


Here I Am

by Enchanted_Hats



Series: The Blind Alley series [3]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Father-Son Relationship, First Movie Tie-in, Gen, Kanto Region, Love Triangles, Mild Gore, Mild Language, Pokemon Death, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2019-10-04 20:25:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 45,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17311304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enchanted_Hats/pseuds/Enchanted_Hats
Summary: Sequel to Blind Alley.Mewtwo never wanted to be found. But, as Ash is already painfully aware, we rarely get what we want in this world.Returned from his harrowing kidnapping at the hands of White Ice, Ash has entered a perilous race: a race to reach the world's most powerful pokemon first. But with Mewtwo, there is no guarantee that the pokemon would be happy to see him again. After all, the last time they met, Mewtwo tried to kill him. Ash can only hope that Mewtwo improves upon acquaintance.





	1. Playing the Hero

**AN:/**  STOP. If you have just happened upon this fanfic, I highly recommend you read this story's prequel,  **The Blind Alley**  first. If not, a lot of the events in this story may be hard to follow. Consider yourself warned!

* * *

You don't have to be a part of this  
I don't think I want you to be  
You don't need this  
You don't need me  
-Zach Callison

**The Past**

**D** elia Ketchum lived her pokemon journey by three very simple rules. First, catch as many pokemon as you had pokeballs to carry. Second, always take the path least traveled. And finally, never, ever trust Johnny G.

Delia slid down a narrow embankment with her Pikachu, Joulie, close behind. The woods, lush and full in the prime of summer, were alive with music. The gargle of the fast moving stream, the bird pokemon swaying from the green canopy above their heads, and the feel of the light on her skin. It was hot, but pleasantly so. The perfect weather to hunt the local pokemon wildlife.

Joulie skipped across the river rocks first, her paws barely alighting on one before dancing to the next. As a lanky sixteen-year-old with long legs and oversized feet, Delia crossed without even a quarter of the same grace as her pokemon. Delia balanced on the middle rock when her phone let out an alarmingly loud chime. Luckily, it didn't take the feet out from under her.

She grunted, taking her next leap of faith. She landed on one foot, only just able to keep her equilibrium on the sloped stepping stone. Her sneakers had far less traction than they used to. Delia could feel herself sliding as she leaped from one stone to the next, all while the chirping ringtone kept pace.

Delia jumped the last stone, falling short of the riverbed. She landed messily into calf-deep muddy water, splashing her waiting pikachu.  _Oh well. It's just water._  Although, Delia didn't relish the blisters she would get if she unwisely decided to keep marching in wet socks. While Joulie shook herself off, Delia plopped down on the dry riverbank and dug through her fanny pack for her oversized telephone.

She twisted the antenna up and flipped the phone open in one deft motion.

"Delia's phone! Delia Ketchum speaking~!" Delia sang into the receiver while she undid the laces on her muddy sneakers.

There was silence on the other line for two beats. She had already started to kick off her shoes when the person on the other end chose to speak.

"Delia? Is that you?" It was hard to tell through the distorted static but Delia didn't think she recognized the voice.

"Speaking?" She continued more hesitantly.

"You answer your phone just like your voicemail so I… I mean, not that I call your voicemail that—that is—well, it's just like the voicemail greeting I can remember… the last time I called your phone—like a while ago. You know… like  _a while_  a while ago."

Now Delia recognized the voice. It was deeper since they'd last spoken. But she only knew one person who stumbled over his words around her as much as he did. It might have been endearing. She might have even encouraged it, enjoyed it. But instead, having spent years with him as her fellow traveling companion, it only served to aggravate her.

Still, she listened patiently. It'd be no good to interrupt him. That only seemed to embarrass him further. Delia peeled off her sodden socks, tossing them aside. They fell in a lumpy clump not far from where Joulie was resting. She took some interest in them, sniffing and pawing at the moist tuffs of fabric.

Delia pressed her phone into her chest, waving Joulie off them. "Hey no. No, Joulie. Those aren't yours."

Joulie huffed but reluctantly obeyed, settling back down on a comfortable bit of dirt nearby. Only when Delia was certain Joulie wouldn't return for the socks did she return her attention to the phone.

"Sorry, Johnny. My pikachu…Um… wait. Why are you calling me?"

There was an uneasy pause on the line. Delia could hear him breathing, sucking in shallow breaths for courage, perhaps. He was always hopeless around her, even when they traveled together. And though she pretended like she didn't know, she did. Delia knew why.

She knew he liked her. Johnny confessed shortly after her fourteenth birthday. It was a ridiculously awkward affair. She had come home briefly, enjoying cooking in the hot kitchen with her father and letting her mother shower her with presents she didn't want or need. Dresses, perfume, jewelry—things a pokemon trainer would have no use for. But she enjoyed dressing up just for a little while, pretending that she'd grow into what her parents hoped.

It was there on the front porch as the sun set lazily in the background that Johnny spilled his guts. How he had the crush since they were children… (they were  _still_  children, Delia thought but didn't interrupt). How he had tried to fight his feelings, to think better of them. But they hadn't changed. They, stubborn things that they were, only grew stronger. Like a horrible monster that devoured sense and reason.

As he groveled before her, Delia was struck with the horror of it. She didn't feel… anything. She didn't dislike him but certainly didn't hold anything equal to the adorous emotions he was heaping upon her.

Her first instinct was towards sympathy. But she had always been pitying him. Since she had first met him, first came into the knowledge of the well-known secret of his inheritance. Johnny was born from a loveless marriage, cruelly calculated into producing a male heir of certain pedigree. He was wealthy and would want for nothing. The fact that he happened to be heir to a criminal pokemon enterprise was just icing on the (disappointing) metaphorical cake.

Delia knew all this because her family warned her against associating with him. Delia knew this because everyone she had ever known warned her about Johnny G. She had been more than willing to listen to them when she hadn't a face to attach to the name.

She hadn't meant for him to fall in love.

That's not what she had intended at all.

So Delia did what she did whenever she faced a problem she couldn't answer. She grabbed onto the porch railing to steady herself. Then, without a word, Delia vaulted over it. She jumped down, whistled for her pikachu and walked away. She left him with no answer. Because she just couldn't.

But then… she supposed that had been a sort of answer all in itself—wasn't it?

She heard his voice from far away, coming in small and timid over the receiver. His answer wasn't an answer. It was another question.

"You're near Viridian right? I heard you were in the Kanto region now."

"Uh, yes." Delia gave her head a little shake. "I am. Just outside. Why?"

"I'd like you to meet my fiancée."

* * *

**Present**

**T** he duffel bag was bigger than his old backpack. It could hold a lot more than he was used to. It was also cumbersome and not easy to carry when slung over one shoulder. But Ash had no choice. After he was kidnapped, his old backpack had been discarded and forgotten in the Viridian pokemon gym. No one had thought he'd be needing it so soon. And he wasn't about to ask for it. That question would inevitably lead to questions he didn't want to answer.

He rolled up his spare underwear and tucked it in next to his balled up socks. Two pairs of jeans, sleeping clothes, five different shirts and one sweatshirt. Everything else was pokemon health supplies, rations, and a spare sleeping bag. He was well-practiced at packing and preparing for a journey. Nearly half his life had been spent on one.

" **You're not packing nearly warm enough,"**  Ash's lips spoke of their own accord.

Ash smiled and glanced up at the small wall mirror across the way. It was the closest he'd get to meeting the eye of the pokemon that currently inhabited his body. He had gotten used to having his voice stolen away by the tiny legendary. But the change in eye color when she did it, that was something entirely new. And this time, like before, the bright shade of blue melted back into his familiar brown eye color as Mew relinquished his voice back to him.

"I have a winter coat. I'll be wearing that so there's no need to pack it."

" **You'll be needing thermals. One slight breeze up there would rip right through your thin human fur."**

Ash shook out an extra nightshirt and repressed the urge to roll his eyes. "Humans don't have fur, Mew."

" **My point made."**

"You worry too much."

" **And you don't nearly enough."**

Ash smiled. That wasn't entirely true, and Mew probably knew it too, sharing his body as she currently was. It wasn't exactly a secret that Mew was far more confident in their future quest than Ash was. Ash still wasn't entirely sure Mewtwo wouldn't psychically implode their brains as soon as they were within range.

" **Have you thought about what you're going to say?"**

"Oh, yeah." Ash abandoned his packing for the little corner desk he had been using the night before. It was littered with crumpled bits of notepaper that he brushed off in search of the one sheet he hadn't torn up yet. "I wrote up some of this last night while you were…" Ash paused, not really sure what to say. Mew didn't sleep per se. But there were moments where her consciousness slipped somewhere Ash couldn't reach. It was happening more and more frequently. Ash tried not to think about what it meant and Mew knew better than to worry him.

Ash cleared his throat and held up the paper so both he and Mew could read. His handwriting was a mess but sharing his memories, it wasn't too hard for Mew to pluck letters and sense from the jumbled scrawl.

"Hey Mewtwo," Ash read aloud. "I'm Ash, remember me? The boy whose memory you wiped? Well, funny story. But I kinda need your help to stop your pokemon grandmother from… kinda sorta destroying the world… I think."

Mew's laughter spilled from Ash's lips. It was hard to keep from laughing himself. If only he didn't so desperately need this to work.

Once Mew's hiccuped giggles had subsided, Ash offered a meek, "Do you like it?"

" **Oh, very much so."**

"Will Mewtwo?"

" **Umm…"**

Her response was not exactly inspiring. Ash stared hopelessly down at the piece of paper shivering in his tight grip. "Maybe he'll find it funny?"

" **I don't really think Mewtwo has a sense of humor."**

Ash sighed, crumpling up the last sheet of paper. "Mew…"

" **But what do I know? We've all done some growing these last few years. I'm not really sure what kind of pokemon Mewtwo is now."**

Ash arched a throw at the nearby wastebasket, the balled up paper rimming the edge before tumbling just outside. The pokemon trainer plopped backward onto the makeshift trundle bed, staring up at the circulating ceiling fan. His duffle bag bounced lightly at the sudden movement, nearly tipping over and off the bed if not for Ash's steadying hand.

"If you don't know what kind of pokemon he is, how do you know he won't try to hurt me?"

Mew was silent for just a moment, mulling something over. At last, she wrested control from Ash to answer, **"When we parted… when he wiped your memory, Mewtwo had a deep respect for you. I don't believe even lifetimes could erase that."**

"Respect?" Ash snorted, flipping over onto his side so he could meet Mew's gaze in the mirror. "Just what in the world happened between us? In the memory we shared, he tried to kill me."

" **I've only been in your head for a short time, but even I can tell that there's a very predictable pattern that happens whenever you meet a legendary, Ash."** Mew ticked off on Ash's fingers.  **"They meet you, try to kill you, and then eventually they come around to helping you or vice-versa. If you haven't befriended them by the end of the encounter, you typically still earn their appreciation."**

"Did  _you_ try to kill me?"

" **Uh… no. I meant… generally speaking."**

Ash laid still, watching the fan spinning above his head. Despite knowing what was coming, he felt calm. The future problems seemed nothing more than black clouds on the horizon. In the moment, he was free to breathe and take solace in the knowledge that he had a plan in place to stop the coming storm.

Mew let him lay in the quiet for a few minutes. He could feel her presence, almost pacing back and forth in his mind's eye. She kept teasing at the microphone, reluctant to take full control and break his reverie.

Ash sighed, "Just talk, Mew. I know you want to say something."

" **It's just that… I don't think you should be going alone."**

"I'm not. You and Pikachu will be with me."

" **You know what I mean."** Mew forced Ash to sit up. Ash begrudgingly went along with the unwanted change in position. It was her turn to stare at him in the mirror, scolding him.  **"There's no reason you can't accept the help of your friends; you'll almost certainly need them in the journey ahead. You'll do them no favors by keeping them in the dark."**

"I'll be keeping them safe."

" **Would you?"** Mew's disapproving look was unrelenting.  **"With each passing day, my creator grows more angry, more powerful. You cannot guarantee their safety by leaving them ignorant of the danger. I don't know them as well as you do, Ash, but even I can tell that they'd be extremely displeased to have you running off on them again. What if they tried to follow you?"**

"They wouldn't be able-"

" **What about Misty?"**

Ash flinched. It was a long moment before he said, "She's with Gary. She wouldn't miss me that much."

" **Ugh, Ash. It doesn't matter who the girl is copulating with—"**

"Copulating?" Even sharing the same voice, Ash only got the vaguest impression of the word. It left him with a very uneasy feeling. Though not nearly as much as Mew's definition did.

" **Mating."**

"M-mating?"

" **She is your companion. She—"**

"Who said anything about  _mating_?"

" **... would miss you as much as your Pikachu would—"**

"Please do not  _ever_ use my mouth to say that again!"

Mew harrumphed. Even though they shared a body, they did not wholly share a mind. The social norms of humans were still an alien and absurdly over-complicated mess. Affairs of 'the heart', as humans seemed to refer to them, even more so. She did not understand why the young boy was letting his base emotions control him. Though Mews did not mate, they understood the concept well enough from interactions with other pokemon that populated the planet. Humans seemed to take the simple act of reproduction so personally. And if you ever dared to call them out on it, they'd get all upset. Ridiculous!

" **Regardless,"**  Mew continued.  **"My point still stands. Your friends would not take well to you leaving."**

"Well, that's fine. They don't get a say in this."

" **Shouldn't they?"**

"It's my quest," Ash snapped, jumping off the bed and gesticulating angrily at his own reflection."You entrusted me to carry it out. So trust me when I say it's better not to involve them."

The door cracked open, just large enough for a small electric rodent to slip in. Though from the small, low voice that Ash's ears could only just recently comprehend, Ash might have thought one of his friends had just walked in on them. It took a second for his heart to stop pounding.

It wasn't the first time Ash had been nearly caught arguing with himself. He really didn't want to explain everything that happened to him while he had been in WI's custody. And his possession by a legendary pokemon was something too big to even begin to explain.

" _Arguing about this again?"_

"Pikachu, shut the door."

Pikachu rolled his eyes and kicked the door closed behind him.

" _Let it just be stated, I agree with Mew. You shouldn't sneak off without our friends."_

"Nobody cares, Pikachu."

" **Well, I care."**

Ash moaned into his hands, trying to silence his betraying lips. Pikachu took the moment's reprieve to jump onto the rickety cot so as to be closer to his master's eye level.

" _I know what you're doing,_ Pikapi _. And they aren't going to be any safer if you leave them behind, you know."_

Ash let his hands fall but he avoided his Pokémon's eye. "I'm not the same runaway kid I was last time. Things are…  _way_  different now. I'm different." Still avoiding the eye of everyone in the room, Ash zipped up his duffle bag. He took longer with the simple action than was necessary; trying to focus on the task. At length, he continued, "I'm not dragging the others into it."

" **So you are making their choice for them?"**

"Well, fancy that," Ash laughed meanly, his eyes flashing back on his reflection in the mirror. "I can't imagine how that would feel, not getting a choice. Now would I, Mew?"

Mew might have said something. He felt his lips stirring with her response, but she must have thought better of it. They both knew that Ash had been given a choice; a false one. Mew had been desperate and had taken advantage of the Chosen One, as many Legendaries had done in the past. And Ash himself had found it impossible for him to refuse. So yes, it had been a choice. But the options were poor: a mere illusion of choice. The outcome had been set as soon as Mew had asked.

Guilt and remorse were things alive, writhing inside him, Mew's emotional state unconsciously affecting her host. And Ash's own feelings, closer to the surface, turned uncomfortably in his gut. He had been over this with himself already: no feeling bad, no feeling sorry for himself and no hard feelings. But Ash was still finding it hard to let go of the unfairness of the bad hand he had been dealt, and like a child, he'd lashed out again.

"Sorry," Ash grumbled.

" **Don't be. You have every right to be angry with me…"**

Ash blinked and stared hard at the ceiling. "I thought I was past this."

" **Why would you be? You've been given no time to process it. I have pushed you at every turn. And if not me… others have been quick at your heels."** Mew sighed and pushed the shaggy bangs from Ash's forehead; a gentle, motherly gesture.  **"Which is why you should wait for your friends. Breathe, Ash. Let your friends carry some of your burdens."**

Ash recoiled as if trying to shrug free from her grasp. As if that were possible. He violently threw his hand away from himself, accidentally knocking his knuckles against the nearby cabinet. The pain only added more forcefulness into his voice. "We  _cannot_  wait! How can you even say that? You're  _dying_!"

" **I was aware of that, thank you."**

"Stop it! I'm serious! God dammit, Mew. Do you have to be so goody-goody? Acting like you don't care when I know you do! I feel everything you feel, stupid! You—You're pissing me off! If Mewtwo—"

"Pikapi!" Pikachu cried out in warning.

"...is half as infuriating as you are, I might have to—"

Ash had whirled about in mid-rant, shocked to find himself face to face with a familiar redhead. He fumbled his words, his train of thought completely derailed by her sudden appearance. She must have slipped in while Ash was busy arguing with himself.

_How much did she hear?_

Ash's eyes nervously flitted in Pikachu's direction.

Had Pikachu seen the moment Misty entered, or was he caught as much off-guard as Ash had been? The brief glance was an insufficient answer, and Pikachu looked far too alarmed for it to have only been a few seconds. Pikachu, himself, didn't have to worry about being eavesdropped on from the other humans in Elm's laboratory, but it seemed he had momentarily forgotten that fact. Like Ash, Pikachu could only hold his breath.

Misty was biting her tongue, unable to meet Ash's eyes. She looked awfully pale, although Ash supposed that was to be expected after having just walked in on her friend crazily arguing with himself.

When she finally dared to lift her eyes, her gaze seemed distant, troubled: unable to focus on the faces around her. "Ash," She said hesitantly. "There's something you need to see."

Misty grabbed his arm before Ash could protest. He didn't want to be dragged off by the redhead. Not without backup. Ash looked back toward his Pikachu, trying to appeal for help, but Misty was having none of it. She yanked him forward unforgivingly, pulling him unwillingly along into the open hallway. "You can argue with Pikachu later. This is  _important_."

Head spinning and heart pounding in his throat, Ash had no choice but to comply. He stopped dragging his feet and fell into a reluctant pace alongside his captor. He still had no idea how much she overheard. He looked over at her troubled face, watched as she worried on her bottom lip. Even now her sea green eyes carefully avoided his own. Did she know he was planning to sneak away? Did she know that he planned to find Mewtwo? Was she taking him somewhere private to bully him into staying? Guilt him into being honest? Did she suspect the truth of his possession, or did she only think he was rendered insane from his torture at the hands of White Ice? Admittedly, Ash didn't know which was worse.

Misty led him into the small lobby of Elm's expansive laboratory. It seemed as if everyone else was already there, huddled beneath a small television set bolted to the ceiling. All except for Team Rocket, who must have been still caring and fretting for James. In a flash, Ash took in everyone in exacting detail, every nervous twitch, and expression. Already hotwired into expecting the worst, he read a lot of bad things through their body language.

Gary was seated, shoulder still heavily bandaged but no longer hooked to an IV, with an expression that could have mirrored Misty's own. His fingers were steepled and holding an intense staring contest with the opposite wall. Giovanni stood behind him, staring outside the window but bracing himself with the back of Gary's chair. His knuckles were white from his grip. Tracey, Professor Oak, and Professor Elm were in a huddle together, staring at the television as if transfixed. And Delia stood fretfully away from the others, pacing. She stopped when Misty returned, her face flashing from relief to anxiety to something Ash couldn't quite understand. Pity? Regret?

Delia rushed forward to meet them, taking Misty's hands away from Ash so as to comfortably hold them herself.

"I brought him," Misty said softly.

"Good, thank you, dear. Go sit down. You look like you're about to faint dead away."

Ash looked back at Misty in sudden alarm. Her pallid face seemed more pronounced at his mother's observation. He noticed she looked upset but had she been  _that_  upset?

"No, I'm fine," said Misty gently, pulling herself free from Delia's kind hands. "I—I have to call my sisters. They'll be frantic," She allowed herself a small smile. "I can rest after I make sure they don't do anything stupid."

Misty walked away, pulling out a thin Poke'dexter to make her vidcall. Ash watched her leave with a frown, whirling back around to his mother for an explanation. He didn't need to say anything. His expression was enough to elicit a deep sigh from his mother.

"Ash, dear. I'm afraid we've all been given quite a bad shock."

"What is it?" Ash looked between all the faces in the room. Just like with Misty, they all avoided his eye. "Did someone die?"

"No, no. Nothing like that." Delia seemed about to answer, but couldn't yet get her mouth around the words. She gave a helpless look to the others, a plea that Professor Oak was only all too eager to answer.

"Perhaps, rather than tell Ash... it would be better to show him."

The others nodded in eager agreement. The wizened Professor beckoned Ash over to where he could see the television screen better. The sound was muted; something quickly remedied by Gary, who snatched up the remote.

The news broadcast washed over the group and Ash listened, perplexed, to a small offhand report about local power outages due to suspected electric pokemon in the area. At Ash's questioning look, Professor Oak nodded.

"Give it a minute. They keep re-reporting it every hour."

Ash didn't have to wait long. The clean-cut newscaster eventually left the lighthearted stories behind. His jovial expression and tone deadened as he switched modes. Even his co-anchor, a pleasantly smiling brunette, dropped her smile right on cue.

" **And we return again to our coverage of White Ice's ongoing manhunt for one… very troubled pokemon trainer."**

An old picture flashed on the screen of a smiling ten-year-old trainer. And next to that was a digital recreation of Ash's own face as it was now. Ash blinked in surprise. Inside, he could feel Mew's own gasp trying to bubble to his lips.

" **Ashton Satoshi Ketchum, last seen near the outskirts of Goldenrod city in Johto, escaped White Ice's custody. Arrested as a suspect in the string of pokemon robberies that have plagued WI since earlier this year, young Ashton, with the help of a few Team Rocket-affiliated accomplices, managed to incapacitate several WI officers in his escape. Of those accomplices, the most surprising happens to be the lovely Miss Misty Kasumi Yawa of the famed Cerulean City gym. She's the youngest of the Cerulean sisters, isn't she, Barb?"**

Ash watched in quiet horror as Misty's own bright face flashed on screen. Unlike his old photo, hers was new. Possibly taken in a photo shoot meant to publicize one of Cerulean Gym's many maritime shows. She had glittering seashells in her hair and shimmering makeup that only made her dizzyingly beautiful eyes stand out more.

" **You're right, Jim. Yawa had earned quite a reputation lately as a particularly fearsome gym leader, quite the opposite of most water-based gyms in the past. She was well on her way to single-handedly getting official recognition from the Indigo League as a 5-star gym. Although, I guess that's all out the window now."**

Underneath both photos, came a list of pokemon they were  _armed_  with. Ash wished they had been a little less thorough in their investigation, but both pokemon teams were completely accurate. Charizard and Pikachu had both been labeled as extremely dangerous. Only one of Misty's pokemon was given the same treatment. Golduck… Ash didn't really have time to process why.

" **Such a shame. Seeing such a promising youth throwing away their life for the likes of Team Rocket."**

" **And there can be no doubt of that, can there, Jim?"**

" **Unfortunately not. One of the other accomplices happens to be none other than Mr. Pokemon Mafia himself, John Giovanni. Recently thought to have amended his ways and serving out a probation in Viridian whilst maintaining his only legitimate franchise— Viridian's Pokemon Gym—Giovanni was caught engaging in battle with several officers."**

Now it was Giovanni's turn to be broadcast. Ash turned from his father's grim face on the screen to the equally grim-faced man in the room. Giovanni looked on impassively. Ash supposed he must have been used to people bad mouthing him being the former leader of a mafia organization. Perhaps even more so now that he'd been rendered toothless.

The broadcast continued as more faces that Ash knew were laid out on screen, one by one, like cards in a losing hand. The latter were not photos but forensic sketches done up of Jessie and James with their names and their known carried pokemon beneath them. Not being official trainers probably made it next to impossible to find photographs of the two. The artistic renderings were probably thanks to Cassidy and Butch, who would have been able to provide every detail of their former Rocket rivals. The drawings were, unfortunately, pretty true to life. Only Gary was lucky, his sketch looking the most unlike him. There was no name with the sketch of the spikey-haired gentleman nor an accurate portrayal of his pokemon team. White Ice had not anticipated his being there nor did they seem to nail down his true identity. It was a small mercy, as the only one more famous than Misty in the room would have been Professor Oak's ambitious grandson.

The newscasters concluded the story by warning their viewing audience of how dangerous the individuals mentioned were. They weren't to be approached or reasoned with. A toll-free number scrolled across the screen while the anchors urged their audience to call if they spotted any individual matching the descriptions of those mentioned, or if they had any information on the individuals in question.

Gary hit the mute button just as the news switched topics to something less heartbreaking.

Delia wasn't mentioned. And thankfully neither was either Pokemon Professor. Both must have managed to keep from White Ice's notice. Though Ash suspected it wouldn't be long before reporters and police officers alike hunted down his relatives. His mother would have been the first on their list.

Ash met his mother's eye. "Mom…"

Delia smiled. "I'll have to go back to Pallet Town."

"No, Mom. They'll come after you."

"It's more suspicious if I don't. Besides, I can give them false leads, keep you safe," She placed her hands on her son's shoulders, leaning in to give him a soft kiss on his forehead. "I'll be okay."

"I'll go with you, Delia," said Professor Oak. "No need for you to face this alone."

Delia smiled though it didn't quite reach her eyes. "Thank you, Samuel."

"What I don't get," Gary said, standing up and breaking his reverie at last. "Why is White Ice still coming after him? We gave them what they wanted. Hell, they nearly killed Ash. For all they know, he  _could_  be dead. What could they possibly want from Ash still?"

The eyes in the room went slowly from Ash to the only other person who might have had some insight into White Ice's character. Giovanni shuffled uneasily under their gaze. He awkwardly cleared his throat and made his way over to where Ash was standing.

It was subtle. His back was to everyone else in the room, everyone but Ash. And to Ash, Giovanni pointed to his eyes, disguising the gesture with a scratch to his nose.

' _Does she know?'_ Giovanni mouthed. About his eyes. About Mew. About his possession.

Ash frowned and gave a small shake of his head.

Only a handful of people knew about Ash's new condition, the majority of them pokemon. Meowth, Pikachu and, of course, Giovanni himself. The confession wasn't relayed out of any sort of sentimentality between estranged father and son. Ash used Mew to threaten his father. It was the only way he knew how to get Mewtwo's true location out of the stubborn man.

Seemingly satisfied, Giovanni turned back to the group. "My best guess would be that Andromeda feels the need to tie up all her loose ends. She's not certain that Ash died in the exchange. She's looking for proof. And possibly revenge against the rest of us for trying to thwart her plans."

It sounded plausible enough. But Ash knew the truth and he couldn't say it. Giovanni probably surmised it too.

Ash knew Andromeda's next move. Mewtwo. An unfathomably powerful pokemon that she could lock up inside her machine and siphon to her heart's content. With his psychic abilities at her fingertips, Andromeda would be unstoppable. And Andromeda probably suspected, if he lived, Ash'd be trying to reach the pokemon before her. To stop her. To save Mewtwo, the bleeding heart that he was.

This was why he hadn't wanted to seek Mewtwo out. They'd be bringing White Ice right to the dangerous Pokémon's doorstep, making an already terrible situation worse.

But there were extenuating circumstances. They didn't have the luxury of time or choice. Mew was living on borrowed time. They needed to reach Mewtwo before Mew slipped away into Ash's consciousness completely. If they waited until White Ice decided to stop chasing him, it might already be too late.

Mew had already given Ash a frightening understanding of what could happen if he failed; if he was unable to unite Mew and Mewtwo to confront their wrathful creator. The wild pokemon attacks were only a small nuisance compared to the tidal wave that would be coming.

Ash gripped his head, bracing the incoming headache. How had this already become such a mess? They hadn't even started yet!

While the others tried to puzzle out motive and future headings from their limited information, Ash excused himself. He ducked around his mother's concern, reassuring her that he was fine. And it was as Ash was dodging his mother, that Gary made his way past them. Ash hadn't noticed it until he was halfway down the hall, halfway back to the room he had abandoned before.

Ash stopped dead. Just a few feet ahead, Misty stood, wrapped up in Gary's embrace. She was openly sobbing in his arms. Concern for her conflicted against his burning jealousy for the man who held her. He should have said something. All the pain she was suffering, the loss, the humiliation—it was because he, Ash, had come back into her life.

She didn't deserve this. Neither of them did. And it wasn't right to be envious of something he couldn't, shouldn't have. Gary and Misty. He hadn't wanted to face it before, he didn't even want to think about it. But now, Ash could see how gentle Gary was with her. How she so willingly clung to him—with such familiarity. Maybe… Maybe they would be okay.

Face burning with shame, Ash walked past them both. When he closed the door behind himself, shutting out Misty's quiet sobs, Mew took control of his lips again.

" **Ash…"**

"They'll be better off without me."

Pikachu looked up from the bed, confused, expecting to be let in on this new development. But for once, Mew didn't argue with him. She didn't say anything.

* * *

 **T** he sun was bright and hot in the sky. But there was a warm wind that kept rustling past his baggy shirt. His mom was doing her best to balance the heavy picnic basket and keep the breeze from tossing up her long skirt. Ash danced around his mother, eagerly looking forward to the feast that she had prepared for the two of them. Ash took two or three steps for every one of his mother's, only just able to keep up with her longer strides.

 _Soon, soon,_  she kept saying. She never seemed satisfied with any stretch of green, marching them ever onward for a new patch. When she finally laid down the checkered cloth, she shooed Ash away from the basket.

_Go play. It's not time to eat._

Ash grumbled along with his grumbling stomach. The sandwiches she was pulling from the basket were some of his favorites, plump with sweet cream and fresh fruit. It was torture watching, unable to partake, so Ash heeded his mother.

The tall dry grass off to the side of their picnic spot was taller than he was. He slipped through, tumbling into a maze of swaying blades. The wind whistled through them; it almost sounded like a pokemon. He bounced and danced his way through them, giggling with gleeful abandon. Eventually, Ash came upon the idea that this tall grass was perfect for hiding in. He should hide from Mommy and then jump out to surprise her!

Ash crept back to where he thought the opening to the tall grass was. But when he peeked between the swaying blades, he saw not his mother, but a little girl. She was small, small like him. With funny brown fur, long and plaited from the top of her head. She was wrapped up in something brightly colorful with images on the surface that resembled flowers. It didn't look like her own skin. What a strange-looking pokemon!

Ash watched her as she picked wildflowers. The grass had opened up to what seemed like open sky but was just the side of a cliff. And though the girl had no wings, she picked the plants fearlessly, bending and stretching to reach ones that grew off the side.

She reached for one particularly stunning yellow bloom growing on an outcrop off to the side of the cliff's top, stretching out her tiny peach-colored paws, face growing pink from the effort. And Ash watched, his large, unblinking blue eyes completely enraptured with the tiny creature.

She scooped the air, once and then twice. When her fingers finally brushed the petals, she let go of the grip she had on the cliff side. She tipped dangerously forward and then completely vanished over the side.

Ash didn't hesitate. He burst from the grass and jumped off the cliff after her. She made a lot of noise, shrieking piercing sounds as he wrapped his arms around her waist. He could feel her heartbeat beneath his fingertips, fluttering like a bird.

And because Ash knew he could, he uprighted them. They twisted about in the air, slowed and then gently floated like a bubble back to the top of the cliff. Ash's toes landed first then the girl's feet followed afterward. She collapsed against him, crying but thankful. He couldn't understand her words, they were guttural and strange. She had to be one of those pokemon that liked to talk with their mouths. But he could tell. He was good at reading pokemon. She knew he saved her. She was thankful.

"Mew," Ash said, hoping the sound would comfort her. His voice was softer than hers, gentle. "Mew, mew." He continued with the nonsense word, hoping the soft sounds would calm the girl down.

She did, her sobs quieting into soft hiccups. He made silly faces at her and she began to smile. He did a backflip in the air for her and she laughed and clapped her paws…hands.

She was a human, Ash realized with a start. Not a pokemon, but a human.

And then suddenly there were others like her. But they were bigger, taller…meaner. They snatched her back with them, shielding her behind their massive bodies. As if he meant her harm! He didn't! He just saved her!

He tried to say so. But his words were just nonsense he had made up and spat out from his lips. They couldn't hear thoughts.

The biggest and meanest extracted himself from the group, standing over Ash. His eyes were like pits in his face, deep and dark. Ash kept using soft words, holding up his open palms—- paws... trying to play submissive. He scuttled backward but was running out of places to go. The human held something like a rope in his hands, but when he threw it, it expanded into a cage, a net that entangled and caught Ash.

Ash cried out—the heavy thing pulled him to the ground. The humans were towering over him. They held rocks, which they smashed into him. Over and over again they cracked the stones against his bruised skin, ignoring his cries and thoughts of pain. He felt the bones in his arm separate and crack. His leg seemed to shatter into a hundred sharp shards. They were working their way over his body, breaking everything with their rocks, moving towards his skull.

"Stop! Please stop!" Ash screamed.

In a blink, the humans melted away and twisted into something new. Now Andromeda was pinning him down, and twisting the knife in deeper; deeper and deeper into his shoulder. She leaned over him. He could smell her sweet floral perfume, the strawberry scent of her long blonde hair wafted around him. She wouldn't let go of the knife, pushing down as she leaned close to his ear. He felt more than heard her whisper.

" _Such the hero."_

"GET OFF!"

Ash punched up and with the sudden thrust came an unmistakable surge of energy. He felt it rip through his flesh and charge through the dissipating nightmare.

And Ash was fully awake when the blast slammed into the overhead ceiling light. The light immediately shorted at the sudden collision of energy, showering everyone below with sparks. Pikachu fell off the couch, but thankfully Tracey only shuffled and continued to snore within his sleeping bag.

Ash lay on the couch, sweaty, chest heaving and arm still outstretched from the released attack. Slowly, he flexed his fingers, then lowered his arm.

"Well," Ash said breathlessly. "That was new."

Ash sat up in time with his disgruntled pokemon. Pikachu glared grumpily up at him from where he had fallen.

" _I'm gonna stop sleeping with you,"_ Pikachu snapped.

"Aw, Pikachu. Don't be that way."

" _It's safer on the floor."_

"Well…" Ash glanced back up at the damaged ceiling light. It still seemed a bit scorched from where his energy blast had struck it. "That might be true."

It was well into the night now. Ash could see the time blinking at him from the small digital clock across the way. He hadn't planned to sleep quite as long as he had; his dexter's alarm failed to wake him. Now half the night had expired away. Ash had maybe hours before the rest of the laboratory's occupants would stir.

It was now or never.

He nodded over at his Pikachu and climbed to his feet. Both human and pokemon were careful not to wake Tracey as they carefully gathered their things. Ash reached over the couch to pull up his duffle bag. Flattening down his mussed-up hair, Ash followed his pokemon out into the main lobby.

Everything was still. Ash could only hear his own footsteps and the soft padded footfalls of his tiny rodent pokemon. The automatic doors at the entrance were frozen. Ash had to pry and push them open himself. He stumbled out beyond them into a warm and humid evening. The sky was dark with clouds. Pidgeot would find it difficult to navigate, but it was a risk they'd have to take. Once they were far enough away, he'd switch to using Charizard.

Ash tossed out his Pidgeot's pokeball. The pokemon appeared with a croon and rustle of feathers, having just been tossed from its own slumber.

"Pidgeot. You up for a night flight?"

Pidgeot fluffed up thoughtfully, its sharp eyes eying the dark low hanging clouds above them. His feathers flattened as he responded, _"The weather is poor, Master."_

" _What? No ill omens or superstitious numerology patterns today, Pidgeot?"_  Pikachu said with unmistakable snark as he jumped up onto Ash's shoulder.

If birds could blush, Ash would have sworn that's what Pidgeot would have emoted. His wings shivered in agitation and his pupils shrank in Pikachu's direction. It took Ash a moment to realize what was wrong.

"It's okay, Pidgeot. You don't have to act any differently just because I can understand you now."

" _You might regret that,"_  Pikachu joked.

Pidgeot's anxiety still kept him mute. Instead, he inclined his head, encouraging Ash to mount. Pikachu jumped on first. Ash was just about to follow when a sudden voice stopped him dead.

"So… I don't think I gave you permission to leave."

Ash slowly turned, guilt mixing with shock on his face. Misty was there, idly tossing a pokeball up and down in her hand. Though it had been Misty who had spoken, she wasn't the only one standing in the courtyard.

"Did I? Do you remember me giving him permission, Gary?" Misty asked the man casually leaning in the shadows of the wall behind her.

"Nope."

"Didn't think so." Misty caught her pokeball and rounded on Ash, backing him up against his feathered pokemon. "I won that pokemon battle against you, Ash. You are not allowed to run away anymore. You promised! And I intend to hold you to your promises. You got that?"

"Misty—Misty you… you don't understand!"

"Explain, then."

She stepped back, arms crossed. Ash looked helplessly back at Gary, who just threw up his arms in response. He'd find no help in that quarter.

"I… I… Look!" He grabbed her shoulders and gave her a light shake. "I'm wanted. Because of me, you are too. It would be better if I left… then you'd be safe."

Misty swat his hands away. "Nuh-uh. I'm going with you."

"Me, too," Gary chimed in.

"No! No, no you're not. You can't come!" Ash's gaze drifted from Misty to where Gary hid. "You especially!"

"Like hell, we can't. You going to stop me?" She had flashed her pokeball again. Ash stepped back uneasily.

"We outnumber you, Ashy-boy. You're going to have to let us come this time."

"It's dangerous!" Ash shouted out desperately.

"All the more reason, you aren't going alone."

"You don't understand!"

"Then explain! Explain yourself, Ash Ketchum!"

"He's gonna talk tah dat Mewtwo guy."

All three whirled about in surprise as, not for the first time, Team Rocket got the bounce on the group. James was still nursing a heavy bit of bandages about his midsection and was leaning against Jessie for support. But the two were both outside, following their small cat pokemon.

"Team Rocket?"

"Prepare for trouble, make it double and all that," Jessie said, arms too preoccupied holding James upright to give the motto any conscious effort. Meowth ignored them both and continued addressing the group.

"Dats why its dangerous. And why he wants to go alone. He's got tah talk tah Mewtwo."

"Shut it, Meowth," Ash hissed, directing a meaningful stomp in the mouthy Pokémon's direction. Thankfully Meowth was appropriately cowed and didn't betray one word too many.

"Mewtwo… that sounds strangely familiar. Have we tried to catch a Mewtwo before?" James asked.

"No," Jessie sniffed. "I would have remembered it."

Misty stepped between Ash and the cat pokemon, pushing Ash back gently. "Don't fuss at Meowth. We already knew you were going after Mewtwo."

"You did?"

"Giovanni told us."

Ash's face darkened. "Of course he did."

"And a good thing too," Misty smacked his arm hard enough to smart. Ash recoiled, rubbing where she hit. "You would have left us! What were you thinking? Giovanni said Mewtwo is probably the world's most dangerous pokemon. Why in the world do you want to find it?"

Ash was still rubbing his arm. He stared down at the ground, finding it easier to look at than the fuming redhead in front of him. "I can't tell you."

He expected a fight. He even flinched when Misty reached out and then carefully slipped the duffle bag off his shoulder.

"That's okay," She said, shouldering the bag herself. "We're still going with you."

"Me too!" Meowth piped up.

"Us too," said James with a nod to Jessie. She just rolled her eyes. It was as much affirmation they'd get from her.

Meowth turned about to look at his teammates, his eyes shiny with tears. "You guys!"

"Like we'd let you go with Team Twerps alone, knucklehead," Jessie snapped, not unkindly.

Ash couldn't help staring at James' very obvious injury. One that he had gotten while trying to protect Ash. It seemed everyone around had battle scars from trying to save him from something. "James…" Ash said gently. "You can't. You're still hurt."

"He can." Gary had been quiet through most of the discussion. Sensing his moment, he had stepped forward from where he had been watching, joining the others. "If you follow my plan, James will have time to recover. Unlike yours, where you'd likely get yourself caught by the police a few hours in." Gary playfully knocked against Ash, nearly tipping the other boy off balance. "Were you really planning on flying Pidgeot all the way to the mountain range? You're a wanted man, Ash. You'd maybe last an hour tops- flying on Pidgeot with all those people looking for you."

Ash frowned. It was true he hadn't really taken a moment to reevaluate his plan since learning how White Ice and many others in the prefecture were on the lookout for him. He hadn't had time. But he wasn't sure he liked the idea of taking more time to get there than was necessary.

"What did you have in mind?"

Gary wagged his own pokedexer at Ash smugly. "I can procure us a ride. It would make us difficult to track and be the exact opposite of what White Ice would expect from us. They expect us to be stupid," Gary smirked, poking Ash on the forehead. "Like you."

"And we can provide you with the suitable disguises!" James enthusiastically added.

Ash couldn't help bemoaning James' proposed help. "I am not dressing up like a girl again."

"Again?" Gary asked.

"We can worry about disguises once we're underway," Misty interrupted, giving Ash a meaningful look. "So long as Ash agrees to stay put for tonight."

"I think there's a story there…"

"Gary…" Misty warned.

"About the dressing up as a girl thing? I mean, I'd really like to hear it."

"Gary!"

"I'm just saying!"

A hush fell over the courtyard as all eyes fell back upon Ash. He stood, backed against his riding pokemon. They watched to see if he would mount Pidgeot still. Would he listen to all they said and still try to run away? Ash had to admit he'd already brazenly done so in the past.

He felt Mew warmly in the center of his chest. The pleasant purr of happiness, of seeing Ash surrounded by those who cared and who wanted to help. He turned back to his Pidgeot and the collective group held their breath.

" **Stay with them, Ash,"** Mew whispered with his voice.

"But you don't have time."

" **You are more than capable of carrying on with the mission without me. Stop feeling like you owe me something. You don't. If anything, it is I who owes you… and I'm not sure I can ever pay you back,"**  Mew pressed Ash's own hands urgently against his chest as if to hold him back.  **"Please, Ash. Don't be alone. Stay with your family. You** _ **need**_ **them."**

The tears that burned into Ash's eyes were not Mew's. Not this time. He cupped his face, trying to hide them from the others. But Pikachu saw. He was there, leaping onto Ash's shoulder, gently petting his human friend on the head.

And through the tears, Ash began to smile. While shaking his head, he whispered to the pokemon inside, "You could have forced me to stay. You wanted to. You had enough power to do it."

" **I've already forced you to do enough,"**  Ash's lips responded. **"Besides… what sort of friend would that make me?"**

When Ash turned back around, his mind had been made up. Wiping the tears from his eyes, Ash faced his compatriots with a wide smile.

"Alright. You win. We'll go together."

* * *

**The Past**

**"J** ohnny."

"Delia."

It was awkward… because, of course, it was.

Delia had walked into the Viridian pokemon center after a two-mile hike, sticky with sweat and smelling like summer. Her long chestnut-colored hair was tied up in a high ponytail and she was wearing the casual best of a logo-emblazoned tank top and high water shorts. She didn't look any different from the other trainers that had walked through those sliding doors.

But Johnny stood out like a sore thumb. Dressed up in a button-down collared shirt and dress slacks, he looked more ready to take on a courtroom than a pokemon battle. He had taken to oiling and slicking back his hair lately. Johnny thought it made him look older. Delia thought it made his forehead look bigger.

"You look good," Delia lied pleasantly.

"Thanks, you too."

Oomph. She felt the comment like a punch to the gut. No, she didn't look good. Delia knew she didn't. Her calves were streaked with mud and she was dripping with sweat, for mew's sake. Why would he lie about that?

But Delia kept her internal struggle from appearing on her face. Instead, she allowed him to carry her through the small talk. He asked about her family and she answered. She asked about his and he responded in kind. With all the boxes of polite exchanges checked, that left only the point of their venture. Meeting the future Mrs. Giovanni.

They started off together in silence, marching side by side, close enough to touch but careful not to. Johnny swore that she, the mysterious fiancée, was staying in a hotel not far from the center. But they'd be meeting together at a small outdoor cafe just on the other side of the small city.

 _Why did I agree to this?_  Delia thought furiously for the hundredth time since she had backtracked to the nearest pokemon center. She had only herself to blame. Joulie hadn't cared one way or the other. And yet, somehow she and her pikachu had come here anyway.

Delia figured it must have been out of pity, as it had always been with Johnny. But then no, what was there to pity? He was getting married. This was hardly the occasion for pity.

Then perhaps, it was out of obligation. But why? To what did she owe Johnny? It wasn't her fault that he had decided to become her spurned lover. She wasn't family or even that close a friend. How could she have possibly been obligated to meet the woman who had decided Johnny's heart was worth having?

Closure, then. To officially end this... acquaintance, friendship, whatever it was, that she had had with Johnny all these long years. To close the door on something she had long since felt some responsibility for. It wasn't her fault, it wasn't. But maybe if she could just meet the woman who had helped turn his affections away, Delia could finally forgive herself.

Not that she had anything to apologize for!

"So…" Delia interrupted. Johnny was starting in on one of his long talks about the legality of pokemon batting in regions unsupported by the League. Politics. He always did this when he couldn't think of anything else to fill the silence. She was desperate to keep their time together from being a complete slog. "How did you meet?"

"Who?"

Delia raised an eyebrow. "Who? Your fiancée! Who else?"

"Oh. Well, um… We met as children, I guess."

"Is she pretty?"

"I think so."

"Smart?"

"Yes."

"When did you start dating?"

"Uh… a few weeks ago now, I think."

Alarm bells were beginning to go off. Delia tried to keep her face impassive as she asked, "Wow. Whirlwind romance, was it?"

Johnny shrugged. Delia didn't think it was just her imagination that Johnny looked smaller, the further they walked. His shoulders were rounded and his face pale and despondent.

"Good sex?"

Johnny stumbled over his own feet. "W-what?" He sputtered his cheeks an unmistakable rouge in hue.

"Well, I just imagine it must be if you are rushing to get married so soon," Delia said flippantly.

"We haven't—we haven't done that," Johnny swallowed hard. "Not that it's any of your business."

"What about kissing? She a good kisser?"

"Delia!"

"Oh come on. You invited me to meet her. Can't I play annoying big sister for a bit?"

"Delia, I think you misunderstand." They'd stopped walking. The pink was gone from his face and Johnny looked decidedly more serious. For his sake, Delia stopped smiling. "Yes, Annie is my fiancée. But I didn't come to choose her through any sort of conventional means."

"I'm not follow-"

"It's an arrangement. Between her parents and mine."

"Oh." Now Delia was free to pity him. "I'm sorry."

John waved her apology away. "It's fine. You didn't know."

They started walking again. In an attempt to salvage the situation, Delia tried her hand at filling the silence. But she didn't resort to the droll subjects Johnny was apt to reach for. Instead, she told him about her pokemon training, about the places she had gone, people she had met and things she had done. She told him about the great marsh in Sinnoh, and the glittering cave in Kalos, and how she had nearly battled to the top of Mt. Silver. The battles were what Johnny was the most interested in and Delia knew it. So she indulged him, gave him a taste of what his position and station in life could never afford him.

Before they knew it, they had arrived. The cafe was charming little place wreathed by a small rose garden. It looked exactly the sort of place Delia would have expected Johnny to pick. Pretty and expensive.

There weren't too many tables that were occupied but it was clear that none of them held Johnny's fiancée. After a quick word to the wait staff, John decided he would need to go look for her.

"She must still be at the hotel. Wait here, Delia. Just in case she comes."

And Johnny was off before Delia could think to ask what Annie looked like. Delia stood off to the side, next to some tall shrubbery. She bounced on her heels, gave Joulie a few head scratches and paced in circles. But no feasible candidate for Johnny's wayward fiancée came.

After some time waiting, Delia decided to take a short walk around the area. She was careful to keep the cafe in view, just in case someone should come. Delia enjoyed walking lazily in the sunshine, listening to the soft chirps of pidgey roosting in the nooks and crannies of the buildings above.

Then suddenly came a sound distinctly different from the rest. It was sharp and piercing, a cry unlike any pokemon Delia had heard before. The city block was an unintentional echo chamber; it was very difficult to tell where the sound had come from, bouncing as it had from building to building.

And there it was again, a slightly more strangled sound than before. Joulie's hackles rose and her cheeks sparked. If the sound alone wasn't enough to set Delia on edge, her Pikachu's reaction definitely did. Forgetting to keep the cafe in sight, Delia started searching for the source of the cries more vigorously.

It was in a small patch of woods behind one of the nearby window shops that Delia finally found it. As she was turning the bend, a small bloody bundle of feathers dropped with a sickeningly wet thud by her feet. Delia stifled her own scream with her hands. A pokemon! Or what used to be one. It was so mangled; its head twisted back, eyes bulged and beak snapped apart. It was impossible to tell what type of bird pokemon it used to be.

Delia fell to her knees before the poor dead creature. Before she could be brave enough to touch it, Joulie had leapt from her shoulder. She was hissing and spitting at a person Delia hadn't even noticed.

It was a girl, one not that much older than Delia herself. Her blond hair was cut sharp and short, bangs mostly obscuring the girl's eyes. She was wearing a decisively pretty summer dress and her hands were covered in blood that she was now trying to discreetly wipe off on the grass around her.

"Did… did you do this?"

The girl lifted her head and brushed the hair away from her eyes with the backside of her soiled hands. "What?"

Delia felt her anger rising alongside her mounting courage. She climbed back to her feet. "I said," Delia hissed, stepping forward and closing the distance between them. "Did you do this? Did you murder this pokemon?"

"It's a Spearow," came the girl's icy response.

"You didn't answer me."

"It attacked me."

"So you crushed it to death?" Delia lunged, grabbing the girl by the front of her dress. This action, like none other, gave the girl pause. She winced, threw up her blood stained-hands and cried out.

"Don't hit me!"

"Why shouldn't I?" Delia spat, only just staying her balled fist. "What kind of person would do that to a pokemon? You're a monster!"

"I was protecting myself! I don't have any pokemon! I'm not a trainer! Please!"

"And you'll never be one if I have any say in it!"

"John! John, save me!"

Delia stopped dead. In her shock, she let go of the girl's dress, allowing her to stumble unceremoniously backward into the dirt.

"You're…"

"Annie!"

And then, there he was. Johnny rushed forward just as he was supposed to. But when he saw Delia, he hesitated. He meant to go to his fiancée's side, comfort her as she didn't deserve. That would have been bad enough. But the sight of his fiancée's aggressor completely derailed him.

"Delia… what?" John gasped, reaching for her instead.

Delia recoiled, arms and hands tightly tucked to her chest. She didn't want either of them touching her.

Annie was sobbing, yanking at Johnny's arm, trying to focus his attention back on her distress. But he was frozen. And in his eyes, Delia could see that she had been kidding herself. The soft expression he had while looking at her. How he'd smile and laugh at her stories of adventures he had no part in. He invited her to meet his fiancée. He invited  _her_.

"Delia, are you alright?"

"Just…just fucking stay away from me," Delia spat out at last. Her voice was flat and dead, the same as she felt. "Both of you! Stay the fuck away!"

And with that Delia tore out of the clearing, with Joulie close behind.

* * *

To Be Continued…  
Please Read and Review!


	2. Disguises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "W-wait wait. Ground rules first!" Ash held his hands out in front of himself as if they might actually provide a sufficient barrier against the onslaught of the coming makeover. He instinctively reached up to tug at his hair that was admittedly getting a bit shaggy in the last couple weeks. But he preferred it that way as opposed to whatever Team Rocket might have in mind. "I can put on a silly wig for you guys but no haircuts. No dying my hair. No piercings. Nothing permanent."  
> James shook his head. "No can do."  
> Before Ash could protest James' declaration, Jessie took up the explanation for him. "Wigs can come undone. All it takes is a single careless brush or snag to reveal your identity to everyone."  
> "We'd know dat better den anyone!" Meowth chimed in.  
> Jessie continued as if he hadn't spoken, "The risk is too high. We have to make sure your disguise is something that can't be peeled off like a mask. It has to look natural."  
> "We can relent on the 'nothing permanent' clause. But a haircut isn't permanent, is it?" said James with a soft smile. He was trying to be kind. Ash just wasn't much in a mood to be thankful.  
> "Just… don't make me bald."  
> 

Some people long for a life that is simple and planned  
Tied with a ribbon  
Some people won't sail the sea 'cause they're safer on land  
To follow what's written  
But I'd follow you to the great unknown  
Off to a world we call our own  
-Michelle Williams

 **I** t happened way quicker than Ash would have liked it. Everything seemed to fall neatly in place as soon as he had given his consent. He was swept up in it. What had started out as a solo (possibly one way) journey, had quickly become a collaborative project amongst his compatriots. They salvaged what was left of the morning by starting a plan of action. Things were discussed over hurried breakfast. Between glasses of orange juice, scattered bagels and a single slowly emptying tub of cream cheese- they mapped out every role and route.

Ash could have tried to insert himself into the process more. But that single surrender to both their and Mew's dearest wishes had stolen the rest of his energy. He hadn't slept well. His head buzzing and eyes burning for sleep, it took all he had to focus on making a simple breakfast. He fell into the task, scowling when he had to scrape what was left of the cream cheese from the sides of the tub. He'd occasionally pipe into the conversation when a question was directed his way. But despite this journey being his own personal quest, it seemed to have ceased needing much of his opinion on it once his friends were involved.

Ash sat at the far of the end of the table, idly sipping on orange juice and trying to think of nothing. Fortunately, his head felt too full to do much more than operating the most basic of functions. He stared at the wall while Pikachu, who had leaped from his shoulder to the table to chew on pieces of his bagel, watched over the proceedings.

Gary was taking point. That was to be expected as it was his idea that they were following. Something about procuring them a ride to the edge of Kanto. From that point on, several options were juggled. Team Rocket had a surprising amount of input to provide. In their journey chasing Ash and Pikachu around the world, they had amassed an impressive network of underground methods of travel. Apparently, there were places where a Meowth hot air balloon was too conspicuous, imagine that.

By the time Ash had picked his plate clean, most everything was settled. It was Misty who had noticed Ash first. She had looked up from the collection of hand maps that they had strewn across the table, zeroing in on the young man this whole venture was for. She saw the disheveled hair and dark circles under his eyes for what they were.

"Why don't you get some rest, Ash? You look exhausted."

Ash was leaning a little too much against his hand. He shook his head in weak protest. But a single touch on his arm was enough to do him in. Misty led him gently from the table and back to the neighboring room of sofas and armchairs. Gary couldn't help leveling a barb at the young man as he was led past.

"How on earth were you going to manage to stay on top of Pidgeot this morning?"

"Adrenaline," Ash quipped back without his usual venom. He was a little too tired to keep being mad at his friend this morning.

Ash plopped into the nearest couch. He thought that having performed her good deed, Misty would be on her way now. But she lingered, wringing her hands with her eyes looking anywhere but in his direction. Ash was too tired to stand being this uncomfortable. He rolled over, pressing his face into the couch's back. It was better than trying to pretend that everything about her didn't still bother him. He knew he didn't have any merit to his feelings. Ash and Misty were never a thing and never would be. He was a fool for thinking otherwise. And yet the feeling still burned out a hole in his chest.

It would probably hurt for a while. Especially since Ash couldn't talk to anyone about it. After all, he was the only one stupid enough to think that Misty would wait around for him. The only one selfish enough to hope she wouldn't move on.

He could still feel her eyes on him. She probably wanted to say something and Ash just wasn't in the mood to hear it. He pretended to be asleep, staring hard into the pillows and wishing she'd just leave him alone. A soft breeze signaled her eventual exit. And as Pikachu curled up on the soft throw pillows by his head, Ash found his eyelids finally starting to droop. He didn't want to dream of anything this time. But before he could rely that message to the other soul currently occupying his body, he had fallen asleep.

* * *

 **I** t was too much to hope that he wouldn't dream. The dream started in Ash's own head. There were normal things, human concerns, interwoven into things that were undoubtedly Mew's influence. In this dream, he still seventeen, sitting on his mother's shaggy carpet that he used to play on as a child. It was important to note his age; the height and body he occupied in the dream. Because he wasn't acting like himself.

Misty and Brock were on his either side, similarly sitting, similarly waiting for the dream to commence. And although Ash was himself at his current age, he started to play a familiar childhood game. One where he'd crawl across the carpet, underneath coffee tables, and across the couch pretending to a be a pokemon. A talking pokemon, of course. It was exhausting pretending to speak in nothing but strings of "bulbas" or "char char". Through the course of the dream, Ash went from his standard pokemon favorites of Charmander and Bulbasaur to suddenly being addressed as Pikachu by Misty.

 _Oh yes. I'm Pikachu,_ Ash thought. And that was that.

Misty and Brock played no pokemon. But neither did they find it strange that Ash was pretending to be one. They walked alongside Ash, playing themselves in the similar roles they had had on his pokemon journey. Misty, the unwanted tag-along nag and Brock, the older brother who looked out for them. There was no one to play Ash.

Ash hopped up onto the couch, looking across the room and out into the south windows that opened into his childhood backyard. That's what dream Ash did. But there was a second reality folded over the first, the one dream Ash was playing out in his imagination. In his imagination, he had just perched himself on a nearby tree and was surveying the road ahead.

"I can't see the next town," Ash called down to the other two.

"Perfect. So much for sleeping indoors tonight," Misty harrumphed.

Brock touched her shoulder and smiled. "Hey now. The weather is pleasant enough. Camping outdoors again shouldn't be that terrible."

"You say that now, Brock," Ash said jumping down from the tree lightly. "But the weather could change between then and now. I wouldn't jinx us."

Brock made a face at Ash. Probably wondering if the "little pokemon" was actually going to whip out a storm in his imagination just to make this game a little more interesting.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

Ash returned the look with a smile.

Ash had meant to step over the coffee table but as he did, things changed. The way things suddenly do in dreams. He wasn't Pikachu. Not anymore. He was spinning, swimming, floating out into the center of the room. His feet lifted off the floor. He was suspended in the air out in front of them. All pretense of imagination had been discarded. This was reality. This was solidly his living room. He was himself. And his friends were themselves- staring up at him in horror.

"No, wait. This is-"

Misty covered her eyes, cried out and looked away from him. Brock, however, couldn't stop staring.

"This is just pretend!"

He could feel the color drain from his face. He had tried to reach out to Misty, at least to her. She was his best friend. His one true companion through everything. If anyone could understand what he was going through; if anyone could see past it… She pulled away from him, fell against the couch's armrest, trembling. Brock might have comforted her if he could just stop staring. The sight of his horrible powers had turned him into an unfeeling statue of stone.

Ash could feel Mew's power burning from his eyes. He tried to blink it back like tears. And then there were tears, they spilled down his cheeks traitorously.

"I'm still me."

But even he didn't believe it.

The roar was back again. It rushed over him like a wave, washing away everything. Misty disappeared last, her tearful expression the last Ash could see before it was dissolved in the white. Ash touched down in the white space. A small red ball tanged against the ground not far from where he stood. Ash didn't react. He expected it. It rolled unacknowledged across the sandy white expanse.

Ash didn't want to turn. He knew what was waiting for him. It wouldn't be any of his friends. There was only one thing that ever met him in such a place. But he knew, like a band-aid, he needed to rip this off sooner or later.

Ash took two deep breaths and then, at last, turned to face the monster that was waiting for him.

He was just as frightening as Ash remembered him. The creature, more shadow than form, hung a few feet above Ash's head. And thanks to Mew's second senses, Ash could feel the energy just as surely as he had seen it before, radiating off the creature. He didn't want to talk to it. His voice broke before he could even begin to form a sentence.

" **I am the most powerful Pokemon in the world,"** the shadow creature boomed through its shapeless mouth.

"Perhaps," Ash's voice replied. "But you are only a memory."

Ash hadn't spoken. Mew hadn't stolen control of his voice as she had done before. His mouth was still and yet he heard his own voice somewhere outside himself. Ash was quite startled when an identical version of himself stepped up alongside him. Well, almost identical. He had appeared the same height at first, the more that Ash focused on the lookalike, the other young man transformed. He became younger and younger until he was undoubtedly a child version of his current self. A ten-year-old pokemon trainer who, despite his short stature, held himself in such a way that made him seem ancient. His eyes held that knowledge again. The knowledge that Ash knew now had been stolen from him, from the very shadow that was haunting him now.

"A memory?" Ash repeated after himself helplessly.

His younger self smiled almost sympathetically. "He can only hurt you if you let him."

"I… I know I'm dreaming," Ash said, becoming surer of it now that he had spoken it out loud. "But soon… soon I will meet him. I will meet Mewtwo."

Younger Ash cocked his head at the older one and chuckled, "Silly. You've already met him."

"He tried to kill me."

"He didn't." The smile was gone from the boy's face now.

"Mew told me-"

" **He didn't** _ **try**_ **.** _ **They**_ **killed us both."**

* * *

 **A** sh threw himself back into waking. He gasped out as he resurfaced, nearly throwing Pikachu from his own resting place. Face dripping with sweat, for several seconds Ash couldn't do anything more than just hug his knees. The words buzzed in his ears as if they had actually been spoken outside his dream. It was a statement that made absolutely no sense. How could he have possibly been killed?

Ash let his eyes fall closed again. He found comfort in the soft even breaths and thumping of his heart. And as he waited, reality became more solid than the gripping world of his dreams. Its words began to lose their power.

 _It was just a nightmare. Just a nightmare,_  Ash whispered under his breath.

The particulars of the dream were already starting to fade away. But the words remained, hauntingly stubborn. Ash tried to push them away; will them into forgetfulness. But they were stubborn and immovable.  _They killed us both._

" **Are you alright, Ash?"**  Ash's own lips whispered.  **"Did you have a bad dream?"**

Ash rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He dropped his legs down from the couch, surveying the room in his now more conscious state. The sun was coming in from the windows brightly now, spilling in warm streams out onto the dull ivory carpet. He couldn't see anyone around. Daylight must have pulled everyone into their daily tasks.

"You can't see into my dreams?" Ash asked idly, not too eager to relate the particulars of this nightmare just yet.

" **No. Not yet."**

The  _yet_ left a bad taste in Ash's mouth. He decided he'd rather not have Mew explain.

Pikachu groggily pulled himself up alongside him. Ash gave the sleepy pokemon a kind scratch behind the ears before lifting him back up onto the familiar perch of Ash's shoulder. Mew might have been waiting for a response or perhaps she sensed that Ash wasn't wanting to talk. She didn't press the topic, letting Ash rise and stretch.

After a quick stop in the bathroom to splash some water in his face, Ash decided it was time to return to the world of the living and actually figure out what had gone on without him. He padded barefoot down the halls, peeking into rooms that might have been occupied by his missing friends. His mother had already packed the night before, ready to leave this morning; inevitably taking both Professor Oak and Tracy with her. Ash suspected Misty and Gary probably hadn't relayed the details of his escape attempt to her. If they had, she would have surely delayed her departure to give him a talking to. And that would have been as awkward as it would have been unwanted. He had lived the last few years pretending he didn't have a mother. It was much too soon to have her suddenly occupying that role in his life again.

He had been trying to pretend a ton of things lately. That he didn't need anyone in his life. That he didn't resent the constant meddling of the legendaries. And likewise that he didn't secretly relish the horrible adventures he often found himself in- nightmarish as they often were. And now he had a new thing to pretend too.

When he walked into the correct room, at last, Ash caught sight of  _her_  hand resting over Gary's. It was slight, a gentle comforting brush. Gary returned the touch with a smile. And Ash immediately felt like he was intruding. They had been sitting together, stitching up a long canvas that appeared pieced together with whatever scraps of durable fabric they had available. Of its purpose, Ash couldn't even begin to hazard a guess. He cleared his throat and tried not to enjoy how quickly the two pulled apart.

"Ready to be useful," Ash said, keeping his eyes solidly on Gary.

"Well, the best the way to start is to change all that," Gary said, gesturing to all of Ash. Ash couldn't help the sour expression that took over his face.

Misty nudged Gary in the ribs. Ash tried to ignore how playful and natural the action seemed. "He's teasing you, Ash," Misty said. "Gary just means that we need to get you in a disguise."

"Do I have to? I could just… put on a hoodie or something."

" _Heh, are you serious?"_  Pikachu piped up. For a second, Ash had forgotten that he could understand Pikachu now. The bodiless voice suddenly coming from his shoulder was disconcerting. Ash pushed against his pokemon's face; not enough to knock the pikachu from his shoulder but enough to annoy. Pikachu mumbled around his offending hand.

"I'm not wearing a dress," Ash retorted.

"We weren't suggesting that," said Misty. "Team Rocket has a better idea in mind."

"Yeah besides… you'd make an ugly woman."

Ash flipped Gary the bird. Misty grabbed Ash's offensive hand and dragged him towards the exit. "Come on. No dresses, I promise."

They stepped around the canvas and out the door. They hadn't made it that far down the hall before Misty had dropped his hand.

"Why do you do that?" Misty asked.

"Do what?"

Misty shot him a look. "You've been hostile to Gary ever since we got back."

Ash ducked around the glare, careful to avoid her eye. She'd surely be able to read him like an open book otherwise. "I have not."

"You have too."

"We're just guys. It's a guy thing. You're reading too much into it."

"No, I'm not," Misty had grabbed his arm again, stopping in the middle of the hallway. Ash felt cornered, her grip on his arm way too tight. He kept his eyes on the floor as she continued. "I know you, Ash. I can tell when you are upset. Gary worked just as hard as anyone else to get you back. Are you seriously still mad because we had to trade those blueprints to get you back? Because you shouldn't be. We all made that decision, not just Gary."

Ash yanked himself free of her. But it didn't help the cornered feeling. The hallway stretched long and empty on either side of him. Yet he couldn't take either path. Misty had blocked him with nothing more than her presence; her expectation. He hated her and yet he didn't want to disappoint her. He didn't want to be something less in her eyes.

"It's not that," Ash mumbled.

"Then what is it?"

Ash finally let his eyes meet her own. There was no spark of recognition in them. No matter how long he let his gaze linger on her too green eyes, down her flush cheeks and to her soft pink lips. His own lips burned from a wish to meet hers. Feelings that he thought must have been so plain on his face were completely lost on her.

_Because she didn't feel the same._

Ash let his eyes fall once again. "It's nothing. I'm just being stupid."

Misty seemed mostly satisfied with that answer. She lightly smacked the back of his head. "Well, then knock it off."

"I'll try."

They reached Team Rocket's makeshift quarters too soon. The trio shared the same exam room that had been done up for James. As with all the other rooms in Professor Elm's laboratory, it was meant to accommodate pokemon not human patients. But somehow they had made it work. It certainly not as comfortable a set up as James would have gotten from a hospital, but, in their situation, beggars couldn't exactly be choosers. Ash let Misty enter first, reluctantly trailing in after her.

The room was rather narrow. Ash wasn't sure where Jessie was sleeping. There was one cot stretched across the center of the room, pressed flush against the far cabinets. It was here that James had evidently been patched up. But besides the cot, there didn't seem to be any other furniture in the room.

James shared the bed now with his teammates, all three of them pouring over their limited supplies that they had dumped out on the cot between them. Assorted plastic bags of rations, what looked like cosmetics and a surprising collection of hair dyes were just a few of the items Ash caught sight of before Jessie hastily swept them up in her arms.

Realizing who had entered, the trio relaxed- Jessie dropping the objects in a noisy messy clatter back upon the bed.

"I brought you your sacrificial lamb," Misty joked, pushing Ash out in front of her. Ash would have shot her a nasty look in return, but he was much too preoccupied with the thought of being smothered with that large collection of make-up Jessie had close at hand.

"Finally! I'd thought he had tried to run off again… come on, Twerp. Time for your makeover."

There wasn't much room to maneuver. Upon yanking at Ash's arm, all Jessie managed to do was drag the young man over the cot. Pikachu gracefully abandoned his master's shoulder for the bed before Ash could be run into it. He stumbled, knocking over several of the tubes and cylinders scattered across the sheets. They spilled out over the floor. Jessie didn't seem to mind, kicking them aside as she pulled him down just next to a waiting James. The young man hadn't bothered to rise from the cot throughout the whole exchange. Besides, with his injuries, Ash suspected both he and Meowth were probably there on a conciliatory basis.

So Ash's surprise was pretty great when it was, in fact, James who grabbed Ash's chin and began thoughtfully examining his face like an artist examining a waiting canvas.

"Yeah, I'd say we definitely need to do something about these shadows under his eyes. It's too defining. They'd recognize him right away."

Jessie nodded thoughtfully over James' shoulder. And Ash tried his best not to feel like he was a dish being fancifully prepared for dinner.

"W-wait wait. Ground rules first!" Ash held his hands out in front of himself as if they might actually provide a sufficient barrier against the onslaught of the coming makeover. He instinctively reached up to tug at his hair that was admittedly getting a bit shaggy in the last couple weeks. But he preferred it that way as opposed to whatever Team Rocket might have in mind. "I can put on a silly wig for you guys but no haircuts. No dying my hair. No piercings. Nothing permanent."

James shook his head. "No can do."

Before Ash could protest James' declaration, Jessie took up the explanation for him. "Wigs can come undone. All it takes is a single careless brush or snag to reveal your identity to everyone."

"We'd know dat better den anyone!" Meowth chimed in.

Jessie continued as if he hadn't spoken, "The risk is too high. We have to make sure your disguise is something that can't be peeled off like a mask. It has to look natural."

"We can relent on the 'nothing permanent' clause. But a haircut isn't permanent, is it?" said James with a soft smile. He was trying to be kind. Ash just wasn't much in a mood to be thankful.

"Just… don't make me bald."

"A bald teenager aint exactly da look we were aiming fer."

When Jessie reached for a contact case, James caught her hand. "Nah. Too much chance for irritation. It'd end up giving him away if he was rubbing at his eyes too much, shifting it around."

"Ah right," Jessie nodded, shoving the case back into her bag.

"Awww. I was hoping to see how Ash would look like with blue eyes," Misty called out from the doorway.

Before Ash could twist around and glare at her, Jessie had already shooed the redhead away, closing the door tightly shut in her wake.

"Alright then. Let's get started. Ash, take off your shirt and let's get your head under the sink."

* * *

 **M** isty wasn't ignorant of Gary's attention of late. She hadn't exactly discouraged the flirting. It was kind of nice. The sort of normal she hadn't had in her life in a while. It was polite, always so polite. Nothing more than just holding hands and soft sweet compliments. Just like when they first started dating. If Misty just closed her eyes, she could pretend she was back there. A younger soul whose only concern was that she might not actually like Gary back as much as he liked her.

Misty hadn't talked to Gary about it. But she had a feeling that Gary didn't actually want to start back up where they had left off. He had taken their break up far harder than she had. It was kind of hard to take it hard when it was your own fault. Sure, for a few weeks, she hadn't wanted to do much of anything but lounge around the house in sweatpants and shovel down bowls of ice cream. But she sprang back into life with the help of her sisters and the demanding duties of a pokemon gym leader. Gary didn't have any of that. He wouldn't talk to her for months afterward. And when she tried to call, leave messages, none seemed to reach him. She couldn't blame him for being angry. But she hadn't wanted to stop seeing him. After all, once Ash had disappeared, Gary had quickly become one of her dearest friends.

There was a part of Misty that considered that maybe what was really getting to Ash was the relationship between her and Gary. He had been gone for so many years. It was entirely possible that such a friendship was jarring to him. Gary was his longtime rival and Misty his longtime traveling companion. Some worlds weren't supposed to overlap. Misty quickly brushed such a thought away; deeming it too childish. Perhaps a younger Ash would have thrown a hissy fit over Misty's choice in friends. But Ash was seventeen years old now. And he had way more pressing concerns occupying his thoughts than old childhood squabbles.

After having been shut out of the room where Ash's transformation was to take place, Misty decided not to return back to Gary's room. She wasn't really in the mood for more stitching. She wasn't really good at such a menial task. Her fingers were starting to cramp and she had already stabbed herself with the needle a good deal more than she'd like to admit.

Instead, Misty took a turn down into the basement of Elm's laboratories. It was here, after descending a set of rather poorly lit stairs, that Misty had discovered a series of water tanks. They were meant to house ailing or homeless pokemon. Elm and his fellow researchers rarely captured their own research candidates. They were almost entirely pokemon rescued from poor situations that they'd study while restoring back to health. Unlike Professor Oak, Elm didn't have as many pokemon trainers attached to his labs. Thankfully it wasn't too difficult for Elm to make the connections necessary to take overstock from the other pokemon professors of the nearby regions. He always managed to get his research completed.

There were a few unoccupied tanks in the corner. These were perfect for her own purposes. Misty tossed her pokeballs over the rim, releasing her small team into the water. She only held onto Togetic's, the solitary member of her team that wasn't a water type. Vaporeon took to the water quickest, trilling happily as she spun past Starmie and Magikarp.

Misty upended a nearby plastic crate and sat down to watch her pokemon for a while. Nothing calmed her more than watching the joy her pokemon expressed from being the water; all splashing and happy bubbles. The only thing better would be jumping into the water herself. Unfortunately, Elm's tank wouldn't accommodate any humans. It wasn't Cerulean gym after all.

And it was then, within the pleasure of the moment, Misty allowed her mind to settle. Ever since Giovanni had come to them, urgently warning them about Ash's probable plans to run, Misty hadn't allowed herself to take it all in; all the strangeness that had followed them since rescuing Ash from White Ice's clutches. Things were different. And not just a normal passing of time difference. The Ash she had met in Viridian City's pokemon center was a completely different person than the one they had rescued. She had been feeling it for a while now. It was a different air- a strange heaviness around him that she hadn't noticed before.

At first, Misty thought it had just been her imagination. It had been several years since she and Ash had been in each other's company. Their brief reunion in Viridian wasn't enough to reveal all of Ash's new character. And yet, that Ash was frustratingly familiar. Just as stupidly optimistic and careless. She loved how much he trusted, that blind faith that things would always work out.

This man was different. He seemed burned, closed off. Even his eyes seemed darker. Misty wrapped her arms around herself to fight a sudden chill. The memory of them, those eyes with their more intelligent gaze, was a bit unnerving. Since when did Ash look at people with such scrutiny, such sharpness? Ash was just as handsome as he had been before. He held himself as tall around others but, left on his own, he became skittish and fidgety, always looking one second away from either fight or flight. More than once, Misty had caught him muttering under his breath to himself. She hadn't recalled him ever having that habit before.

White Ice had done something to change him. For that alone, Misty could never forgive them. But there were plenty of reasons to despise White Ice. Giovanni had laid out the reasons plain that previous evening, right before they had massed together to confront Ash.

" _He was tortured," Giovanni had explained. His voice far more gentle than Misty could have expected from him. "The anxiety, how he keeps spacing out. He is probably suffering from what happened to him."_

" _How do you know this?" Gary breathed. Misty had the same question but she couldn't ask it herself. She felt like she was going to be sick._

" _He told me himself."_

" _Why would they do that?"_

" _Because they are evil! Those fucking bastards!" Misty finally spit out, unable to keep the emotion from her voice. Her voice cracked but she was too angry to cry. Giovanni acknowledged her response with a nod._

" _They probably thought he had information. Or they wanted to keep him compliant."_

" _I'm betting on the latter," said Gary rather unhelpfully._

" _True. Ash doesn't exactly have the best track record with patience. I'm sure he wasn't exactly willing to wait for a rescue."_

" _Why didn't he tell us? Why only you?"_

_Giovanni couldn't quite meet Misty's eye. He did look appropriately guilty. "If I were to guess, he probably doesn't want to relive it… Or he's ashamed. Or perhaps maybe… he just isn't ready to have you know. Isn't ready for how you might treat him. I don't know Ash as well as the rest of you but even I am pretty sure he wouldn't enjoy being treated like he's… broken."_

Misty hadn't really liked any of those answers. But it would be just like Ash to hide when he was hurting. He did that when they were kids too. A paper cut would leave Ash rolling around in the dirt, whining like a baby. But then when breaking an ankle, he'd limp and drag himself for hours without saying a word. It was really one of the most infuriating things about him.

This wasn't a broken ankle. And Misty didn't know how to help him. She didn't even know if she could. Not if Ash wasn't willing to talk about it.

Somewhere deep down, Misty suspected that wasn't the only reason Ash had become so distant. There was something fundamentally changed in him. Something he hadn't dared to tell them about yet. And Misty was terrified to find out the source of.

Was that why he needed Mewtwo? Was it to undo what had been done to him?

Misty pulled herself up onto the crate, tucking in her legs and resting her chin on top of her knees. It felt somewhat better, holding herself in tighter. As if in these last few hours she had been coming slowly unraveled. And if she felt this way, Misty didn't want to know how the others were doing. Besides, she needed to stay strong. If she wanted to be a proper support for Ash, she couldn't let him down as she had before. No more breaking into messy tears. No more falling apart when the situations demanded actions from her. She wasn't going to be any else's damsel in need of rescuing.

A long time ago she had promised to be there for Ash. It felt like a hundred years now. That promise still held. No matter what had happened. No matter what deep dark secret Ash was still holding back. Misty was determined to stay here, close in his footsteps, just as she had always been.

After all, Ash needed all the people looking out for him as he could get.

* * *

 **M** isty eventually dragged herself back up the basement steps and into the main laboratory. While she had been hiding, the sun had begun to slink down from its high point in the sky. Warm golden light was pouring in from the far windows, painting the walls yellow. Misty longed to go outside and bask in it. But she had shirked from her responsibilities long enough.

After a quick stop by the kitchen for a handful of magikarp cheese crackers, Misty decided to check back in on Ash. Maybe they could make a small lunch before returning to packing and stitching and whatever menial task Gary had set up for them next.

The door was ajar. Misty took it as a sign that they must have finished up. She peeked around the door frame, ready to announce her return to the occupants in the room. But the sight that met her eyes stopped her voice up in her throat.

She almost didn't recognize him. Misty supposed in that way, Team Rocket had done their job. For one thing, Ash didn't have a shirt on. Something he quickly remedied as soon as he had spotted her face peeking from around the corner.

His hair was white. Not only was it white, a stark brilliant shade in such startling contrast to the color it had been before, but they had cropped it short. The sides of his hair had buzzed tight to his skull, leaving only a loose mop on top. The length on top fell loose over one side, into his eyes. Ash kept trying to push it out of his face.

It was a punk haircut and completely unlike anything Ash would ever inflict upon himself. And yet, Misty felt the hot blush crawl across her face before she could think to look away.

"Don't laugh!" Ash spat before she could say anything, hastily yanking his baggy black tee back over his head. "It wasn't my idea!"

"Of course it wasn't your idea. It's brilliant," Jessie simpered from over his shoulder.

Misty took a few more steps into the overcrowded room. She was far more careful in keeping her eyes off of Ash. Even though she yearned to look again, to take it in. Especially with his shirt off. Ash was far more toned than Misty ever remembered him being.

"It's not brilliant. I look like a clown."

Pikachu, who had been watching the exchange from the cot that currently still divided the room, chimed in with a few chuckled out comments. Ash responded by pushing the pokemon off the bed. That just make Pikachu laugh harder.

"So um.. Maybe I'm just not that well versed in the art," Misty began tactfully. "But, why is dyeing Ash's hair a more brilliant shade… less conspicuous?"

"He'll look like a criminal," Meowth said cheerfully.

"He already is one."

Ash winced and Misty instantly regretted her bluntness.

"Well, riddle me this, twerpette?" Jessie said, stepping casually across the cot to land on her side of the room. "When's the last time you've taken public transportation?"

"Um… last month?"

"Good. And when you did, if someone dangerous looking… Team Rocket looking… jumped on the train, how many people started to take a close detailed sketch of his features? How many openly stared so that they could describe him appropriately to the police later? Hell, how many don't immediately vacate the nearby seats to get away from him?"

Misty frowned. "So you're saying… because he looks like he's dangerous, less people will look at him?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying. The majority of people avert their eyes when a Rocket member walks into a room. They don't want any trouble. We'll use that to our advantage."

"Best place to hide someone is in plain sight," James wisely chimed in.

"I still look like a clown," Ash grumbled.

"Oh, we'll put a few fake piercings in your ears and nose, slap on a washable tattoo, and no one will dare laugh." Jessie then reached over to fluff his hair, completely defeating the point she had been trying to make.

Ash smiled back like his mouth was full of knives. If only he hadn't made that face. Now Misty was laughing and feeling pretty sorry about it. At least, Ash didn't hold it against her. He just threw a damp towel at her face.

* * *

It hardly needed to be said that Ash hated his new look. When passing by a hallway mirror, he had been given a start- still not recognizing himself in the glass. It didn't help that anytime anyone saw him they had to make such a big deal about how different he looked. Gary actually dropped his half-eaten sandwich on the floor when Ash had finally gone into the kitchen for something eat. Ash wanted to pick it up and shove into his stupid bewildered face. Instead, he just sighed and tried to ignore it, and the inevitable teasing that came along shortly after.

At least Giovanni had the decency to neither stare nor acknowledge the change. He simply affirmed it with a nod and then continued with his business. If only everyone had just accepted the change as gracefully.

Misty didn't think Ash could tell she was staring. Ash could. And it was starting to grate on his nerves. He knew it was hideous but he didn't think it merited that much staring.

Finally getting a moment to himself, Ash quietly slipped out a side door to eat his hastily made ham and mayo sandwich out on one of the stoops that opened out into Elm's expansive property. Like Professor Oak's laboratory, Elm's was perched on the precipice of an expansive forest. But Pallet town was surrounded by scraggy young trees and heavy grassland. This was a Johto forest, thick and gnarled. The trees were pressed together so tightly, it was difficult to see more than a few trunks in.

Ash munched on his sandwich, trying to ignore how cold his neck felt, bereft of its shelter of hair. Pikachu pawed at his hand, trying to beg for bits of crust. Ash was only too happy to oblige.

" _So you wanna talk about it?"_  Pikachu said, grabbing up the bit of offered bread.

"About what?"

" _About what's eating you? Who else?_ Pikachu pi. _"_

Ash took a larger bite out of his sandwich as an answer. Pikachu sighed, leaning his head against Ash's thigh.  _"Come on. Even she could tell you're being moody."_

"I am not."

" _She's coming with us now. You can't just keep pouting anytime she's around. It's gonna get old real fast."_

"I told you. I'm not pouting."

" _I'm not going to argue with you,_ Pikapi _."_

"Good. Then don't."

"Pikapi…"

Ash shoved the rest of his sandwich into his mouth and dusted off his hands on his shirt and jeans. Mouth still full of bread and meat, Ash couldn't answer Pikachu's probing questions. And neither could Mew, whom Ash had felt stirring in the back of his consciousness at the start of this unwanted exchange.

" _If you aren't going to fight for her, then let her go,"_  Pikachu spat at last. _"Stop pining after her like a mopey human."_

Ash choked down what still remained in his mouth, swallowing hard. He cast Pikachu a sour look. "I am a mo- a human. Mostly human."

" _It's an expression."_

"You have pokemon expressions about humans? You have… negative pokemon expressions about humans?"

" _You have expressions about us,"_ Pikachu shrugged.  _"Turnabout fair play."_

Ash shook his head. He jumped off the stoop, stretching out his arms and keeping his eyes on the forest and away from the laboratory behind him. It was far easier to look at.

"I'm not pining after her."

" _Oh please."_ He could practically hear the pokemon rolling his eyes. Ash knew better than to acknowledge it.

"I know she is with Gary."

" _Do you? Have you asked her?"_

At this, Ash paused. He frowned down at his pokemon sidekick. "I… No. But… I can't just- that would be…"

" _What?"_

"Rude," Ash finished lamely.

" _I don't know much about human social conventions but I'm pretty sure Pikachu pi wouldn't attack you for simply asking about her boyfriend."_

"It is when her boyfriend happens to be my best friend… who dated her without telling me."

" **May I say something?"**

"Absolutely not," Ash retorted before his lips even stopped moving. Mew, however, continued unheeded.

" **You have feelings for this fellow human, yes? Misty?"**

Ash threw up his hands in aggravation. Since he wouldn't answer, Pikachu took it upon himself to answer for his master.

" _Yes. He does."_

" **Then why not let her know? I could talk to her, if that would be-"**

"No!"

" **Then, you. Give her the choice of suitors. If the choice is too difficult, you and Gary may contest for her love. As Pikachu said, you seem awfully reluctant to fight for her. Why is that?"**

Ash ran his hands down his face, mumbling into them. "Humans aren't like pokemon. We don't fight each other for dates."

" **Well technically pokemon do not spar for 'dating' rights. Its for the right to mate with the other-"**

"Oh my god, please stop!"

" **Isn't that the human's end goal too?"**

"I said stop!"

" **I forgot that that word upsets him,"** Mew said to a grinning Pikachu. His pokemon partner slinked nearer, finding far more enjoyment in Ash's discomfort than the other two.

He scrambled back up onto Ash's shoulder all so he could lean in and whisper,  _"Mate mate mate!"_

"Pikachu, I have never regretted being able to understand you more."

" _Mate mate!"_

Before Ash could knock the offending pokemon off his shoulder, the door opened. And who should step out but the very person they had been talking about. _Speak of the devil and she shall appear._  Ash shot ramrod straight, looking very much like a stantler caught in oncoming headlights. If she hadn't been suspicious of his one-sided conversation before, she certainly would be now.

Misty stepped cautiously off the back steps, her eyes lowered and words just as soft and careful as her movement. As if she was afraid of scaring him off. And maybe she would.

"Hey."

"Uh… Hey."

Misty held her arms behind her back and tried to casually look around. The action seemed rather stiff and rehearsed. But at least she was trying to look normal. Ash was still frozen where she had caught him.

"So… what are you doing out here?"

"Nothing," Ash answered a bit too quickly. "Just- just thinking. I was just about to go back in-"

"Oh okay."

Misty stepped aside as if to let him pass. Ash found himself hesitating. It wasn't just because of the expectant looks that Pikachu was giving him. Much as Ash didn't want to admit it, there was a definite part of him that wanted to end whatever this awkward dance was between the two of them. He had hoped that the best the way to end it would be the same way as before. He'd simply run away. All the awful butterflies and burning feelings were easier to deal with if you could just stay away from whatever caused it. So, at thirteen years old, his answer was to walk away. It seemed that even four years later, his answer was still to walk away.

He owed it to himself this time to try.

"Misty I-"

"It's okay, Ash. You don't have to tell me anything. I told you, you can talk to me when you're ready."

It took Ash a moment to realize that she had misunderstood. He shook his head.

"No, I mean. Thank you but no, that's not what I wanted to talk about."

"What is it?"

She was looking at him so earnestly that Ash's courage faltered again. Somehow Ash realized that no matter how she reacted, no matter if she accepted him or rejected him- this would change. The soft expectant smile, the casual way she was leaning away from him, even how comfortable she was with him. She trusted him. The way she looked at him would change, split into a few possible outcomes. Disgust and pity or acceptance and love. He could see each expression just as clearly on her face as the one she currently had. Ash wasn't sure he was okay with any sort of change. He liked her just as she was. Just as she had always been.

Ash inexplicably found a smile slip across his face.  _This is fine,_  Ash realized. _I'm okay with just this._

"Nothing," Ash smiled, shaking his head. "I just wanted to thank you, you know? For everything. You're a good friend, Misty."

Misty returned the smile warmly. Ash's heart still skipped a beat at the sight, but this time, he didn't mind so much.

"I don't know why you are thanking me. I didn't do anything you wouldn't have done if our roles were reversed."

"But still… it means a lot to me. That you all were trying so hard to save me. You especially, Misty. No one else would have been there if not for you."

"I just called for help. I didn't do anything more than what anyone else would have done."

Ash lightly pushed her shoulder, a playful gesture. One he wanted to take back as soon as he had done it. It was a test, to force himself to be more comfortable with this; this new normal he had decided on. "You need to learn how to accept a compliment," Ash smiled.

"Ha. I guess I do. I'm sorry, Ash. Yes, you're welcome," She smiled again and Ash felt like his heart might burst. But that smile was all his and he could be quite happy with it.

"Well then… I guess," Ash said hesitantly as he stepped around her to head for the door. "I'll see you back inside."

Misty gave a backhand wave. "See ya."

Ash closed the door behind him. And it was only after he had left that the smile fell from Misty's face.

"What are friends for?" She muttered into the dead air.

* * *

To Be Continued…  
Please Read and Review!


	3. It's A Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I mean it, Ash," Gary pointed his finger hard in Ash's face, the humor completely gone from his face. "I know you. I know what you'd do. You got some chosen one shit going on again and you're the one we need to get up that mountain. Not me, not Misty, not Meowth- you. So if the time comes that we run into problems, you get your ass out. We'll handle ourselves better without having to worry about you running in trying to get yourself killed."  
> Ash didn't say anything to that. And Gary clearly didn't like the silent look that Ash leveled his way. "I'm not joking, Ash."  
> "I didn't think you were."  
> "Promise me, then. Promise me you will get yourself out first." Gary held out his hand to shake.  
> Ash huffed and looked away. He made the mistake of looking at Pikachu, who was giving him a similarly piercing glare. It was clear he wouldn't win in this situation.  
> "Alright fine," Ash scoffed, taking Gary's hand at last. "I promise."

I find it hard to tell you how I want to run away  
I understand it always makes you feel a certain way  
I find a balance in the middle of the chaos  
-Imagine Dragons

 **A** sh stared as the promised transportation lumbered into Elm's main yard, plowing through puddles as a sudden rain heralded its entrance. It puttered up to the front door, spitting out exhaust in its wake. It sat steaming and dripping in the warm rain. Sheltered by front entry's overhang, with a sweatshirt's hood pulled up over his ears, Ash was in no fit state to meet with the driver. Not that he was supposed to. He was supposed to just witness and report. Ash cast a sidelong look at Gary who was standing proud, arms crossed and nodding as he marveled.

"A pokemon food wagon?"

"A covered wagon," Gary returned with a wink. "My Gramps often had these delivering food for the pokemon in our lab's supply. I once hid away in one. Got halfway to Cerulean before Gramps realized what happened."

"I remember that," said Ash mildly, still unable to look at the wagon with anything other than disgust.

The front cab looked dented and rusted; its rolled down side windows smeared and discolored yellow by age. The back wagon didn't look that much better. Though certainly covered, as Gary mentioned, with a weather green tarp, it smelled strongly of hay and dried cake-y pellets that were undoubtedly still hiding underneath.

Gary playfully slapped his friend on the back. "Yeah, you wouldn't get in with me, you coward."

"It was a dumb idea."

"Yeah, but usually you are all about those."

"When they are  _my_ dumb ideas."

"Well, this," Gary gestured to the monstrosity in front of them. "Isn't your idea. It's mine. And it's brilliant."

"Ugh, what is it?"

Always with impeccable timing, Team Rocket had decided to step outside the laboratory to join the others. Jessie and Meowth, always the more vocal of the trio, were unafraid to let their true impressions known. Only James stayed quiet in the background, eying the vehicle with some objectivity.

"It's our ride," Gary snapped, none too pleased with Jessie's immediate dismissal.

"Oh good. You are planning to have us delivered via this rust bucket to the doorstep of the world's most dangerous pokemon, reeking of pokemon kibble. Great plan. Genius level, this."

"Don't be stupid. We aren't riding in this the whole way."

"Can we not ride in it at all?" Meowth whined. Gary wisely decided to ignore the talking cat.

Once more, Gary had Ash by the shoulder. "I know my buddy here gets it. No one will ever suspect us sneaking out of here on a delivery truck."

Ash really kinda wished Gary wouldn't drag him into this. But, mindful of his promise to Misty, Ash bit his tongue. He was going to stay civil even if Gary irritated him to death. Which would probably happen sooner than later.

"He's right," James said, coming closer to inspect the grimy truck. He didn't dare duck into the rain for a proper inspection and instead simply 'hmm'ed and 'haa'ed at it from a careful distance. "I certainly wouldn't look twice at it."

"Who would?"

Although still thoroughly repulsed by it, even Jessie had to admit that it suited their needs perfectly. After loudly announcing her disapproval, Jessie had taken up sulking in a corner, arms crossed and pouting, probably regretting her altruism in volunteering for this mission. James and Meowth accepted their fate far more graciously. And as Gary went out to debrief the recruited driver, the task of letting Misty know fell upon Ash's shoulders.

It didn't take very long to track her down. He found her in the back room she had been originally sharing with Delia, folding things into her pack. Her back had been to the door when he slipped in. She turned at the sound of his footsteps, yelped and quickly shoved what she had been holding deep into her backpack. It took Ash a moment to realize that she had been folding up her lingerie.

"Knock, goddammit!" Misty snapped, her face going an adorable red under her already brilliant hair.

Ash threw up his hands defensively. "Sorry, sorry!"

She took a moment to catch her breath, tightly zipping her bag closed. As if there were any danger of Ash trying to sneak a peek again. Ash knew better than to try anything with her. Even before he had the interest in girls, Misty made him painfully aware of the consequences he'd suffer should he ever cross the line.

Misty blew some hair from her face before saying at last, "What is it?"

"Our chariot has arrived." At Misty's grimace, Ash realized she was probably better acquainted with Gary's plan than the others were. "I see you already know about the food wagon?"

"Gary mentioned it. Our gym sometimes enlists their services so I already knew what we were getting ourselves into."

He tried not to let the realization needle him. After all, he and Misty were simply friends, nothing more or less. What did it matter that Gary was talking to Misty alone, telling her things he wasn't sharing with the rest of them? They were dating, weren't they? Perfectly natural behavior between a couple… sharing everything.

Ash tried to shake loose the thoughts before they could take too much root in his head. A quick change of subject was in order to chase away the former thoughts.

"Is your gym going to be okay without you?" Ash asked.

Misty looked momentarily pensive, staring aimlessly off into the distance. It was only a second before her eyes snapped back into focus.

"Probably not. My sisters are pretty incompetent when it comes to running a gym at the best of times. But they take excellent care of our pokemon. I think I can trust them to keep the place from burning down. I'll worry about our gym rankings once I get back."

She spoke of it so definitely, as if it was a for sure thing. As if they didn't both have bounties placed on their heads. It would probably be quite some time before either of them would be able to return to normal; if Ash ever could.

Misty must have noticed how his eyes had darted away, guiltily. Her expression softened. Before Ash could stop her, Misty had stepped forward and gently pulled him into a hug. His heart immediately started pounding hard in his throat. But her arms tight around him was too wonderful to pull away from.

"Hey now," Misty said, pulling back to flash him one of her heart-stopping smiles. "It's going to be okay."

He tried to duck away from her optimism. But Misty was going to have none of that. Ash was given a start at her sudden touch; lifting his chin to meet her eyes. "It is going to be okay, Ash. I promise."

Ash couldn't help chuckling at that. "You shouldn't make promises like that."

"I mean it. You've got me with you now. No psychic pokemon can handle both of us together. We singlehandedly returned the sacred treasures to Shamouti island and saved the world, didn't we?"

"I did that."

"You drowned," Misty retorted, poking him in the forehead. "I pulled your dead weight from the water. If not for me, you'd be sucking seaweed on the bottom of the ocean floor. We both saved the world."

Ash rolled his eyes. "I'll admit you saved me."

"And I'd do it again. So, don't worry. Mewtwo can't possibly hurt you with me around."

Ash snorted again. "Mewtwo has never met a more fearsome opponent."

"You better believe it. It has no idea what it's dealing with."

It was clear that Misty's main goal was to get Ash to crack a smile. She succeeded, enjoying the sight of the young man who had been disappearing over the last couple of weeks. Sure, his hair was a rather weird shade now, but the smile was still there. It was a very welcome sight.

"Thank you, Mist."

Misty slung her pack over her shoulder. She couldn't resist poking him in the forehead one more time before heading out the door. "Thank me by knocking next time."

It didn't take long for Ash to be ready. He had already packed up everything he owned the day before, back when he was planning to take this journey solo. Upon adding his companions to his party, there wasn't a need to make many adjustments to his luggage.

Per Team Rocket's instruction, Ash had fastened a fake piercing to wind the outside rim of his ear. A fake helix piercing, they had explained. It a messy twist of bronze, possibly meant to imitate the snaking coil of some sort of dragon. To be honest, Ash hadn't looked at it that closely. That he had to wear the stupid thing at all, pinching at his ears, was irritating enough. He knew he looked ridiculous in it. He didn't feel like knowing how ridiculous.

Ash had refused the fake nose piercing, feeling that one pinching accessory was quite enough. Jessie had really tried to insist upon it. They compromised on a fake eyebrow piercing so long as Ash could wear a hoodie rather than the extravagant ripped up leather garb they had been trying to get him into. James glued the metal ball right above the arch of his brow and Ash immediately slipped on a Team Rocket approved hoodie. None of his were to be allowed, all of his clothing too obviously him. So the pitch back hoodie had a rather tasteless print of a cubone skull on it. Not exactly something Ash would have picked out. But Ash understood the look Team Rocket was trying to go for.

Instead of leaving at the break of dawn as Ash had planned, they were not heading out until the mid-afternoon. While Ash's plan was to cover as much ground as sunlight would allow, Gary's was to remain inconspicuous. It would be less odd for a food wagon to leave after having unloaded throughout the morning. So Ash impatiently waited away the morning as the rest of his party got ready. He hastily gave his goodbyes to Professor Elm around lunch time, scarfing down yet another ham and mayo sandwich (his culinary skills still left much to be desired). And then he was off. He was the first inside the wagon, tossing his stuff in and ducking in himself as soon as the rainstorm had let up.

He was anxious to get going. And though it was rather pointless to sit in the stationary wagon while the others were still getting ready inside, Ash still had the childish hope that if he waited it out in the wagon that maybe it would spur his friends to hurry up.

Pikachu leaped in shortly after Ash swung in his duffel. He went straight to the corner, hoping to claim a spot amongst the haystacks that looked more comfortable than a place in the wagon's center. Ash approved of his pokemon's choice and wordlessly settled down beside him.

He had thought of taking a nap but the itchy straw was really not that soft. So instead he picked a spot on the overhanging tarp to stare at. He didn't let himself think anything. Thinking would invite Mew in. And he really didn't need a second mind's introspection added to his own.

A few minutes of silence were interrupted by the soft drum of rain picking up again outside. Ash was thankful that the tarp did its job tolerably well, leaking only a little in the far corners.

Ash had always found emptying his head fairly easy. He knew the others would joke that that was because there wasn't much going on in his head to begin with. Ash knew that wasn't true. He thought and mulled and worried over plenty of things. And sometimes, if he didn't keep it in check, it would overwhelm him just as it would anyone else. No, this was different. It was a kind of talent, or at least Ash liked to think so. It certainly made it easier for him to fall asleep in weird places.

He'd just pick a spot, let his gaze go soft and focus entirely on his breath. The feeling of air moving in and out of his body. The easy way in which his chest and abdomen would rise and fall. It was the comfortable way of grounding himself. Of knowing everything was still working. That he was still alive, still breathing.

It kept him present and chased everything else away.

Everything was starting to feel far away, his eyelids growing heavy when Ash was startled back into himself. The side of the tarp rustled as someone lifted the side and climbed in.

"Yo," Gary said, tossing in his own pack towards the back. Ash couldn't help but notice his friend's lack of disguise. The only unlike him was the button down off-white shirt and dark slacks he was wearing. It hardly altered his appearance.

"That's what you're going with?" Ash grumbled, rising himself back into a sitting position.

Gary only smiled, gesturing towards his own attire with a certain smugness. "Like it?"

"It's not much of a disguise."

"That's because it's not finished." Gary then procured a pair of folded glasses from his back pocket. They were thick black frames that looked suspiciously like they had once belonged to Gary's father. Gary slipped them on and then struck a pose. "Ta dah!"

"Wow," Ash smiled. "What a change! You actually look like you have a brain."

Gary playfully punched his friend on the shoulder. "Hey! Don't knock it. Clark Kent was an expert of disguise."

"Right, sure."

"Besides, I don't have an accurate character composite done of me. It will be much easier for me to ward off suspicion. It's you and Misty that we have to worry about."

"And Team Rocket."

Gary rolled his eyes. "Sure, if you want to count them."

Gary stretched and then shuffled back towards the entrance. Before Ash could ask, Gary started talking,

"Just popped into to let you know that we're gonna head out in a few. Figured you'd be here. Just waiting on the others."

"Are you not riding back here?"

"Nah," He thumbed his nose and smiled. "Riding up front in the cabbie. Someone has to give our driver directions."

"Aren't you worried about being seen?"

"Who me? I'm just a young college kid hitchhiking my way back home. Nothing that unusual. I'll be fine. It's my delinquent friends in the back that I worry about."

"We'll just sleep."

"Sure. If you can," Gary shrugged. And then, suddenly frowned. "If somehow we do get pulled over, you need to run out of here first. No playing hero or anything like that. You get yourself to safety first."

"Really-"

"I mean it, Ash," Gary pointed his finger hard in Ash's face, the humor completely gone from his face. "I know you. I know what you'd do. You got some chosen one shit going on again and you're the one we need to get up that mountain. Not me, not Misty, not Meowth- you. So if the time comes that we run into problems, you get your ass out. We'll handle ourselves better without having to worry about you running in trying to get yourself killed."

Ash didn't say anything to that. And Gary clearly didn't like the silent look that Ash leveled his way. "I'm not joking, Ash."

"I didn't think you were."

"Promise me, then. Promise me you will get yourself out first." Gary held out his hand to shake.

Ash huffed and looked away. He made the mistake of looking at Pikachu, who was giving him a similarly piercing glare. It was clear he wouldn't win in this situation.

"Alright fine," Ash scoffed, taking Gary's hand at last. "I promise."

"Good." Gary gave his friend's hand a hard shake, seemingly satisfied. And with that, he jumped back out of the wagon.

"I'm not sure why you were taking his side," Ash grumbled to his pokemon as soon as Gary was safely gone. "Last time you got so pissed at me for leaving you behind."

" _I got pissed because we were forcefully separated. That was different. But don't worry… if it comes to running, I'll run with you."_

"Thanks buddy."

" _But you will run. Gary is right. We need to get to Mewtwo. We can't do that if we get caught."_

Ash sighed, flopping himself backward into the hay. It didn't soften the ground nearly as much as Ash would have liked. "You're asking me to abandon everyone to save myself. I didn't agree to bring everyone else along just to use them as cannon fodder."

" _You aren't using them as… what?"_

"Cannon fodder. Means… making them expendable. It's a metaphone or something."

" _Metaphor."_

"Right, one of those."

Now it was Pikachu's turn to sigh.  _"You aren't sacrificing them. They are trying to protect you. Just as you would do for them. It just so happens that you are an integral part to the completion of our mission. Without you, without Mew, we won't be able to convince Mewtwo to… do whatever you and Mew want him to do."_

"Talk to his grandma."

" _Really?"_

"Yes, really." After a beat. "At least, that's it basically. Mew's creator is some sort of all-powerful pokemon and we need Mewtwo to help calm it down. Mew thinks it will respond better to protests coming from family."

Pikachu settled down next to Ash.  _"That's weird,"_ he said.

"Certainly not the weirdest thing I've been asked to do as a Chosen One. Collecting glowing stones. Healing a magic tree…"

" _A grandma fetch quest is weirder."_

"Well, I'm not fetching the grandma. I'm fetching the grandson."

" _Still weird."_

"Yeah, a little."

" _A lot."_

"Okay, okay," Ash conceded with a laugh. "A lot weirder."

Everyone else started to file in after a while. Ash tried not to protest too loudly about everyone else's lackluster disguises. At least Jessie and James tried. Team Rocket dressed up as fellow members of whatever gang Ash seemed to have joined. James dyed his hair a darker shade of blue and tied it back in a low ponytail. Sporting a sleeveless tank, the real aspect of his disguise were the elaborate tattoo sleeves he had on either arm. They looked surprising real, although Ash guessed the group had practice in such things. He had an arm of magikarps eating planets and a wide mouth gyarados roaring fiercely into the ether. He hid his too pretty face behind mirror shades.

Jessie likewise had a complete transformation. She had pulled her long red hair up into a high ponytail. She had sports jacket with a meaningless kanji character written on the back. At least it looked meaningful with its swift sweeping strokes. With a ball cap pulled low over her face and a skull bandana pulled over her mouth, she also completed a fierce look to match those of her compatriots. If only Meowth looked a little less like a cute mascot with his matching skull kerchief tied about his neck.

Misty, however, slipped in looking really no different than her usual self. She had on one of Ash's old baseball caps to hide her hair, but while her baggy clothes might have hidden most of her girlish figure, Ash didn't really see how it would fool anyone for long.

"Seriously, Misty?" said Ash exasperated and unable to hold in his disapproval any longer. At least Gary was less likely to be recognized. Misty didn't have that excuse. "That's hardly a disguise."

She flashed her pretty eyes at him, which only made Ash's expression sourer. She took her sweet time answering him too, busing herself with dropping a few more bags of provision in the corner.

"I thought you'd like how I incorporated your look into my style," Misty smirked at him.

"I shaved my head."

"Oh stop whining. It's a buzzcut," Jessie snapped. Ash chose to ignore her. Before Ash could complain some more, he was struck speechless as Misty pulled the hat off her head.

Her hair was blonde. She shook her head, her soft yellow hair now only reaching a little past her ears. It was a shaggy boyish look that was still cute but definitely meant to make her pass more for the boy she was pretending to be.

"That better?"

Her hands went subconsciously to her bare neck. Despite her casual words, Ash could sense the sacrifice in the gesture.

 _She did it for me,_  said a small hopeful thought in the back of his mind.

 _No, stupid,_  responded a meaner one,  _She did it for herself, for the mission. To protect herself. It's not about you._

Ash decided to trust the meaner thought.

"I told you, not blonde," Jessie moaned, stretching out from where she had her partners and set up in the far end of the wagon. "You make a terrible blonde. Darker colors would look better with your complexion."

"And I told you, Jessie, that I didn't care about that," Misty retorted smartly, shoving Ash's cap back over her head. Ash could still the bits of yellow bangs peeking out from under the brim. She had even dyed her eyebrows, something Ash hadn't noticed until now. Not even Ash had been that brazen in his disguise. Although he supposed that red eyebrows on a blonde would be kind of suspicious. It was already clear that Ash's hair was a dye job. Misty was trying to look natural.

He preferred her red hair, of course. It was part of what made Misty, Misty. But she didn't look bad with yellow hair. It brought out the green in her eyes in a different and yet, still beautiful way. Ash thought she looked pretty cute with the shaggy haircut, not that he'd ever say so. Instead, despite the opening she had given him for comment, Ash had simply stared- like an idiot. In fact, he was still staring. He couldn't really think of any way to recover- no helpful witticisms came his way. Not that Ash had ever really been known for his wit. That had always been more her department anyway.

Ash was rescued by the final entry into the wagon, a person Ash had not expected. Giovanni, disguised only in the causal clothing he had borrowed from Professor Elm, ducked inside. The others didn't react to his entrance as Ash had. Misty had chosen not to acknowledge him at all. Team Rocket, however, quickly moved over to give him the more comfortable space. Meowth even simpered out something about how happy he was that the boss was coming along.

"Why are you here?" Ash spat, once he had gotten feeling back in his face again.

"I asked to come along," Giovanni responded coolly.

"I don't want you here. Leave. Now."

Ash's words had more effect than even Ash suspected they would. The older man flinched, obviously thinking back to the last confrontation they had had.

Heedless of the tension between them, beyond the ordinary kind between estranged father and son, Misty had unfortunately decided to spare the former Team Rocket boss. She did so with great reluctance. And even when speaking on the other man's behalf, she didn't look in either's direction.

"He knows Mewtwo better than any of us. We all agreed that he should come along."

Ash rounded on Misty. "I didn't agree!"

"Well, Ash. You're one vote against all the rest of us. I'm not that thrilled with it either but he is the only one who can give us information on Mewtwo."

"He is not!" Ash spat out before he could stop himself.

Misty arched an eyebrow his way. "Oh? Who else then?"

Giovanni knew. He was looking pointedly Ash's way, clearly waiting to see how honest his son was willing to be. How much did Ash hate Giovanni coming along?

Ash violently wrestled with his own emotions. They were all tangled up in a desire to chase the man away and yet to also keep Mew's presence a secret. He only had to have a brief flash of the dream he had the night before to know that talking about Mew was not the answer. Much as he hated having Giovanni along, Ash couldn't disclose who could possibly have better information.

"No one," Ash muttered, sitting back down. "I just don't like it."

"Your objection is noted," said Giovanni, ignoring Ash's swift glare that followed his words. "I will be sure to stay as much out of the way as it possible for me to be."

That was probably the best he could hope for. Ash settled back down into his chosen spot just in time for the engine of the truck to rumble to life. A sharp three knocks sounded from the front cabin, giving Ash a start. He had no idea what to make from the sound, but thankfully Misty did. She reached forwards and responded with three sharp knocks of her own.

It was only then that Ash realized what it was supposed to mean.

_Are you ready?_

_Yes, we are._

And Ash supposed they were. With that, they finally lurched out of Elm's laboratory and started off, at long last, on their journey. Their journey towards Mewtwo.

* * *

To Be Continued…  
Please Read and Review!


	4. Blue Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash asked, "Aren't you scared?"  
> "Scared?" Gary had been staring absentmindedly towards the campfire. Perhaps daydreaming of a better dinner than the one that awaited them. "Scared about what?"  
> "You ran into Mewtwo before. It was the pokemon that attacked you in Viridian back then. Back when I found you… You used to tell me not to go looking for it."  
> "Well, yeah. Knowing you—what with you having dreams about it—I figured you would try to go searching for the damn thing eventually. You're kinda stupid like that." He had meant the barb playfully, Ash knew that. But it still stung.  
> "You didn't answer my question."  
> 

Time is relentless and undying  
And we can't move on 'til we stop looking back  
And I promise you I'm trying.  
-McKenna Breinholt

It wasn't long before Ash regretted getting into the wagon so much earlier than the others. His legs had already gone stiff, cramped up in this space as they were. Despite the cold rain drumming the outside of the tarp, the air underneath it was stale and unpleasantly warm. That, and they could feel every single rock and bump that the wagon wheels rolled over. One small twig crunching under the back wheels would send the whole group bouncing up and down painfully. The hay wasn't cushioned enough to brace their falls.

Even Ash's ability to lose himself in his own mind was challenged by the discomfort of the space. It wasn't for lack of trying. But after his head was knocked against the floor slabs by a small bump in the road for the third time, Ash decided it was probably not going to be possible.

Team Rocket had taken up talking amongst themselves for a while. Meowth pulled out a deck of cards. They played a couple of rounds of some classics: old maid, go fish, crazy eights until even the distraction of a card game lost its appeal. After an hour or two, their games had tapered off into soft snoring. Or rather loud, muffled snoring in Jessie's case.

Ash was jealous of their ability to sleep so soundly even while being knocked around like they were in here. Ash felt like a metal ball being rattled about a tin can. Although Ash supposed that, like him, Team Rocket had gotten used to getting their forty winks in wherever their bodies dropped.

Since Giovanni was hardly wanted on his son's side of their accommodations, he had taken up a place closer to where Team Rocket nestled. He leaned against the tarp covered wall, his eyes falling closed as soon as they had started off. But Ash knew better than to think the man was asleep. He was simply being true to his word and staying out of the way.

Just as Ash was giving up on rest, he suddenly noticed that Misty had crawled over to his side. She waited patiently, mistaking his half-lidded eyes as being closed. Unable to stand her sitting there and staring at him for long, Ash finally glanced over at her.

"What is it?" Ash whispered up at her.

"Do you have your pokedexter?"

"Yes. Why?"

Misty smiled sheepishly at him. "I can't fall asleep without music. Can I borrow it for a while?"

Misty had become rather well-acquainted with the functions of Ash's rare pokedexter during their childhood journeys. Not actually ever taking up the official mantle of pokemon trainer herself, Misty had never earned one. Not that she needed it. Whenever it was brought up, she would loudly announce how much more about pokemon she knew than Ash. She saw the pokedexter as a badly-needed handicap that Ash needed when the rest of the world actually went to pokemon educational schools.

Misty's family had been able to afford her education into pokemon at a very young age. They also had to, if she were to become the future gym leader that Cerulean expected her to be. Ash was just lucky he was able to sneak downstairs at night to watch pokemon matches late on TV without his mom noticing. Not that he hadn't often begged his mother to take him to those schools. He desperately wanted the years of experience that most trainers had before they even started off on their journeys. But his mom couldn't afford it, and she said he didn't need it. Although, if she'd seen how he bumbled his way through the first year of his pokemon journey, she might have rethought her opinion on those private schools.

A pokedexter was simply meant to supplement the knowledge of pokemon they, as trainers, were already supposed to have. Ash certainly did rely on it a bit too much when he was younger. It was the teacher he had never gotten from a fancy pokemon training school.

Despite Misty's haughty attitude about the pokedexter, she'd still borrow it from him all the time. To look up certain aspects of a water pokemon she was thinking of. To search the area features for any pokemon nearby she might be interested in hunting for. She borrowed it even more frequently when Ash had it upgraded in Johto. She loved to plug her headphones in and listen to the radio as they walked. He'd had a really hard time getting it back from her back then.

His current version of pokedexter couldn't play the radio anymore, but that was more due to radios being rather outdated now. Streaming music was the new thing, and Professor Oak and his team were sure to include such functionality in the latest versions.

Ash frowned. "Why don't you just use your phone?"

"Battery's dead," She clapped her hands together and gave Ash her biggest puppy dog stare. "Please, Ash. Just for a little while. Pretty please."

Ash let out a deep sigh. Misty's expression instantly brightened, knowing she'd finally worn him down. He rolled over, reaching into his front pocket to extract the slim pokedex.

"Here," Ash said, tossing it into her waiting hands. "Don't break it."

"Thank you. I won't."

Ash rolled back over to stare at the wall. But even this change of position wasn't helping him rest. After a few minutes, he rolled back over. Without even meaning to, his eyes rested on Misty again. She was curled up in the corner, earbuds in her ears, smiling and nodding along to the music with her eyes closed. A soft light started to glow from her pack. By the time Ash had noticed it, Misty was almost certainly asleep. Ash scooted closer and shook her by the shoulder- but nothing. The music was still puttering from her headphones but her breathing was deep.

Feeling a little guilty about it, but worrying that it could be something important, Ash reached into her bag to pull out her smartphone—fully charged. Ash smiled wryly at the green bar. It was just like her to take his pokedex even when her own device was available. Just like when they were kids. Although it was a lot harder to know when a CD player was out of power than a smartphone.

Her phone was unlocked, to Ash's surprise. He had only meant to see the quick notification display of who was calling, but the phone immediately went to her main screen. And there, tucked behind all the apps, was a picture of the three of them. Misty had chosen a picture of them as her backdrop. The sight made his heart skip a beat or two.

It was taken shortly after they had entered the Indigo League stadium for Ash's first big match. He remembered being so horribly nervous then. His smile was more of a grimace. Both Brock and Misty looked more far more comfortable, her arm draped over his shoulder and Brock sporting a playful victory sign. Ash knew now that they'd both worried about him more than they ever let on. The truth came out in time, during leagues where he was more prepared. They'd talk about that time, and how much less nervous for him they had become over the years. They knew he wasn't prepared back then, but they still wanted to support him the best way they could, staying optimistic and cheering him on with all their hearts. Ash smiled softly at the memory. He really had some great friends.

If they hadn't been there for him then, would he had even competed? Ash couldn't be sure. Even then, he had a habit of wanting to run away from unpleasant things. He had some confidence, but it'd been the sort of confidence that came from ignorance. It wasn't a lot and it was braced by the faith of his friends and pokemon. Without them, he would have been just a cardboard cut-out trying to hold back a breaking dam.

Misty had kept the picture all this time. And despite the pain looking at it had to cause her, she kept it as her backdrop. It caused him pain too, a sweet sort of pain. The ten-year-old boy in that picture grew up to be such a jerk.

He probably shouldn't have, but Ash found himself opening her picture gallery. Inside, there unfolded a life that had carried on without him in it. She didn't often take pictures of herself. Having three beautiful older sisters sporting extreme levels of vanity stole what little self-confidence she might have had without them. If she managed to pop into her own photographs, it seemed it was only to prove she had been there, at that location, with those people, around those pokemon. None of the photos focused centrally on her, even if that was all that Ash himself could focus on.

For him, time had passed quickly. He flashed through those four years in the span of a few breaths. There were moments of pain and loneliness; that's when things slowed down. He'd been pulled back towards home then, terrified of facing them all. But somehow, fate had intervened and his journey carried him far away again. Ash hadn't realized how long it had actually been until he stared at her photographs. There were so many stories in here that he hadn't been a part of. That used to be okay with him. But now, seeing her holding Gary's hand, Ash realized he had been kidding himself.

Gary was in here too. An interloper who'd pop into a few photographs, mugging for the camera. They liked to jump into photo booths, it was the only photos Gary seemed to be able to drag Misty into. At first, they were just friendly, then they were overly so—Gary touching her and Misty leaning into his embrace. Until finally, they kissed. Ash put his thumb over the faces in the photo as if he could erase the subjects by simply covering them up. So much for hoping that Misty and Gary hadn't actually been dating.

"Not the most gentlemanly behavior," a sudden voice interrupted, giving Ash a terrible start. Ash whirled about, surprised to find that not everyone had been asleep like he had thought. James was looking at him with a certain mix of amusement and disapproval on his face. "Pretty sure she wouldn't appreciate you snooping through her phone, Ash."

"I was just—I mean, it was unlocked and I—" His protests fell flat in his mouth. He quickly closed the phone and shoved it back into her backpack. He feared that James might have woken her, but Misty slept on, heedless of Ash's actions. Ash stared guiltily down at her sleeping face. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

"That's right. And you should apologize to her when she wakes up."

Once more, James had given him a start. Ash sent him a wide-eyed look. "What? She'd hate me!"

"Then you shouldn't have looked in the first place," James replied coolly. Ash quickly realized he didn't have a leg to stand on here. Under James' judging stare, Ash surrendered.

"You're right, of course. I'll talk to her when she wakes up… and apologize."

They sat in guilty silence for a bit. Until James decided to close the distance between them and scoot closer. He still kept a careful distance from Ash's sleeping pikachu. He knew better than to trust Pikachu would immediately tell friend from foe upon waking.

"Instead of creepily spying on her, you could just tell her your feelings."

Ash's face cracked. _Not this again!_

"No offense, James. But I'm not much in the mood for love advice from Team Rocket."

"Not necessarily love advice. She could turn you down flat."

Ash rolled his eyes. "Thanks for that."

"No seriously. I'm only suggesting it because well, it's clearly bothering you. I can see the way you look at her." He scooted closer still, coming close enough to touch. But James wasn't Gary or Brock. They weren't friends in that way. He wouldn't be offering a comforting hug or a playful slap on the back. He was simply going to sit close and leave a careful comfort of air between them.

Ash tried to stare at the floor and betray nothing else. He was really getting sick and tired of how easy it was for everyone to read his feelings. Everyone except Misty, of course. "You guys have been with each other since you were kids. It's only natural. Jessie and I even put bets on who would confess first… kinda forgot who I was pulling for though. It's been years. When you took off and left them all behind, well. Figured that was probably the end of it."

"I actually didn't like her… for a long time," Ash muttered, twisted his hands in his lap as he spoke. "When people would tease, it would make me so angry. She was just a friend and I didn't know why everyone kept trying to make things weird. And then—one day, I'm not sure when—things were different. Not all at once. Just bit by bit, I started to notice things that I didn't hate. Like how her hair was a nice color and how not many other girls I knew had hair like that. Then it was the way she'd walk, so tall, like how nothing bothered her. And then it was how she'd freak around bug pokemon. I always thought that was pretty funny. I liked—I liked to watch her. I found myself watching her more and more often. The more I tried to find things to dislike about her face or her way of speaking, the more everything just seemed to become less awful, more pleasant." Ash swallowed, his mouth feeling suddenly uncomfortably dry. His eyes darted around the wagon, suddenly anxious that he had been speaking too frankly and too loudly in the enclosed space. But no one else seemed to be stirring. Misty still slept with music playing in her ears. Jessie and Meowth snored loudly in the far corner. And even Giovanni had stooped a little forward in his sleep.

James smiled at him. "I guess I win the bet."

"Huh?"

"Well, you didn't confess to her but that was certainly a confession."

"What, no!" Ash felt his face growing hot. "I thought you said you didn't remember who bet on who."

"I lied," He pointed at his face playfully. "Team Rocket."

"I hate you."

"Aw, don't be like that. I promise I won't tell a soul."

"Except Jessie."

"Nah. I'll wait until it's more official. She wouldn't believe me, anyway."

Ash sighed, sinking into his knees. "I'm really bad at this whole letting her go thing."

"Well, letting her go would require you getting some conclusion. And you aren't going to get any of that unless you talk to her."

"You make it sound easy."

"It's not. Probably be one of the hardest things you'll ever do. But trust me, you won't start to feel better until you do." Ash peeked over at James suspiciously. He acknowledged Ash's glance. "Yeah, I've been in your place before."

Ash frowned, his eyes instantly zeroing in on the other redhead in the wagon. Jessie's head was thrown back in the throes of sleep, her snores echoing around the space. "Jessie?"

To James' credit, he laughed. "Pretty obvious, huh? Yeah. It was her."

Jessie was snoring so violently that Ash was finding it really difficult to see what James saw in her. There was even a bit of drool pooling at the corner of her mouth. Not exactly the picture of beauty. But then again, Ash hadn't thought Misty beautiful at first either.

"So… did she—?"

"Rejected me. Stone cold flat. Several times."

Ash looked at James incredulously. "Seriously?"

"Yup."

"Geezus… Why do you seem so okay with it?"

"I told you. Because you'll feel better, once she knows." James shuffled in his seat, his shoulder knocking against Ash's arm as he did so. Perhaps it was intentional. Perhaps not. Ash didn't look up from the floor. "Jessie knows and eventually we did start dating. It's not perfect. Off and on a lot. But we're honest with each other. You should be honest with Misty."

Easier said than done. Ash worried on his bottom lip. He could feel the warmth of Mew's presence rising in his chest again. She wouldn't say anything, but she was clearly agreeing with James' assessment.

"What Misty and I have… it could change if I tell her my feelings."

"The thing is, Ash, it already has changed. You can't ignore it by keeping your true feelings bottled up. It will eventually eat you up."

"She's dating Gary."

"Who?"

"Gary," Ash nodded his head towards the front cabin. "My other friend."

"Oh, spikey-haired guy?" James made a face. Ash had to admit that he liked the disapproval on James' face. "Too bad."

"So you see why I just can't—"

"You should still let her decide. Not going to lie, if she's in a relationship right now, she probably won't choose you. That's just the way it goes." Again, he knocked against Ash's arm. "But you should still tell her. Let her make the choice."

"I just don't know," Ash covered his face with his hands.

"Just sleep on it. You'll see. You'll feel much better once you tell her."

And with that, James left Ash. He went back to his corner and fell asleep far too easily. Ash was up for many hours after, staring at a spot in the ceiling and hating that he just couldn't do it.

Time would have passed easier if there were windows for Ash to look out of. Instead, he was forced to stare at nothing and feel only the roughness of the road they bounced over. He might have nodded off a few times. But with nothing to properly gauge the time (Misty still had his pokedexter hugged tight to her chest) he had no way of knowing for how long. Eventually, their speed seemed to slow. Ash could feel them turning down roads with more curves and bends; they were off the main roads, then. When they rolled to a stop at last, most of their party woke instantly. Giovanni had a hand on his pokebelt. Jessie had shot up with a surprising alacrity, yanking both Meowth and James awake with her. Ash could even spot Pikachu's bright eyes blinking in the dark. Only Misty remained still where she was curled up on the floor.

Ash crawled closer to her, protectively. If they were just about to be discovered, Ash wanted to be sure he stayed as close to Misty as possible. So that he could wake her. So that he could carry her if need be. If he had to run, Gary never said that he couldn't have anyone else running with him. And he thought his chances would be infinitely better with another fierce pokemon trainer at his side.

It turned out their worry was unfounded. Three sharp knocks against the cabin relaxed the group. This time, Ash was the one to knock back. His knocks were answered by Gary's head slipping through open ties of the tarp.

"Hey, how are you all doing?"

"Terrible. How are you?" Jessie snarked back. Gary only smiled.

"Good good. Look, we're at a truck stop. There's a store. I'm gonna get us something to eat. We should be coming to our first campsite in an hour. Think you all can hold on until then?" Before Jessie could reply in the negative, Gary continued with. "Good! Smell you later!"

As soon as Gary was gone, Jessie's tense anger deflated. She fell back onto the floor with a large moan.

"I seriously can't take much more of this."

"We just started, Jessie," said James. Jessie just waved him off.

"Shut up, James. Don't remind me."

Ash appraised their squabbling from a new perspective. He supposed it wasn't all that different from the way he and Misty used to talk to each other, back before this awkwardness had walled up between them. Maybe James was right. Maybe things had already changed and he just hadn't wanted to notice it.

Ash didn't watch them long. His gaze crossed path with that of Giovanni's, instantly killing his pleasant mood. Crossing both arms and legs, Ash about-faced and went back to staring at his blank spot on the tarp.

They weren't at the truck stop for long. Gary had tossed in a few snacks into the back before climbing back into the truck's cabin. The group poured over the small selection of multi-flavored potato chips and dry trail mix. It was a meager selection but more than enough to tide them over until the evening.

Although Ash was kinda wishing Gary had thought to grab them a few cans of soda pop or something. After the potato chips, his mouth was rather dry. He had a bottle of lukewarm water in his pack but Ash was really in the mood for something cold.

Misty eventually woke. Ash, who had saved some of the convenience store food for her, was eager to pass it to her. Perhaps a little too eager. She had barely wiped the sleep from her eyes before Ash was there, pushing a half-eaten bag of potato chips on her. To her credit, she took it with good humor. It wasn't until they had reached their campsite that evening that Ash got up the nerve to actually talk to her.

The truck had come to stop again. Gary popped in to give them the all clear. Team Rocket was quick to scramble for the exit. And before Misty could jump out of the wagon herself, Ash had caught her arm.

"Hang on a second, Mist."

"Hm? What is it?" She pulled an earbud out of her ear. Ash was still finding it near impossible to meet her eye. So instead, he focused on a spot just above her left shoulder.

"I… I—um… I accidentally looked at your phone."

Ash couldn't see the whole of her face. But from the corner of his eye, he spotted her lips dip into a frown.

"I hadn't meant to look. But I did. And you deserve to know. I apologize."

"I see…" She was hugging his pokedexter tight to her chest. Still, Ash couldn't bear to look her in the eye. "Did you see something you weren't supposed to?"

Ash felt his face go hot. "N—no. I just—I just looked at your photo gallery, I swear."

"Ah." Misty was silent. She was probably trying to remember what photos he had possibly come across, and whether she should be more furious with him or not. "Ash… I appreciate you telling me."

"Are you angry with me?"

"Yes, a little," She shrugged, then held the pokedex out for him. "Just don't do it again."

Ash grabbed the dexter without thinking about it. His hands brushed hers. He ignored the feeling, quickly pulling the device back and shoving it unceremoniously into his back pocket. "Yes, ma'am."

She arched an eyebrow at him but said nothing. Instead, after a pause, she asked, "Was that all you wanted to talk about?"

And once more Ash found himself in a moment. The tarp was hanging open but no one was coming in to interrupt. In his head, all Ash could see were the happy pictures Misty had with Gary; holding him and kissing him. It held his tongue down. Or at least, he thought it did.

Before Ash could stop it, Ash felt the familiar feeling of numbness taking over his mouth. Mew had stepped forward to speak when Ash had failed.

" **There is something else. Misty, I am deeply in love with-"**

He still had function over his hands. And it was these that he slapped over his own traitorous mouth. Ash had gone a brilliant shade of pink. His embarrassment wasn't the sole cause for the color change, he had also tried to suffocate himself to keep from spitting out the words that Mew thought he needed help saying. Luckily, or perhaps not quite so lucky, Misty didn't seem to pay attention to Ash's words. Instead, her eyes were fixed on Ash's face; specifically on his eyes that had suddenly switched from their familiar shade of brown to a bewitching shade of blue.

She was at a loss, touching at her own face. As if by gesturing to her own eyes she could find the words for what she had just witnessed. Just as suddenly as they had changed, Ash's eyes had melted back into brown. And then his strange behavior followed as if he were fighting with himself. It was alarming in a way that Misty couldn't even begin to articulate.

Ash misunderstood her reaction completely.

"These potato chips!" Ash spat out at last, desperately snatching up the bag of chips Misty had not yet finished. "I love them! Can I please have the rest?"

Misty nodded numbly.

"All… alright then. I'll just be… going."

Ash quickly scrambled out of the wagon, not even giving his legs a chance to adjust from sitting to standing. He stumbled out into the sunshine, fighting the strong urge to vomit.

_She knew. Mew had just blurted it out. She knew._

And Misty, she was left sitting in shock. Pikachu had observed the whole course of events at a distance. And now, as he pulled himself up to follow his master outside, he carefully watched Misty's face.

Misty had noticed him staring and quickly pulled herself together.

"Goodness, what was that about? Do you know, Pikachu?" She asked playfully scratching the pokemon under his chin.

" _Nope_ ," Pikachu replied, knowing full well that this particular human didn't understand. " _But it certainly couldn't have gone much worse._ "

* * *

That feeling she'd had, her nagging intuition that something had changed in Ash since he returned from his kidnapping: all her suspicions were suddenly and violently confirmed. And now that she had confirmation, Misty had absolutely no idea how to deal with it.

She was raging within herself, unable to sit still. While the others had struck out to make camp alongside this lonely stretch of road that Gary had settled upon, Misty had paced. She hid her anxiety under the guise of hunting for firewood. Anyone with a careful eye would have seen how often Misty stomped past a perfectly good piece of wood. She went around in circles, hardly noticing, finding it incredibly difficult to even focus on the path in front of her. Ash would have laughed at her if he had noticed how many tree branches she had walked into.

She had seen Ash's eyes change colors. That alone seemed such a small thing to be freaking out about. It wasn't just that. His posture and his voice had transformed too. He had straightened his usual casual slouch and his voice sounded as if someone had just ironed out all the wrinkles. It was as if in those few words he had become a completely different person.

And Misty had no idea how that could be possible. In a fitful web-search aided by the spotty wifi service they had out in the middle of nowhere, Misty had web MDed too many possibilities, all of them just as horrible as the first. She had heard of people having multiple personalities before. But how would that cause someone to change their eye color at will? Giovanni said that Ash had been tortured. Was it possible to be tortured into becoming two people? And yet, the eye color. Again, Misty couldn't explain away how magic seemed to be playing some weird sort of factor.

She'd seen Ash's eyes change color before when he was being hypnotized. It was a truly frightening experience, the empty shade his eyes had become. His pupils had dilated to a frightening depth and seemed to look right through Brock and herself. Ash hadn't really believed in hypnosis himself. He hadn't believed in ghosts or psychics, either. Or at least, he would always loudly proclaim that he didn't, right until they walked smack dab into one.

It was only after they discovered how easy he was to hypnotize that Ash started to come around. That and it seemed to happen to them ridiculously often. Brock had been hypnotized by a ghost pokemon to fall in love with a statue. Misty had nearly been kidnapped when she was hypnotized by a traveling sideshow. Could it be possible that this was yet another case of hypnosis?

But what pokemon could be performing the hypnosis?

Misty's mind flew to the only psychic antagonist she knew they were facing: Mewtwo. But she quickly dismissed that as being absurd. Mewtwo didn't know they were coming yet. And even if he did, he was thousands of miles away, way out of range. Even supposing he somehow simultaneously knew they were coming and were a threat, and supposing he could project his thoughts this far, what possible use could Mewtwo have for making Ash act a little out of the ordinary? Wouldn't he have made Ash violent or have simply caused the boy to fall unconscious? Or better yet, have Ash convince the rest of them to give up this journey?

Misty kicked a wayward acorn in frustration, watching it bounce away into the undergrowth. None of it made any sense. Just what in the world was going on?

The evening was growing cold. As she stood at the edge of the treeline, Misty could see how the low-hanging clouds settled on the horizon in a pinkish-blue haze. The summer had died away. Once they reached the mountain, they'd be well on their way through autumn. Misty didn't much look forward to the snow they'd inevitably encounter. This wasn't exactly the smartest time to be starting an expedition into the mountains, but they had little choice. Ash was spurred into action and they just had to hold on so they didn't get left behind.

Misty's eyes drifted back to where the others were. They were mostly arguing about the merits of setting up camp next to the road and closer to their getaway vehicle or further into the woods where they were least likely to be seen. Gary, of course, stood in the thick of the argument. Ash, however, sat away from the others. He had perched himself on a fallen log, muttering softly to the pikachu at his side.

A thought came to her. It wasn't exactly one she hadn't already considered; she'd tried to push it away because of what it implied. But now, after having witnessed a certain magic about Ash, she had a harder time disregarding it.

It was very possible that this had everything to do with Ash's duty as a Chosen One. Wasn't that usually the case whenever the strange or unexplained happened around him? Why couldn't it also be the case this time? Although admittedly, Misty had a hard time seeing what could possibly be needed from Ash in this instance. What did Ash need from Mewtwo? Or rather, what did Mewtwo need from the Chosen One?

Gary had broken away from the Team Rocket members to join Ash. Misty watched as the two greeted each other with far more warmth than she had seen between them in a while. At least since Ash had reached Elm's laboratory. They were smiling and talking, almost back to normal. Misty couldn't help but stare at Ash's face, willing for the change to happen again.

It didn't.

Eventually, Misty realized she should get back to the task she had only been pretending to do before. She abandoned the boys to their conversations and returned to her own troubled thoughts.

* * *

"That was a huge dick move!" Ash hissed, his anger making it difficult to keep his volume down. He had pulled back from the others, careful to keep from a repeat of what had occurred between him and Misty. He didn't need Mew blurting out his dark secrets to any other passerby. "How could you do that? I told you not to!"

" **I'm terribly sorry, Ash. You were exhibiting all the signs that you wanted to tell her those words. I only thought of helping you. I shouldn't have assumed."**

"You're right! You shouldn't have!"

" **In my defense—"**

"No, no defense!"

" **In my defense, I don't believe she fully comprehended what I was trying to say."**

"How could she have not understood. You said I am deeply in love—I mean, you only left out one word, Mew! She  _knew_ I wasn't talking about potato chips!"

" **Are you sure? I thought that was pretty convincing."**

Ash couldn't tell if Mew was being sarcastic or not. He realized though that it hardly mattered one way or the other. The damage was done. Now he just had to figure out how to avoid both Misty and Gary for the rest of their journey, until Mewtwo could kindly put him out of his misery.

" **I am sorry, Ash. I'm just… I get so frustrated seeing you struggling with this when I know I could help you."**

Ash let out a dry laugh. "No, Mew. You can't. You absolutely can't help me with this. You need to stay out of it."

" **You simply do not understand how it feels to be sitting in the sidelines to this."**  Mew continued, heedlessly, gripping Ash's own hair, a decidedly Ash-like gesture.  **"I can feel it causing you pain, distraction, anger; I feel it all. I want to just stay silent but it's almost physically painful. And I just can't help but think if I just told Misty** _ **how I felt**_ **, we could just put this all behind us."**

The sudden change of pronouns wasn't lost on either occupying soul. Ash didn't even try to fight for control as Mew quickly corrected her mistake.  _Slip of the tongue,_ she said breathlessly, eager to push the experience away. Except it wasn't. Ash was present for that moment just as much as Mew had been. In that split second, Ash had felt something slip. Just for a second, the two of them had briefly slid into one single being. He was both Ash and Mew for the passing of a breath, taking ownership of both Mew's frustration and his own. It felt just as uncomfortable as a swallowed hiccup; a trapped pocket in his chest, that for one brief moment, was too full.

Ash knew why Mew didn't want to talk about it. He had just been her for the briefest of moments. He could somehow understand her as perfectly as he understood himself. The experience was like a balm to his burning anger. He wasn't willing to let go of his anger completely. Ash still felt like he had been the injured party. But it was hard to stay furious at another being who had just very unexpectedly become himself. It was still possible to hate himself, of course. Just… more confusing.

Had Mew confessed out of concern for a friend she had seen struggling or was she already becoming him? And in that moment of their dual existence, had she taken the side of his thoughts that had wanted to take action?

He didn't dare dwell on speculation too long. After all, Ash wasn't sure how much his own thoughts were his own any longer. So instead, Ash dug his pokedex out of his back pocket.

On his journey, Ash had found many an evening where, when left with nothing better to do, Ash simply flipped through the entries on his pokedex. Ash wasn't a scholar by any means. He continually needed to be reminded about basic type match-ups. In his defense, who could really remember that fighting was weak to flying? That one didn't even make sense. So this habit was really the only way Ash could profess any sort of pokemon knowledge. He didn't learn through reading or studying. His grades from the mandatory years of public school certainly attest to that. He learned through action. By battling a pokemon, Ash seemed to intuitize a Pokémon's strength and weaknesses. And reviewing his Pokédex in the evening afterward, he could try to set in the knowledge he'd just acquired.

It shouldn't have surprised him. When he powered his Pokédex on, he was met with the familiar copy of his pokemon license, digitally acquired when he turned ten years old. It was stamped over in red with the words SUSPENSION: UNDER REVIEW.

Ash knew he couldn't have expected the League not to act. They simply couldn't remain neutral when a trainer had seemingly gone rogue against pokemon law enforcement, even if the league and White Ice were usually at odds. It was probably due to the League's egalitarian view of pokemon and humans, which White Ice certainly didn't share. Much as they wouldn't want to take action, it would be negligent of them to ignore the potential threat that Ash posed. His previous record would certainly work against him, too.

They wouldn't be able to expel Ash from the league without a thorough review. And for the review, they would need to apprehend him and seize his pokemon. Ash didn't intend for them to come anywhere near him. This suspension meant very little. He had already functioned well as a trainer under suspension before. Theoretically, suspended trainers weren't allowed to possess, battle or enter tournaments with pokemon. But it wasn't exactly like Ash planned to enter into any legitimate pokemon matches out here in the middle of nowhere.

Still, having the suspension tag back over his license gave him a twinge of pain. Unwanted memories of shame and guilt were tied with such an ugly boldfaced tag. He really wished he could manage to clear this up, if only for the sake of what was left of his pokemon career.

"And that's why I go with the paper license."

Ash started when a chocolate bar dropped heavily into his lap. He looked up into Gary's grinning face. "Happy birthday, buddy."

"Birthday?"

"Well, technically it was two weeks ago. Back when those Icy bastards still had you in their clutches. Still, you don't turn eighteen everyday." Gary plopped down on the log next to Ash, casually stretching out and taking up way more room than Ash would have liked. He pushed Gary's shoulder, not able to knock the interloper off his log but also not trying all that hard either. "Misty and your mom didn't want us to make a big deal about it. You know, with all that happened. Thought we should wait to celebrate once everything was back to normal. But I still figured, with how you were about birthdays, you could use some cheering up."

Ash clutched at the wrapped chocolate bar numbly. He didn't want to admit that he had completely forgotten about his own birthday. And now that he knew, Ash wasn't sure how to feel about it. He was eighteen. A couple of months ago, he would have been looking forward to this birthday. It would have officially earned him veteran status as a pokemon trainer and all the perks that came with such a title. And yet, now Ash just couldn't find it in himself to care.

Why care about pokemon trainer statuses when you literally have another ancient soul inhabiting your body and forcing you to go face down a cloned pokemon god? Becoming a veteran trainer felt about as hollow a gesture as the candy bar when you looked at it in context.

"Better eat that up quick. The others are just heating up a can of spaghetti-os for dinner. And I think Jessie has a serious sweet tooth. Saw her eying it earlier. She'll be wanting that if you don't."

"Thanks," Ash said, twirling the candy bar idly in his hands but showing no sign of unwrapping it any time soon. It wasn't that Ash was ungrateful, but he'd found it hard to feel anything but panic and anxiety lately. Ash tore his attention from the pity present to the man sitting at his side. There were many questions that Ash had been wanting to ask Gary, but either from accident or design, Ash had never gotten the chance to talk to him alone. Now was the perfect time. He had wanted to know how Gary had even been roped into this situation in the first place. How had he gotten hurt? But more pressing than them all was the status of his relationship with Misty. That was, of course, one question he couldn't ask. He wouldn't like the answer either way.

So instead, Ash asked, "Aren't you scared?"

"Scared?" Gary had been staring absentmindedly towards the campfire. Perhaps daydreaming of a better dinner than the one that awaited them. "Scared about what?"

"You ran into Mewtwo before. It was the pokemon that attacked you in Viridian back then. Back when I found you… You used to tell me not to go looking for it."

"Well, yeah. Knowing you—what with you having dreams about it—I figured you would try to go searching for the damn thing eventually. You're kinda stupid like that." He had meant the barb playfully, Ash knew that. But it still stung.

"You didn't answer my question."

"Oh well," Gary looked thoughtful for a moment. "Yeah, I guess so. A little. I'm definitely not looking forward to meeting it again. Although… I'd like to think I'm a bit stronger of a trainer now."

Ash smiled at that. Leaned back with his arms crossed, that cocky grin plastered across his face, was a young man that a younger Ash would have believed implicitly. Ash had no reason to doubt the confidence that Gary exuded on a daily basis. Endlessly irritating, but Ash had never questioned it. Until the day Ash had found the young man sprawled out on the Viridian Gym floor.

When Ash had shaken the boy awake, Gary came back to himself in a sudden violence. Grabbing onto Ash's tee, he'd pulled the smaller boy in. His grip was so hard and tight that it hurt. Gary's face and lips were completely bloodless as he trembled and shook his way through his harrowing encounter with the world's only evil pokemon. Ash would never forget that. Gary, at his lowest moment: a scene he had always hoped to relish in. But no, that memory chilled his blood.

With Mew's memories combined with his faulty own, Ash knew that there would be no taking Mewtwo on. They'd stand no better a chance than Gary had the first time he had tried. If they were going to get through to Mewtwo at all, it would have to be through words. That certainly wasn't Ash or Gary's strong suit.

"Besides," Gary continued, startling Ash out of his reverie. "We have a trump card."

Taking a moment to bask in Ash's confused stare, Gary then procured a familiar purple-capped pokeball from his jacket pocket. With one tap, he had enlarged it from its original marble size. Ash stared into his own reflection on its polished surface, a sudden thrill making his stomach take a frightened flip. Mew's influence, undoubtedly. After all, it was the very pokeball that had put Mew into the state she was in now.

"I thought I handed this over to Professor Oak," Ash said, gingerly taking it out of Gary's hands. It felt as loaded as a grenade, as though it could go off at any moment. With as little as Ash knew about it, it was probably best to air on the side of caution.

"You did. Gramps did some tests. This little guy," Gary tapped on the ball. "Probably the most powerful pokeball in the world."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. The magnets in this thing, Gramps said he hadn't seen anything like it. He thinks it could catch anything. One shot. Boom. Pokemon captured."

Gary grinned at him but Ash couldn't return the smile. His face felt frozen. He could barely stand touching the ball. How could such an object feel so completely wrong?

"Hey, I know that look." Gary knocked Ash lightly on the shoulder. "Come on. What's wrong? You aren't seriously going to feel guilty about it? You're not that much of a bleeding heart, are you?"

Ash didn't answer. Gary pressed on, giving his friend a small shake as if it might shake the stoicism from his face. "Ash, it's Mewtwo. The world's most evil pokemon. There's no telling if even normal pokeballs would work on such a powerful psychic pokemon. This is our only recourse." He grabbed onto the pokeball, squeezing Ash's hands underneath his own until it hurt. Ash winced but he didn't pull away. "This is our best chance."

"It feels… cruel. Not giving it a chance to fight back."

"If we give Mewtwo a chance to fight back, it'll kill us. You'll see, Ash." He gave Ash's hands around the pokeball one last shake. "You'll see that I'm right."

And with that, Gary left Ash alone. Ash didn't watch him leave, focused too hard on the powerful pokeball laid to his disposal. It gleamed darkly in the campfire light, a seductive glow. Ash clicked the button to minimize and then stuff the pokeball into his back pocket. He could only hope that when the time came, he would just forget to use it.

* * *

To Be Continued…  
Please Read and Review!


	5. Exposed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash didn't need Mew's warning. He had already reached forward to grab Misty's arm when Mew's consciousness stole control of his lips. "I was wrong. This isn't normal."  
> "You don't say!" Ash responded, not even thinking how Misty might perceive him answering himself. They had more pressing concerns at the moment.  
> "Run! Run, Ash!"

I'm sorry I ruined your birthday you had turned 18  
And the sunshine hit me and I was behaving strangely  
All the walls were melting and there were mermaids everywhere  
Hearts flew from my hands and I could see people's feelings  
-Florence + the Machine

 **E** veryone slept uncomfortably that night. An unexpected chill had snuck its way in during the early hours making their open-air camping suddenly a terrible idea. Although the group had packed sleeping bags, only Ash had a well-insulated bag. The rest were planning to resort to padding and unfortunately hadn't anticipated the dip in temperature.

This inevitably led to a freezingly cold morning full of Jessie's loud complaints directed towards anyone who dared to get too close. They had all huddled around the ashes of the campfire, trying to salvage a sort of breakfast from what was left of dinner. Nothing could be wasted and Gary was hesitant to open anything new when they still had some of the soggy pasta from last night. Ash gratefully sunk his teeth into the chocolate bar, more than happy to leave everyone else to swallow the cold noodles from last night.

Once they had all reluctantly filed back into the wagon, they set off. They traveled with far more promptness than the day before. Planning to make up time, Gary had said. This led to a more jarring and bumpy ride in the back. By some miracle, Ash had managed to nod off.

His easy way into sleep may have been due to Misty's blatantly obvious avoidance. The whole evening, Misty had sat far away from wherever Ash dared to be. And yet again, in the morning, she avoided eye contact and walked away before Ash could get up the nerve to wish her good morning. Ash had thought to say something to her once they had climbed into the wagon, but Misty had moved. She set herself up amidst the spot that Team Rocket had claimed the day before, forcing the trio to spread out and place themselves between her and Ash. This put Ash into a more sour mood than he would have been in normally. He cursed Mew and practically threw himself into a frustrated and fitful sleep.

The hours passed easier in unconsciousness. Ash had been lucky enough to escape his dreams. When he woke, he woke to the empty feeling of the truck motor no longer rumbling underneath him. He also heard a strange sound. A soft trilling sort of chant echoing outside the wagon's canvas.

Not yet willing to wake completely, Ash frowned and shuffled with his eyes closed towards the wall where the sound was more clear.

_Meeeeeeeewmewmewmeeeewmew. Mewmeeewmew. Mew. Mew._

The wordless string of sound slowly coalesced into a word. A single word stretched out to its full capacity in a mind-numbing chant. The sound gave Ash a sudden rush of shivery goosebumps. He was wide awake now, staring dumbly at the side of the wagon. When he sat up, he half expected the others to be as awake and frightened as he was. But when he turned, the others surprised him.

They were all completely indifferent. Jessie, who was currently seated closest to him, was absentmindedly picking at her nails, peeling off the skin of nail paint. She didn't even bother to look up when he sent a wild glance her way.

"Calm down, twerp. Just stopping for gas."

"What's that sound?"

"What's what sound?" She had, at last, stopped picking.

"That sound!" He swung his arm wide, brushing against the canvas. Ash could sense the other's eyes on him now. He ignored their curious looks, focusing entirely on Jessie. She had to hear it. Ash refused to believe he was the only one.

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Ash, what's wrong?" Misty finally decided to talk to him; right when he was at a confusing mix of his most angry and most frightened. She crawled over to their side, eyes wide with concern. Her cold shoulder treatment over the last few hours made it fairly difficult for Ash to want to talk to her at all, even now. However, fear forced him to set aside his own pride.

"I want to know what sound that is!"

"Ash, what sound are you talking about?"

"How can none of you hear it?"

"Can you describe it? What does it sound like?"

Ash wasn't sure how that could possibly help. If they couldn't hear the phantom sound, describing it would only frighten them as much as it frightened him. He shook his head and Misty was forced to try to guess from the sounds that she could actually hear.

"Is it the cars going by? The people talking outside?"

"There are people? What are they saying?"

"Um… I don't know," Misty leaned back, taking a moment to listen. "It's not that clear. I can't hear any specific words but it sounds like normal conversation. Did you hear them say something? Did something they said upset you?"

Ash shook his head again. That couldn't be it. He wasn't zeroing in on a specific conversation and he certainly didn't think his hearing had reached a supersonic level. But still, it was there, ever present and ever needling. It almost seemed singsongy, how the voices continued to mockingly chant the word.

_Mewmewmew. Mewmew. Mew._

Ash covered his ears and tried to concentrate- pushing the sound away. He wanted to reach the one consciousness that might have been able to tell what was happening. She had fallen away deep inside and Ash couldn't seem to reach her to pull her back out. He kept sweeping out his thoughts but coming up empty.

Something then fell heavily against the canvas tarp turning all the eyes upward. Light footsteps padded their way across the tarp. Ash could just make out the shadow of what seemed to be a pokemon.

_It's Mew. It's Mew. Mew mew. It's Mew. Help Mew. Help help. Mewmewmew._

Ash shivered, shrinking back down as low as he could get. Misty noticed his reaction.

"Ash? Is that it? Is that the sound?"

"What is it?"

"It's a pidgey." Ash blinked and looked up at her. Misty smiled and kindly touched his arm. "It's just a pidgey, Ash. Nothing to be frightened of."

"I- I don't understand."

" _You can understand Pokemon now, Pikapi,"_ Pikachu said softly from his other side. Ash whirled about, suddenly taking notice of his pokemon. Pikachu had just woken, probably from all the noise Ash had been making. He stretched out from his little bed of hay and gave a long yawn before continuing. _"You're hearing the pidgey's call."_

"What? Why are they-" Ash stopped himself short, mindful of the other eyes still on him. Thankfully Pikachu spared him from having to finish his sentence.

Pikachu's ears twitched. _"I'm… I'm not sure. It's odd."_

"Do pidgey usually-"

" _Not that I know of."_

Ash couldn't calm the others back down after his outburst. He now knew the source of the sound but could do little to stop it from upsetting him. Nor could he fully understand why it was happening. Ash had to work extra hard to reassure Misty that he was fine. She could tell better than anyone that he still wasn't.

Eventually, when he could hardly stand it anymore, both the chanting in his ears and the other's still persistent concern, Ash did something he knew he shouldn't have.

Ash ripped back the canvas ties and jumped out of the wagon. He didn't bother to look either way before leaping out boldly into the daylight. He spotted Gary a little ways off, talking to a stranger by one of the gas pumps. He was given a start by Ash's sudden appearance, cutting off the conversation and quickly heading Ash's way. Ash ignored him, decidedly heading off in the opposite direction.

The gas station was small and backed up to a thick woods still full of autumn splendor. Ash marched straight into it, tossing up muddy leaves as he stumbled across the lawn.

Misty unintentionally gave Ash more time and distance. She had jumped out after him, catching up to Gary as he passed. While she relayed to him the situation in short breathless sentences, Ash gained the distance he needed.

"Mew!" Ash hissed out into the trees, digging down deep inside to pry her free. "Mew, talk to me. I need you!"

At long last, Ash finally felt something. The familiar warmth rose in his chest, settling comfortably into the sidelines of his conscious thought. She didn't need to say anything. Ash could feel that she was now awake.

"Pokemon are calling you. They keep calling your name. Why are they calling for you, Mew? Why are they calling for you- over and over and over again? God, I can hear them even over here. It's driving me crazy, Mew. Make it stop!"

Mew lifted herself up out of her quiet co-seat with all the grace and speed of an eighty-year-old grandmother. The sudden and heavy exhaustion that sank into his body as she took over brought with it a surge of guilt from Ash's own consciousness. She was not well and she continued to not be well.

" **The pidgey? Yes, I hear them too."**

"Please, Mew. Why are they calling for you?"

" **They sense me,"** Mew sighed.  **"They are crying out. Mis- ...My mother's reach is felt long and wide, pulling pokemon into a conflict they naturally want no part of. They call out to me for guidance… The pidgey are but babies. Did their simple cries frighten you, Ash? I'm sorry. I would try to soothe them but we no longer speak their language."**

"You can't speak to them?"

" **No. Not any longer."** Ash could hear both the deep weariness and sorrow in her words. She was losing more and more of herself to Ash. He could feel her slipping away like grains of sand between his fingers.

It didn't take long for the others to catch up. Ash could hear their footsteps crunching in the leaves as they ran up behind him. When Ash turned to meet them, he was surprised to only find Misty there. The look of concern on her face was starting to seem permanently etched there, at least whenever she was with Ash.

"Hey, are you alright? You… you kinda just ran off on us."

"Yeah. Sorry." Ash glanced back towards the truck. He could just spy Gary leaning against the bumper, watching them. Misty must have told him to hang back. Ash didn't know how to feel about that. "Just needed to get some air."

"What happened?"

Ash frowned. He still hadn't come up with any sort of explanation for them. And unfortunately, he couldn't just keep running away to avoid answering. He settled on the semi-truth. "It was a waking nightmare. I must have been… having a hallucination, the hearing kind of hallucination or something. It… frightened me. I'm sorry if I frightened you all."

"You did," Misty admitted softly. She touched his arm, ever so gingerly. Ash had been expecting the gesture and didn't flinch for once. "You've been through a lot. We understand. We're all here for you."

Ash couldn't keep the wry smile from his face. "And that's part of the problem." He sighed as he pulled away from her, pushing the hair back from his face with one hand; an exasperated gesture. "You guys are all being way too nice to me. You don't need to do that. I won't break if you just… treat me like normal."

Misty looked a bit taken aback. She bit her lip and turned to stare hard at a nearby tree stump. Ash would have had to have been blind to miss the obvious hurt that flashed in her eyes. She didn't let the silence hang between them long. "Alright. Like normal?"

"Yes, please."

"Okay," She smiled. "We'll try. If that's what you need, Ash."

"It's what I want."

"Alright then."

Misty had turned back; possibly intending to lead their way back to the truck. But she was startled by a sudden rush of feathers. She stumbled back into Ash just as a small pidgey alighted on the ground of them.

 _"Mew? Mew?"_  The bird said cocking its head up at them.

Misty laughed as she clutched at her chest. "Geez, that scared me. Thought it was a bug."

"No. Just one creepy little bird."

It flapped its wings and spat out another string of "mew, mew" before a second alighted a few feet away from the first. And then a third and a fourth, until before they knew it, the two humans were encircled by a small army of pidgey. Misty couldn't hear their cries but even she started to notice something off about the way they were chirping. It had become almost mechanical- the tiny birds gnashing their beaks up at the two of them.

Ash, who was privy to the pidgey's language, had gone from annoyance to abject horror in just a few strings of chirps. The eyes staring up at them were milky and glazed over, blinking far too rapidly. They had all stopped chirping for Mew and were now very clearly hissing in a more sinister way.  _"Not Mew. It's not-Mew. Get rid of the not-Mew."_

Ash didn't need Mew's warning. He had already reached forward to grab Misty's arm when Mew's consciousness stole control of his lips.  **"I was wrong. This isn't normal."**

"You don't say!" Ash responded, not even thinking how Misty might perceive him answering himself. They had more pressing concerns at the moment.  
**  
"Run! Run, Ash!"**

He stumbled backward, nearly taking Misty down with him. The leaves under their feet were damp and sleek and didn't make for the best traction underfoot. Ash caught the barest glimpse of Gary running towards them, shouting orders while ripping a pokeball from his belt. Ash thought he might have seen a flash of yellow beside Gary's feet. Pikachu was coming too. But they'd be too late.

Misty had tried to be brave. She had unsheathed her own pokeball for the incoming fight. But Ash knew better than to fight. They'd be overwhelmed long before they could get a proper pokemon battle going. And then those pidgey would soon pick their Pokémon's bones clean along with the two humans they had decided to hate. Ash had grabbed her pokeball throwing arm and yanked her after him. She protested but only weakly. Her false bravado was very easy to quell.

The two dashed through the woods, only just dodging out of the way of trees that appeared suddenly in their path. It was lucky that the woods were thicker here as the swarm of birds couldn't get high enough to gain on them. Ash weaved them around various trees, hoping the zig and zagging pattern would be hard for the pidgey to follow. It worked, sort of. Their real problem was that there were just too many of the damn pokemon.

A sharp stitch was starting to form in Ash's chest. It was hard to gulp down the cold air. It wasn't long before both humans were sniffling from steaming noses and gasping from their mouths. The sudden increase in activity may have raised their body temperature but it didn't make the exercise any easier on them.

As they were running, it did occur to Ash what was happening. These pidgey, they were clearly being controlled. And he had a suspicion of who was doing it. Or rather, Mew did. His and her thoughts became one while Ash was theorizing, coming to one alarming conclusion. All the pokemon attacks that had been happening; Mew had warned that her mother was the cause. Now Ash could clearly see that her mother was far more involved than he had ever supposed.

These were baby pidgey, for heaven's sake. Not the more aggressive and territorial spearow. Their instincts would urge them to fly from danger not enter into attack formation and swan dive after humans. Just what kind of pokemon could control a whole swarm of pokemon into acting so far outside their own characters?

 _A powerful one_ , Mew's own thoughts answered.  _More powerful than you could ever imagine._  
  
Ash had been taking the lead, only dropping off when he suspected the pokemon were coming too close. He yanked off his jacket to cover the more vulnerable spots of his head and neck. Ash shielded Misty with his body as best as he could. If Misty had a better presence of mind, she might have tried to prevent him from taking all the hits. But being wildly frightened, she was only just able to keep running forward. Ash would have been the same, (this was way outside his pokemon training experience), if not for the comforting feeling of Mew curled up inside his chest. He had her and Ash knew, she wouldn't stand down this time. No matter the cost, Mew was going to help keep them both alive.

They couldn't keep this up forever. Ash knew it wouldn't be long before they were forced to turn and fight. And that time came far sooner than even Ash expected. A pidgey had somehow broken off from the mass and headed them off- bulleting through the trees, narrowly missing Misty and crushing itself on the ground just feet away. The damage of its sacrifice had been done though. It had clawed at Misty in passing, slicing at the girl's arm. Misty screamed, grabbed at her bleeding arm and stumbled, and Ash crashed straight into her.

They fell hard onto the leafy earth. Ash didn't even have time to properly assess the situation; of how Misty was beneath him. He saw the blood squeezing out between her fingers. Noticed how pale her skin was neath the messy sweaty strands of blond hair that stuck to her face. His eyes met her own and for two breaths he held her gaze. Two short breaths. That's all the time he allowed himself.

Then, not even entirely sure if it would work, Ash threw himself over her. He hugged Misty tight to his chest, hoping to shield her body as best he could in case the worst should happen.

"Mew! Do it now!" Ash shouted.

Mew answered immediately. He felt the warmth blossom in his chest and then spread out through the rest of his body. He felt the heat everywhere, on his legs, the back of his arms, his cheeks and even his eyes. Ash squeezed his eyes shut, willing the unpleasantness to pass. His body shook as something lifted out of himself. He felt it peel away but only Misty watched the glow that had encased them both. Misty was sole witness to the solid pink bubble that had formed.

The pidgey had dived but the translucent barrier held strong. They smashed themselves into it, many dying upon impact. But no matter how many or how forceful their attack, Ash's psychic barrier withstood the assault. Only when the last of the pidgey had crumbled to the ground did the barrier splinter and break apart at last. With the barrier down, Ash had sagged against her. Misty had thought he had felt the danger pass. It was only when she had pushed at his shoulder that his dead weight told her he had fallen unconscious.

Somehow, Misty wiggled her way out from underneath him. It was considerably more difficult trying to revive the unconscious teenager. Keeping the mass pidgey horde from killing them had obviously left him spent. She lightly slapped his cheeks and even summoned her pokemon for a splash of water. Ash refused to wake.

Misty couldn't leave him. She knew the others surely had to be looking for them. But stretching in both directions, Misty could only see the woods they had been running through. She had no idea which way they had come from. And she knew better than to run around aimlessly, especially when she might risk losing sight of Ash in the process.

Not to mention that Misty had no way of knowing how many other crazed mobs of pokemon were out here in the forest with them.

She attended to her injured arm, returned her pokemon and then came back to Ash.

"Come on, Ash," Misty tried again, huffing as she hefted the young man upright against a nearby overturned log. "Come on, wake up. We need to find the others."

She had been just about to resort to calling out Togetic to send for help when someone suddenly grabbed her wrist. Misty was given a start, relieved at a sign that the young man was finally waking up. But her happiness quickly melted away when Ash's eyes fluttered open and a pair of pale blue eyes met her own.

"You're not Ash," Misty hissed, prying her hand free from his weaker grip.

" **You're right. I'm not."**  The cadence was all wrong coming from his lips. His voice was softer, more feminine. Misty likened it to wet clay, with all the creases smoothed out. She hated it.

Misty ripped golduck's pokeball from her belt. She didn't unleash it, just held it out threateningly; making sure this thing could see it through Ash's stolen eyes. "Who are you?"

" **It's not for me to say."**

"Mew? Ash called you Mew."

Ash, or rather the-thing-that-was-in-no-way Ash, sighed. It made the voice it had stolen sound so tired. Misty might have felt sorry for it if she wasn't fully conscious of the fact that the parasitic entity was currently using her best friend as a human host.  **"In a manner of speaking. Yes. I was Mew."**

"You aren't anymore?"

" **I am rapidly starting to feel quite unlike myself."**

Misty didn't share in the creature's humor. She didn't like the way it was twisting Ash's face into smiles that it had no right to.

"Stop that."

" **Sorry."** Misty had thought she would have had to explain her discomfort but Mew seemed to intuitively sense the cause. It dropped the stolen smile from Ash's face.

"Look… Just tell me. Why are you in Ash's body? What did you do to Ash?"

Curiously, Mew looked appropriately alarmed at the accusation. But yet, it did not immediately leap to its own defense. Instead, it went straight to reassuring her of Ash's safety.

" **Ash is well,"**  Mew said.  **"He is only unconscious because the strain on his body was great. His form was not meant to host the power that is now at his disposal. He will wake in a few hours time… with a headache, I suspect. But none the worse for wear."**

"Why are you here?"

" **Because the power was mine. And Ash forced me to use it. It has consequently brought me to the forefront of his consciousness."**  Mew didn't give Misty long to process that bit of information before continuing,  **"I had every intention of continuing to play dead but I can tell you need help getting Ash's body back to your friends. His body would be too heavy a burden on you alone."**

Misty didn't know how to feel about the creature's seemingly altruistic intentions. She had heard of Mews before. Some wisp of memory seemed to come to mind, something about only appearing to the pure-hearted, possibly granting wishes. She had never heard anything about Mew's being body snatchers. Misty kept her pokeball tight at hand even as she helped the creature to Ash's feet.

" **Thank you."**

"I still don't trust you."

" **That's fine. Let my actions speak for me."**

They had only walked a few paces when Mew had stopped short. It stared down at the mass of avian corpses that had formed a sad ring around where they had fallen. Misty could not stare down at the disjointed and broken bodies without choking on her own stomach fluids. So she watched Mew instead, unnerved by the serenity it had commanded of Ash's own form. His face was smooth but his eyes shone. It didn't brush away the tears. That was too human a gesture. Tears just fell in the pokemon world; like rain.

" **I regret that it came to this. Their minds were not their own."**

"What was wrong with them?"

Mew shot Misty a look, sizing her up. Possibly trying to decide how much was too much to tell. It must have seen something there to reassure itself because it continued,  **"They were being possessed by a powerful pokemon. One that Ash and I intend to stop."**

"Mewtwo," Misty nodded in sudden understanding. She was surprised when Mew vigorously shook Ash's head.

" **No. Not Mewtwo."**

"Who then?"

Mew frowned. She carefully stepped around the pokemon corpses, only sparing one last respectful wayward glance before saying,  **"I cannot say. To speak her name would be to summon her. We've already had enough of her today and I'm not sure how well we'd fair in a second round."**

They were silent for a long moment. Not out of any lack of anything to say. Misty had questions practically burning on her tongue. But Mew's stolen countenance was so solemn it demanded a respectful silence that Misty couldn't help but reluctantly give. She had never seen Ash looking so serious and serene in grief. Even if she hadn't seen everything she had already seen, this expression on Ash's face would have convinced her that he was hosting something alien inside.

" **This is going to seem… absurdly** _ **human**_ **of me,"** Mew said, at last, tugging free a pokeball awkwardly from Ash's belt.  **"But I don't want to leave them to be eaten by predators."**

Misty said nothing. But she watched closely as Mew attempted to summon a pokemon. It must have been strange for it, having never been in this human role before. It fumbled with the ball and instead of the strong toss that Ash would have done, it let the ball just fall from Ash's hand.

It was a good thing that Misty had quick reflexes. She was able to grab Ash's sweatshirt and pull him out of the way of the red beam. Mew had almost materialized a giant dragon right on top of Ash.

"Watch it!" Misty hissed.

" **Ah. My mistake."**

 _If you get Ash killed, I swear…_  She didn't say it out loud, much as she wanted to. Misty just huffed and quickly stepped back away from him. The sentiment probably went without saying.

Charizard exploded from the pokeball with an ear-splitting roar. Just as intimidating as ever. Mew was evidently not as comfortable around Ash's pokemon as Ash was. It fell back alongside Misty, clearly not expecting Charizard's massive size. And Charizard only had to take one sidelong look into his master's eyes to know that something was off.

" _You are not the little one,"_  Charizard said silently.

Mew made Ash's head nod mutely in response.

" _Who are you?"_

" **A friend."**

" _That remains to be seen."_

"I just realized," Misty piped up, interrupting the tense conversation carrying on without her. "You're the reason Ash can understand Pikachu- the reason he can understand all pokemon now... Aren't you?"

Mew sighed but couldn't help the small smile that slipped across Ash's lips.  **"Yes. Sharing my consciousness with him awakened that ability. Although, he'll have a much easier time conversing with pokemon accustomed to human speech as he does not have the ability to speak back in anything other than English."**

"Shouldn't he be able to? I mean… if you were able to."

" **Perhaps he should. But my presence only influences him so much. He has more power in our symbiotic relationship."**

Misty cracked a smile that Mew couldn't help noticing.  **"What?"**

"You just said symbiotic. With Ash's mouth," She snorted back a laugh. "How the hell haven't we all found you out yet?"

" **I try to let Ash do all the talking."**

Charizard listened far more patiently than most would have given a giant fire breathing dragon credit for. He observed everything with careful eyes, assessing and evaluating the situation. It became a necessary habit as one of Ash's main "last resort" pokemon. He was well versed in absorbing what was happening around him and then responding accordingly.

In this case, the human conversation was more than enough for Charizard to piece together a semi-cohesive understanding of what had happened. He didn't need to know the why or how, simply the what and the what now. Ash was playing host to something, that much Charizard could surmise. Alarmingly there were a large number of pidgey corpses ringed around them. And Misty, though obviously agitated, was not displaying any visual signs of distress or hostility towards what had changed Ash.

In mere seconds, Charizard had more than enough information to satisfy himself. He noisily flapped his wings, tossing the air and kicking up leaves just to draw the humans' attention back towards himself.

" _What did you want?"_  Charizard growled at the Ash imposter.  _"Why summon me?"_

Ash, or the thing wearing Ash, looked uncharacteristically sheepish. He tried to look up at Charizard but it was as if he didn't know where to look. He shied away from eyes and seemed to instinctively know that would be a faux pas to focus his gaze on the dragon's stomach, even though it was at a more comfortable eye level. Instead, he settled Ash's gaze on somewhere up Charizard's slender neck. It would have to do.

" **I wish your help in cremating the remains of these poor children,"**  Ash gestured towards the crumpled bodies. The anxiety tight in his stolen body clearly spoke that he expected some sort of protest on Charizard's end. He didn't know the dragon very well and his assumption rubbed Charizard the wrong way. He wasn't just evolved yesterday. He'd follow a command from his master, no matter who was behind the pilot seat.

It made things simpler that way.

Charizard immediately stepped forward, scattering the humans like scuttering insects. Neither had expected his ready compliance. Misty had immediately moved forward, trying to attempt some last minute fire control. She shuffled about in the leaves, making sure the fire wouldn't spread. Ash helped her, dumping leaves and kindling over the bodies to make a sort of pyre. Charizard humored the humans by scratching about in the dirt himself. He knew his own flame though. He could control himself.

Once they had decided they were ready, whatever was controlling Ash issued the command. He did it well enough, though lacking all the gravity and confidence of a seasoned trainer. Charizard felt oddly nostalgic. It was as if he were being bossed around by a clumsy ten-year-old trainer again.

The bodies went up easily, tossing up more smoke than flames. Charizard was thorough, making sure to blast each makeshift pyre with the right amount of fire. He stepped back pretty satisfied with his work. The humans similarly marveled at the arc of flames. They were hypnotized by it. Not-Ash only tore his gaze away to attempt to return Charizard to his pokeball.

But before he could issue the command, Charizard made sure to growl out,  _"Don't make a habit of this, Blue."_

" **Understood,"** Not-Ash nodded.

Charizard disappeared in a flash of red light pulling Misty's attention away from piling smoke. She hoped that maybe the little funeral pyre would serve the double purpose of not only sending the pokemon off but also alerting the others to where they were. Misty wondered if that had been Mew's plan as well. But seeing how it fumbled to fasten Charizard's pokeball back to Ash's belt, she was starting to doubt it.

"You're hopeless," Misty sighed, finally stepping forward to snap the pokeball back into place herself. Mew looked up with its stolen face and smiled at her. Misty still couldn't find it in herself to forgive it just yet. As soon as the pokeball was secure, Misty backed away.

"Let's get going. At this rate, we'll be losing daylight."

She had meant to start marching off in any direction. She hadn't really known where they were going, hoping that Mew would course correct them along the way. But the pokemon surprised her yet again.

With reflexes that Misty wasn't entirely sure were all Ash's own, Mew caught Misty's wrist. She cringed, the sudden brush of skin and clothing bringing pain to her hastily bandaged arm. Misty knew Mew saw that and hated that it noticed.

" **I can fix that,"** Mew said softly, not looking Misty in the eye. Somehow it still seemed to know Misty's feelings and was doing everything in its power to project inoffensiveness. Its stance, the lack of eye contact, its level and soft control over Ash's voice was intentionally meant; screaming _I am not a threat._  Well, Misty wasn't too sure. Mew was doing too good of a job trying to convince her otherwise.

"I'm not sure I trust you."

" **Do you trust Ash?"**

"Yes." Misty could have cursed herself for how quickly she had responded. She really didn't need this creature to understand her relationship with Ash better than she did herself.

" **I'm not sure this will reassure you,"** Mew finally met Misty's eyes.  **"Ash and I are slowly becoming one person. I will not be able to hurt someone he cares for so deeply."**

 _Cares for… deeply?_  Misty's cheeks instantly colored. But she refused to let the interloping creature distract her from the task at hand. She pulled herself from Ash's grip. "You're right... It doesn't reassure me."

" **It would take but a moment."**

"Fine," Misty huffed, unable to stand the look Mew was giving her with Ash's face. "But if I start spouting fur, I'm punching you in the face."

Mew wisely said nothing. With ginger hands, it took up Misty's arm once again and slowly pulled back her sleeve. Misty winced. Her dressing was shoddy; the bandages she had used already peeling away from the open wound. She was never that good at first aid, despite all the practice that Ash had given her over the years. It was something about bandages; wrapping them securely was never one of her strengths.

Mew laid Ash's hands over the wound and closed his eyes. The pressure brought a little pain and then a sudden surge of warmth. Misty watched in wonder as a soft pink light peeked out from between Ash's fingers as if he had caught a fairy and held it flush against her skin. After a brief moment, Mew pulled back Ash's hands. Misty eagerly unraveled the bandages from her arm revealing the now unbroken skin. Nothing, not even a pink irritation from where the gash used to be. It was completely healed.

"How did you do that?" Misty asked.

Mew shrugged.  **"It's an ability all Mew's possess."**

"I know that. But how did you manage to make Ash do that? He's not a pokemon."

Mew frowned. It suddenly seemed extremely interested in the path forward. It began talking rather earnestly about the moss on trees to reference their direction. Misty didn't interrupt, simply taking note on what made the little pokemon nervous.

Once Mew decided upon a direction, they set off in an uncomfortable silence. Mew stayed too close at Misty's side, heedless of any human social protocol. Its discomfort in Ash's body was evident. It took strides too long and kept stumbling over Ash's own feet. Perhaps that is why it stayed so close to Misty's side, close enough to brush her arm. Close enough to hold hands like they used to.

An unwanted wash of nostalgia fell over her. Whenever they were lost as kids, whenever she was nervous or scared, whenever it was too dark to see their path or the fog had set in unexpectedly; Ash would grab up her hand in his own. He did it emotionlessly, without question. There was no love in the action. It was a duty. She was a girl, a friend. And Ash felt called upon to relay comfort when frightening things happened. Misty always wished it had meant something more.

Perhaps one day it did. On the day he stopped.

She longed for that familiar touch from Ash now. Her hands and fingers burned for it. She was terrified out of her mind; for Ash… because of Ash. The fear was a painful sharp thing, sticking to her lungs, heavy and horrible. It was just cruel that this happened to be the one time, the one time she was at her most scared, that Ash couldn't help her. Lost behind his own eyes, there was no way he could see her shoulders shake. And if Mew noticed, it did nothing to act upon it.

Rain started pittering in from the treetops. Misty felt a drop or two on her head.

 _Perfect, just what we needed,_ Misty thought grumpily. That was when Misty noticed that Mew had stopped following.

It had stopped and turned Ash's head up to the sky, catching the raindrops on his face. For a moment, Misty just stared. Mew was a perplexing creature but surely even it had witnessed rain before. It really wasn't that novel a phenomenon, especially in the natural pokemon world.

Ash's eyes were closed. But they had begun to flutter. He swayed unsteadily on the spot. It was only then that Misty realized what was actually going on. She rushed forward, only just catching Ash before he collapsed heavily into her arms.

Mew wasn't stopping to appreciate the rain. Ash was waking up.

He wasn't ten years old anymore. His dead weight against her toppled them both to the forest floor. She had managed to lessen his fall, hugging his sagging upper body to her chest as their legs both buckled underneath them.

When Ash's eyes finally opened, they were their familiar comforting brown. Misty blinked back the burning in her eyes. This was no time to fall apart, even if it was because she was just so relieved. It wasn't until this moment that Misty realized she had a very real and tangible fear that Ash might not ever return to himself.

"M-mist?" Ash said groggily, reaching up to brace his fevered forehead. "What happened? Where are we?"

"We're in the woods. You saved us from those pidgey and then-" Misty bit her tongue. "And then… and then…" Staring into his face, Misty couldn't bring herself to say it. There was something oddly exposing about this other side of Ash. He had kept it from them. And she had a feeling that could he have prevented it, he would have continued to keep it from them.

" _You guys are all being way too nice to me. You don't need to do that. I won't break if you just… treat me like normal."  
_

Normal, was it? Yes, well, playing host to Mew was probably as far from normal as you could possibly get. Who was she to steal his normalcy from him?

"And then you passed out."

Ash's eyes were regaining their clarity, their life. The realization of what had to have transpired, what Misty must have witnessed, dawned on him. He looked considerably pale as he shook himself free from her arms.

"...And how did I save us?"

Misty avoided his probing stare. "Oh, I don't know. I think I blacked out. B-but when I woke up, the pidgey were gone. You must have used Charizard, right?"

Ash cracked a smile. "Against pidgey?"

"It was  _a lot_  of pidgey."

He might have suspected something. And maybe he could have weaseled the truth out of her if they had more time alone. Misty wasn't doing that good a job of keeping her composure. She couldn't bear to look him in the eyes; so certain he could read the truth there. But maybe it wasn't just that. Her lie was pretty flimsy. Ash probably remembered enough to know he had unleashed his powers in front of her. Ash was searching for her gaze. He had just about caught her eye… but then their rescue party interrupted.

Pikachu was the first through the trees, leaping gratefully into Ash's waiting arms. Gary and Giovanni followed, too breathless for many words. They had seen the smoke and come running. Thankfully the route they had taken had put both Misty and Ash right into their path. Misty supposed she had Mew to thank for that; not that she could even thank it anymore.

While Gary chastised Ash for leaving the wagon, the rest of the group fell in easy step behind them. Misty chimed in with a word or two when she was called upon for one. But beyond some hurried explanations for what happened to them and how they had escaped the pidgey, Misty had mostly managed to keep to herself. She fell into pace behind everyone else. Only Giovanni walked nearby, occasionally glancing back her way. He had a curious look in his eyes as if he suspected more had happened than she was letting on. Misty quickly dismissed the thought. There was no way Giovanni even remotely suspected what she had witnessed.

And what exactly was it that she witnessed? Misty wasn't even sure she could qualify it herself.

Ash had always had a way of attracting the strange and unnatural to him. This went a bit beyond the pale.

Another chosen one duty, Misty supposed. Host an unbelievably powerful pokemon in your body… but to what end? How did Mewtwo tie in?

There was only one person who could possibly supply those answers. And Misty suspected it wasn't Ash.

Ash felt Misty's gaze on the back of his head. But when he turned around to look at her, she had looked away.

* * *

To Be Continued…  
Please Read and Review!


	6. Claim Your Weapon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash stared down hard at the purple monstrosity. With a single press, it filled the span of his palm comfortably. It felt no different from any other pokeball. It would be so easy to just forget what it could do.  
> "I don't blame you, you know," Ash's mouth on its own accord, temporarily arrested by Mew's control. "Capturing Mewtwo would be the best way to ensure you and your friends' safety."  
> Ash gripped the pokeball harder. His hand was trembling as he answered, "Mew… how well do you know, Mewtwo? Is there any reason to believe… that he wouldn't hurt us? Or are you just assuming that he's changed?"  
> "I believe he has changed."  
> "That's not good enough!"

I'll take my bow  
I won't make a sound  
I whisper truce  
as the ashes hit the ground  
-Boy Epic

 **D** elia liked to think she could see the good in everyone. And that's probably what got her into this mess in the first place. She was  _too_ nice. Just because Johnny cared about his own pokemon didn't erase his disgusting views of them as pieces of property. It didn't change that he was due to grow up into a man who'd follow his grandmother's despicable footsteps. He would be handed the keys to a powerful organization that had nothing but darkness in its heart.

He was marrying into that darkness. That seeping dripping hate-filled mentality would inevitably swallow him. He couldn't just sit in its shallows and come away clean. They thought of pokemon as things to waste and consume. They cared little for the life of pokemon. They did horrible things, stuffing them into pokeballs and placing them on shelves for display. His family saw Pokemon as objects of wealth, like exotic creatures to host in a zoo. He grew up believing the same. It was only  _her_ that kept him second-guessing.

Sometimes— sometimes Delia thought she might be able to talk him out of it. There were moments. When he smiled at her, when he won a pokemon battle, when he looked after his pokemon- she thought she could see the good person hiding in him, despite all the circumstances.

In those moments, she saw her old friend.

But darkness became him. It was foolish to think otherwise.

He was a monster and would always be a monster.

But on the day she got her starter, her beloved Pikachu- he had been there. Later than everyone else. Her first day as a trainer had been a dizzying whirlwind of spectacle and festivity. She was the only young girl in town who had decided on getting her training license that year. That wasn't that unusual. In those days, girls were usually encouraged to stay away from training. It was a rough and tumble trade even then. Of course, her parents were some of those with that traditional mindset. Delia had to prove her worth, more so than the other boys. She had to be smarter and tougher than all the rest of them.

She came from a wealthy family and had never had her own house pokemon growing up. But she was smart and resourceful. She studied the whole year before her tenth birthday, researching her strategy. She knew the moment she had her starter in her arms, she'd be jumping off into the deep end. It would be a struggle to keep both of their heads above water.

On her first day, she selected a powerful electric starter: A pikachu that in time she could evolve into a raichu. She knew full well the danger in trying to train such an advanced type while inexperienced. But she also knew she had little choice. She wore as much nonconductive clothing as she could and introduced herself to her new pikachu. And in minutes, she was defending herself from several pokemon battles. The boys in her town had predictably seen her as an easy target. She set them straight.

Although a bit unruly, Pikachu had the type advantage to all the other starters. She wiped the floor with them and won Pikachu to her side. They bonded far quicker than even Delia suspected. This pikachu liked winning. So did Delia. Match made in heaven. Joules of energy;  _Joulie_ , Delia decided. That would be her name.

Delia had just finished off the last challenger. She and Joulie were panting; cheeks flushed from the exercise. When she heard the rush of footsteps on gravel, Delia turned expecting another boy- possibly here to tag team her with his defeated friend.

It  _was_ a boy. But he was evidently not friends with the other. Her opponent looked just as startled by the boy's entrance as she was. He stumbled up the gravel drive in his pinstriped blue pajamas, his face almost as red as Delia's under an unkempt mess of dark hair.

"No," He gasped out, looking between Delia's pikachu and her opponent's downed Charmander. "No, no, no! I'm not too late… I can't be!"

That was Delia's first introduction to John Giovanni. As he rushed through the tattered field that Delia and her Pikachu had scarred with their battles towards the sponsor's office. He fell into a few pokemon made divets. He'd scramble back out, muddy and only slightly more pathetic a sight than before.

Her opponent took far less interest in the proceedings. Grumbling about beginner's luck, he returned his pokemon and made to leave. Delia, however, decided to follow the latecomer.

Their town's sponsor happened to be Delia's aunt Cordelia. Unlike sponsors from other towns, she had no scientific background in pokemon. She was a breeder and could aptly provide new trainers any newly hatched pokemon they could possibly desire. Delia had placed a special order for a Pikachu long before the other trainers in town even had a notion to go for a pokemon license. It would be first come first serve for anyone without Delia's connections. And sure enough, as Delia kicked off her shoes in the front foyer, she could tell it was just as she suspected.

The boy sobbed openly as Cordelia tried to simultaneously scold and comfort him. It  _was_ his fault for being late. And nothing could be done to fix the mistake. He'd have to wait a year. A whole year behind all of his peers, Delia's heart went out to him. But, unlike her aunt, she had no sweet words to comfort him.

She and Joulie came up beside the boy. He stared at her and then at her inscrutable pikachu. Delia kept her tongue behind her teeth. After a tense moment, she tore her eyes away from the sorry sight. She asked her aunt for the present, the brand new set of poke balls that her father had bought her. Cordelia had been holding it until Delia was finished scrapping with the other village boys.

"Wait here."

Without another word to John, she marched her way back out. She made her way into the closest bit of wilderness she could find. And the first pokemon her pikachu and her brought back, she passed into Johnny's hands.

"Here," Delia smiled as she handed it over a few minutes later. "It's a Nidoran. Take good care of her."

He started crying harder, hugging the poke ball to his chest. His round face was pink and dark hair still a cute disheveled mess on top of his head. He rubbed at his eyes and said, "Yes, yes. I will. I will, thank you. Thank you."

"My name's Delia. What's yours?"

* * *

 **A** sh was standing in a familiar place. But he knew he was dreaming because he hadn't worn pajamas in years. He used to wear them all the time when he lived at home. His mom liked him to have clothes for every occasion. While traveling, Ash kept to three different shirts at the most. Maybe a single change of pants. And his jacket when he got cold. Packing light was a necessity, especially when traveling to the places he liked to go. The less baggage he carried with him, the better.

So he was in pajamas and he was shorter. At least Ash sensed he was shorter. The countertops certainly seemed a little more difficult to see over. As if they were made for the height of adults and he suddenly wasn't one anymore.

He recognized the cool metallic surfaces, a room decorated with little human sensibility in mind. It wasn't meant for human comfort. It was designed for efficiency and cleanliness. Reminded Ash of a dentist office. He always said so whenever he visited the Professor's lab. How he needed to make it feel less space aged, more warm. Professor Oak always laughed at that.

 _Pokemon don't care about interior decorating, son._ He had said.

Well, with as many opinions as Pikachu had laid on Ash since he had gained the ability to talk with him, Ash thought his first hunch might have been correct. Pokemon probably had several cares that Professor Oak never guessed.

Ash ran his hand along the countertop. It being a dream, he felt nothing. But that was weird. Usually, when Ash knew he was dreaming, he'd wake up. All it took was trying to eat a sandwich that didn't exist or touch something that wasn't there. The feeling of nothing when there was supposed to be something was often enough to knock him out of it. And yet, he seemed stuck here. Here, in an empty room he hadn't walked through in years.

Well, not entirely empty. There were three pokeballs in the center of the room, sitting invitingly on a computer console. From his memory, Ash knew they'd be empty. He was too late to receive any of them. And sure enough, when Ash lifted one off the console and opened it up- it coughed up nothing.

Figuring he probably had no choice but to follow the linear path of his memories, Ash booted up the console just as he had remembered Professor Oak doing. It was more of a facsimile of the motions, having not been actually aware of what functions the buttons on the console did. His dream accepted the intent, revealing the hidden department that contained Pikachu's sealed pokeball.

When Ash reached for the ball, his hand knocked against another. Startled, Ash recoiled. He found himself face to face with a mirror. Except the mirror was dressed in different clothes, equipped with a full pokebelt and looking far less surprised at the circumstance they had found themselves in than Ash did.

"You're him again, aren't you?" Ash asked.

His mirror smiled and nodded. And with a casualness that Ash himself couldn't possibly possess in such a weird situation, the mirror decided to climb up on the console and sit. He pushed the empty pokeballs off, knocking them noisily to the floor. Pikachu's he ignored, deciding to sit alongside it with his too short legs dangling off the side of the console top. If Professor Oak had caught Ash doing that, he'd have killed him. Not that Ash hadn't often wanted to do just that when he was growing up. Especially when standing around for one of the Professor's many lectures.

Ash didn't exactly want to climb up now. His mirror made him uncomfortable. It was too much like him. So he stood at a distance, observing as one would a predator. "Why do you keep showing up?"

" _Because you don't remember me yet."_

"I'm trying… I mean, I know my memory was wiped. I thought that would help… bring some of my memories back. But… I still don't remember anything. I don't even know when it happened. Or even how much of my memory I lost."

" _One day."_

Ash frowned at his other self's cryptic response. "One day… I'll remember?"

" _No,"_  The mirror jumped down, flipping back his classic baseball cap as he did so.  _"You lost an entire day of our memories."_

"So what are you then? The day that I lost?"

His mirror flashed him a finger gun and a wink.  _"Exactamundo."_

Then he waved out his hands and the room broke apart as if it were only as strong a stack of cardboard boxes. Behind it was a darkened sky and a long dock winding into nothing. He supposed it was a dock on an ocean or lake. But in the limits of his memory, the dock emptied out into sky. Ash looked around the new landscape. He vaguely remembered passing through this area, stopping at a pokemon center to wait out a storm. He had seen Mew that afternoon, slipping through the storm clouds.

Ash realized he had long since come to the conclusion that this day and his lost memories were connected. He just hadn't put them together in so many words.

" _We fought hard to get there. It was so important,"_  His mirror continued, staring hard out into the blank edge of Ash's fragmented memories.  _"We had to prove ourselves."_

"To who?"

" _Who else? To Mewtwo."_ As his mirror spoke, he rose his hand and pointed across the expanse of nothing. Ash couldn't see what his mirror could see. The sky went on forever and revealed no secrets.

"So, I went… to Mewtwo…  _voluntarily_?" Ash found it hard to believe that even his younger foolhardy self would just decide to meet with Mewtwo. Obviously, it must have been some sort of trap. From what he had pieced together from Mew's memories, Ash had seen how Mewtwo behaved. The creature couldn't be reasoned with. It wanted to start a fight that Ash and Mew seemed willing, at least at that point of their encounter, to give it.

" _We were invited."_

"Oh, of course," Ash blinked, thinking he must have been joking. When his mirror didn't correct himself, Ash continued. "Wait, you're serious?"

" _The world's greatest pokemon master was waiting for me. I couldn't say no."_

"That's… kinda cocky?"

His mirror shrugged.  _"I'm ten."_

His mirror started walking, right towards the end of the dock. Ash knew he couldn't stop him. He also knew he couldn't follow. The path wasn't there yet. So he walked alongside, daring one final comment.

"But wait, a pokemon can't be a pokemon master."

His mirror only smiled. They reached the edge of the dock. Ash stayed far from the edge that his mirror was comfortably teetered on. The mirror spared one last backward look to the young man he'd eventually become.

" _I know. I said that too."_ And with that, he stepped out into the open air and disappeared.

* * *

 **H** e returned to himself with violence. As if it was he who slipped over the edge of the dock and into the endless sky. Someone had pinned his pinwheeling arms to his side, keeping him from swinging them out. This didn't exactly help with the terror that had seized him.

"Ash! It's okay! You're safe, you're fine! I've got you!" Someone shouted over his own cries.

Ash swallowed his scream, frozen by the sound of  _her_ voice. Although he still didn't know where he was, he felt her arms around him. He could smell her sweet perfume, soft and deep like cedarwood. She never thought the floral stuff smelled good of her, although Ash always thought (or hoped) it might have been because he said floral perfume gave him a headache. Her touch stilled his nervous tremors but not quite the pounding in his chest. He held down his breath and tried to calm down, for her sake.

His heartbeat was still rattling about his ribcage like an angry mankey trying to escape. But Ash dared to open his eyes. The light that made it inside the tarp-covered wagon was a low late afternoon orange. It flickered around the deep shadows, only just outlining the pale faces around him.

And Misty, just as he suspected, held him. He was draped across her lap, although he was pretty sure he hadn't fallen asleep in such a position. And oddly enough, when his eyes met hers, he had the strangest feeling that there was disappointment there. But then she gave her head a little shake and it was gone.

"Ash, are you okay?"

Ash didn't answer right away. It was more pressing to extract himself from her embrace. He did so quickly, trying to ignore his burning cheeks.

"I'm fine, fine," Ash mumbled, rubbing the last of the sleep from his eyes. "It was just a night-"

Ash looked up, surprised to see Gary there too. He was sitting annoyingly close to Misty. And yet, when Ash put his hand down to touch the wooden slats underneath him, he could feel the familiar hum of the truck's motor. They were still traveling although temporarily idled, perhaps at a traffic stop. That made Gary's appearance all the more confusing.

"What are  _you_ doing back here?" Ash asked, his voice coming out more accusatory than it meant it.

"Ouch. Good morning to you too, Sleeping Beauty."

"Sorry," Ash sputtered out, too conscious of Misty's eyes on him. "I just thought you needed to be up front. You know, to give directions."

Gary shrugged. "I switched with the blue-haired guy, what's his name? Jim?"

"James," Ash said at the same time as most of the others sitting in the wagon. Gary didn't seem to notice, waving the answer off.

"Yeah, him. He couldn't sleep. So at the last rest stop, I decided to switch with him. Also, been worried about you, Ashy-boy. You were almost murdered by a swarm of baby pokemon."

His concern might have been touching if he hadn't of punctuated the statement by playfully pinching Ash's nose.  _Old habits die hard._  Ash recoiled, rubbing his nose grumpily. "Yeah well, don't remind me."

He hadn't exactly been that forthcoming about what had happened back there in the woods.

First, he wasn't that eager to spread around that he was playing host to a legendary. Even if these were probably the only group of people he'd ever be comfortable sharing such a secret with, it wasn't something you just said. Ash also suspected… although he hadn't yet had to courage to admit it, some of his reluctance was tied up in the small hope that he might somehow reverse what had been done to him. It was more than just a long shot. But if he did what Mew wanted maybe he would just go back to normal, just like things always did after running an errand for the Legendaries. However, if he let the figurative cat out of the bag, that could complicate things. And he might have to admit to himself that there probably wasn't a cure.

He knew it was a childish thing to hope. But the thought was keeping him together and he wasn't willing to let go of it yet.

And second, Ash didn't exactly remember everything that happened. It was a messy blur of running, leaves and dancing lights. Ash could have sworn that he summoned Mew's powers to rescue them. But judging by Misty's nonchalant reaction when asked, perhaps he hadn't? Or was it just as she said and that she had fainted? Had he actually gotten that lucky?

Ash spared a quick glance Misty's way. When his eyes met her own, she predictably looked away. Just as she always had since his unfortunate confession. But not for the first time, Ash suspected a different reason for her avoidance.

Was his secret still a secret?  _Or_ , said a dark little thought in the back of Ash's mind,  _is she lying to me?_

Ash shook the thought away. No, Misty wouldn't do that. She couldn't keep a secret like that to herself. And even so, why would she? Surely the first hint of Ash's powers would have her flying off the handle trying to get as much information out of him as possible. He  _knew_  her. She wouldn't have been satisfied with only half answers.

So the very result of her asking nothing meant she must not have seen anything at all. Ash could have been satisfied with that reasoning if it weren't for her stares that he could feel on him when she thought he wasn't looking. Ever since they had rejoined the others she had kept up a strange dance of staying close and also keeping him at arm's length. Ash couldn't make heads or tails of it.

"So you okay? That nightmare seemed kinda rough," Gary asked, his question bulldozing through the tension he couldn't even begin to sense between his two companions. Misty sat back a bit. Ash folded his arms and turned his back on her in turn.

"It's fine. I've had worse."

"About pidgey?" Gary grinned.

Ash rolled his eyes but it was Misty who punched Gary's arm. "Hey, don't joke. Those were pretty terrifying. I wouldn't blame Ash for having nightmares about them."

"It wasn't that. Just a regular dream about…" Ash paused, staring curiously at his own knees. A thought suddenly struck him. Something he had never considered before. "Hey…" Ash began gently. "Do you guys ever get dreams? Dreams about a long dock leading to the stormy dark skies and a black ocean… or maybe an empty pokemon stadium, on an island?"

Gary shook his head. But Misty looked oddly perplexed. She hesitated before saying, "Not dreams… no. But… but just now, that sounded familiar. Did we ever travel somewhere like that before?"

"It was a pokemon center we stopped at in the middle of a massive storm. Happened back when we were around ten years old… towards the end of my first Indigo league run."

"Yeah, I remember that storm. Kept us in a hotel room in Vermillion all night. They were talking about it looking like the storm of the century and then it just…" Gary spread out his hands and shrugged. "Poof. Nothing. Blew back into the ocean, they said. My girls were quite relieved."

Misty glared at Gary. Although Ash didn't know if it was because Gary interrupted him or if the mention of his previous team of cheerleaders was enough to soil paradise a little for the two love birds. Ash, who admittedly didn't really want to know, cleared his throat.

"Yeah. We were near Pallet. Remember, Misty? You, me and Brock traveled north for some reason. Although none of us could remember why."

Misty rubbed her head. "Yeah, that was weird. It was out of our way and everything. I always just thought you and Brock got us lost again somehow."

Ash nodded and closed his eyes. He felt a familiar hum bubbling up from down deep and it temporarily derailed his thoughts. Mew was present but she wasn't speaking. He could feel her thoughts all the same. As if they had been written on the back of mind, slowly floating to the surface.

_**Are you sure you want to tell them this?** _

Pikachu must have been listening in. His pokemon rubbed up against his arm, obviously sensing his friend's discomfort. Ash let his hand fall heavily onto Pikachu's head, scratching him behind the ears. Trying to say without words that he was okay with this.

_They need to know._

_**But are** _ **you** _**ready to tell them?** _

_I have to be. We all have to be. Or we won't be able to face Mewtwo._

Privately, in a deeper part of his mind, Ash came upon a realization. He whispered it down deep where Mew couldn't hear.  _That's what you were trying to tell me, wasn't it?_

" _ **We fought hard to get there. It was so important… We had to prove ourselves."**_

Ash reopened his eyes. "That's when we first met Mewtwo."

Misty and Gary were both given a start. Jessie, Giovanni, and Meowth, who were honestly only half listening, turned about. Giovanni looked particularly bothered by this news but had sense enough not to open his mouth.

Not Jessie though.

"What? What's this? You've met this pokemon before? Why didn't you say anything?"

Thankfully, Misty saved Ash from having to respond. Unfortunately, it didn't seem as if she were taking his words seriously.

"Hang on, Ash," Misty started, half laughing, half gasping out her response. "There is no way we met Mewtwo before. I would  _not_ have forgotten something like that."

"Me neither," added Gary.

"You wouldn't remember. Mewtwo wiped all of our memories." In an afterthought, Ash added. "Except you, Gary. I don't think you were there. Being in Vermillion and all that."

Misty covered her mouth with her hand as if she were about to be sick. "That's not possible. How could a pokemon… have that sort of power?"

"It's not… improbable," came Giovanni's unwanted interruption. All eyes flashed in his direction, only half of them unkind. "Mewtwo has a great many abilities. Some, I believe, we may have only scratched the surface of while he was within our care. I was not aware of memory-altering powers but… he is a pokemon of unfathomable psychic power with incalculable intelligence. If any pokemon had the capacity to wipe memories, I would be unsurprised to learn it was Mewtwo."

Silence fell like a heavy curtain on top of them. Ash couldn't help but notice the white pallor that overtook their faces. Misty was still grabbing at her mouth. Jessie was holding her arms tight to her chest. Gary was gripping at his hair, visibly trembling. Giovanni wasn't looking at any of them.

They were all suddenly as terrified as they should have been.

Gary was the first to say something. He moved his hands out of his hair, clutching his knees to stop the trembling. "Geezus, how do we stop a pokemon  _like that_?"

He didn't expect an answer. The fear was back and dark in his eyes. Ash felt well acquainted with that fear. Without even meaning to, Ash's hands automatically moved to the back pocket of his duffle bag, where the master ball lay. He stopped short of pulling it out. He felt its weight in his hands and let it drop free.

"I have a plan."

Gary hadn't expected an answer. But Ash would be giving him one. He noticed Ash's hand hidden in his duffle. He also noticed when Ash pulled his hand free, empty-handed.

"It's not ideal," Ash began again, avoiding Gary's eye. "But my memory is returning. I remember the dock. I remember not remembering. I don't think that's a coincidence."

Misty couldn't help but draw herself closer. Concern was clearly etched on her face, but she held herself back. "Those dreams, right? Didn't that pokemon in your dreams try to kill you?"

Ash smiled wryly. It was a long time he had thought of those old nightmares. There were a lot of real-life nightmares to replace them with. "I think those were the start, yes."

"So in the past, Mewtwo attacked you? And then… for some reason, it erased your memories of it all. Just what kind of pokemon was this thing?" Gary had directed that question mostly at Ash but reflexively turned to Giovanni in turn. After all, he was the only one who had an intact memory of the creature.

Ash nodded to Giovanni when the man hesitated. It was enough to encourage him to speak.

"I think I've already said everything I knew about it. It's insanely powerful and hates the human race. I gave it every reason to harbor those feelings."

"That matches up with what I know of it," Gary agreed begrudgingly.

Ash let his eyes fall closed. He willed the memory Mew had shared with him back into the forefront, examining it anew. Mewtwo radiated anger, that was true. But that was only the first layer, the superficial first impression that anyone could pick up on. Mew certainly didn't feel that way about him anymore. But she was aided by memories he and the others didn't have.

Ash felt Misty's hand on his shoulder.

"What do you remember, Ash?"

"Not much," Ash reopened his eyes. "He wanted to prove something. I don't completely understand what it was. And I guess, since we are all still here, he must have proved it."

Misty frowned a small frown. "I guess… that's one way to look at it."

"If he was powerful enough to erase our memories, wouldn't it stand to reason that he was powerful enough to kill us?" Ash turned to look at the others. They didn't have any answers for him. They only returned his questioning look blankly. So Ash continued, this time directing his question to his father. "If he hated all mankind, why didn't kill a couple of kids? Why are we still alive?"

"So what are you saying, twerp?" Jessie looked more recovered than the others. Even Meowth seemed to be contemplating what Ash was saying, reevaluating his fear. Ash credited that on Team Rocket's eternal optimism. They were used to chasing down Pikachu whilst simultaneously dodging the impossible.

"There are no evil pokemon. Only evil people who make them do evil things," Ash didn't bother to look away from his father. Once again, Giovanni had sense enough to keep his head bowed. Ash balled a fist, his determination and courage mounting, "I'm getting my memory back for a reason. Mewtwo spared us for a reason. I'm gonna ask him what that reason is."

* * *

 

 **U** nsurprisingly, Ash's plan wasn't taken well. Save for the ever indomitable Team Rocket trio, none of the others felt like Ash was thinking clearly. They thought him soft-hearted at best, downright stupid at worst.

Who in their right mind, when faced with an impossibly powerful pokemon with genes stolen from a chief legendary, would think that a viable solution is to simply talk to it? Would besides Ash?

Maybe it's because they knew him the best. Team Rocket had witnessed too many impossible things being solved by seemingly impossible means. Maybe that's why Ash's plans to talk to Mewtwo seemed no stranger than any other he might have suggested. Even James, who was informed of the situation a bit later on, seemed completely satisfied with the plan.

Course, the other reason may have been that Team Rocket had nothing to lose by playing along. If Ash got his head blasted off trying to coo nice things at a psychic pokemon, at most they'd just have to find a new ride home.

Heck, they might even be at a gain if they snatched up Ash's orphaned pikachu on the way out.

Ash tried not to contemplate that scenario too much though.

When they stopped to rest for the night, Ash went off on his own. Since they were currently in the middle of the woods and Pikachu had trotted off along with him, no one felt the need to follow. The others set up camp while Ash and Pikachu walked a bit of a ways off, discovering a small lake cresting the edge of their campsite. Ash started along the bank leaving Pikachu no choice but to ride on his friend's shoulders. The mud was shallow but enough to swallow up Pikachu's little feet. And the pokemon wasn't that keen about getting the dirt out of his fur later.

" _So,"_  Pikachu began, licking off what bits of dirt had managed to smudge his paws.  _"Did you want to talk about your plan?"_

Ash sighed deeply. He stopped, letting his sneakers sink disappointingly in the mud. "I'm guessing you think I'm crazy too?"

" _Not really. I expected you to stick to this route. I also think we should try talking to Mewtwo first. Sneak attack or full frontal assault would be no less insane when dealing with an unknown powerhouse like this. Did you want me to defend your plan for you? Will that make you feel better?"_

Ash smiled. "That won't be necessary."

" _But you still doubt yourself."_

"Yeah, that's me. Mr. Self-esteem."

Ash slipped his hand into his back pocket and withdrew the pokeball he had been trying to forget about unsuccessfully since it was dropped into his hands. He didn't regret stealing it. It was too important that they learn what White Ice had at their disposal. What he regretted was letting Gary know about it.

He saw his rival's look back in the wagon. They both knew what Ash had been thinking at that time. It would be so easy to keep everyone safe. They could solve all their problems with a single well-timed throw.

Ash stared down hard at the purple monstrosity. With a single press, it filled the span of his palm comfortably. It felt no different from any other pokeball. It would be so easy to just forget what it could do.

" **I don't blame you, you know,"**  Ash's mouth on its own accord, temporarily arrested by Mew's control.  **"Capturing Mewtwo would be the best way to ensure you and your friends' safety."**

Ash gripped the pokeball harder. His hand was trembling as he answered, "Mew… how well do you know, Mewtwo? Is there any reason to believe… that he wouldn't hurt us? Or are you just assuming that he's changed?"

" **I believe he has changed."**

"That's not good enough!" Ash turned about abruptly, nearly knocking Pikachu from his perch. He took to pacing a very short spanse as if he couldn't quite decide where he actually wanted to go. Tethered between two choices, he wavered to and fro. "My friends, my pokemon- they are all looking to me for the right answer. I need to be sure, Mew. They are depending on me to know what I'm doing. But I can't shake the feeling that I'm leading everyone into a trap!"

" **What do you want from me, Ashton? I told you what I know."**

"But you haven't told me  _all_ that you know, have you?" Her silence was answer enough. He only waited another half a beat before continuing, "All I have from your memories is a pokemon who was hell-bent on proving himself to the world. He seemed… ready to take anyone and everyone on. I'm pretty sure he could have done it. What made him stop?"

Mew's answer was a soft and fragile thing on Ash's lips.  **"You did."**

"How?" Ash could feel her receding from his mind again. She didn't want to have this painful conversation. But he needed to know. How else could he know he was making the right choice?

" **I can't… It wouldn't help..."**

"Please, Mew. I don't have these memories. You need to tell me why you think he's changed. What did I do to change his mind?"

Ash could feel the answer on his tongue but couldn't will it free.

Instead, Mew composed herself and said,  **"Ashton… I'll defer to your judgment in this. You don't have to trust me. Whether you decide to use the pokeball or not, you'll know what the right choice is. You saved us before, I know you'll do it again."**

Ash didn't like this answer. But he felt the heavy finality in it. She wasn't going to respond anymore to his needling questions. Mew had fallen away again, down deep where Ash couldn't reach her. He tried a few times. His calls and curses went unanswered.

Ash swung out, fully intending to pitch the pokeball in his frustration. He wanted to cast it right into the center of the lake. He always had a good arm. He could launch it pretty far. But something stopped him. Ash couldn't bring himself to let go of it, even at the peak of his swing. It was still too important. Cursing at himself, Ash minimized and stuffed the damned thing back into his pocket.

" _It's okay,_  Pikapi, _"_ His pikachu said softly, patting his grumpy trainer on the head.  _"Like Mew said, you dealt with Mewtwo before. You'll be able to do it again. Even if you can't remember what you did, you'll figure it out. You're the same person, after all."_

Ash nodded and started his glum trudge back towards camp. In the past, Ash would have voiced all his concerns. He would have had no qualms laying himself bare. But now, Ash kept his mouth shut because he knew Pikachu fully understood him. It was funny how his new comprehension was making him feel more dishonest and less sure of himself. He didn't know that learning more could make you feel more stupid.

If he were braver, he would have admitted that he actually wasn't the same person. And that's exactly what terrified him the most.

As soon as Ash was within view of the group's makeshift camp, he could hear the arguing, loud and boisterous as it was. Ash was half surprised he hadn't heard them from further off. Thinking it might be necessary for him to step in, Ash picked up his pace. Pikachu only just held on as Ash jogged his way back to the others. And as he came closer, Ash could finally piece together what the argument was about.

Ash was no more thrilled about it than the others had been.

"Splitting up?" Ash spat out, as soon as he within the confines of their camp circle. He tossed off his backpack in frustration, nearly knocking Pikachu off his shoulder in the process. Pikachu let out a few choice curse words that Ash pretended he couldn't hear. "Why on earth would we want to split up?"

"Oh good," a decidedly exasperated Gary groaned. He waved in Ash's direction as he continued, as if trying to shoo him away again, "Just what I needed. Mister Sensible-And-Never-Overreacts to come back before we finished hashing this out. Look this was always a possible outcome."

"But we all agreed that we should try to avoid it at all costs," Misty interrupted. By the red hue her face had taken, Ash guessed she had been yelling just as much as the others had been. "There's no sense in splitting up. It makes us more vulnerable if we should be ambushed. We don't have any means to contact each other if we are!"

"It also makes us less suspicious than one giant group. And that's better to avoid possible ambush."

"I don't relish at the idea of lessening our numbers but young Oak has a point," came Giovanni's unwanted interruption. "The less attention we draw to ourselves, the better we would be in the long run. Better to avoid conflict altogether."

Jessie and James may have been on opposing sides before, (and judging from the raised voices Ash had heard earlier they must have been) but now they nodded along like obedient little bobbleheads to Giovanni's peace. Ash couldn't stand looking at them. He kept forgetting how much sway his father still had over others.

"What about the wild pokemon, Gary?" Ash finally spat out. "Don't you think they could attack again?"

To Gary's credit, he looked appropriately humbled. But he was still undeterred, "Yes. But I hardly think it improves our chances as a larger group. Damn little things were near impossible to stop. Would be easier to prepare for random lightning strikes. We just have to hope they don't come for us. And we might be less of a target if we aim for stealth tactics."

"Why are we even splitting up in the first place?"

"We don't have a choice," Misty answered for Gary, relieving him from having to relay all the bad news. "We can't go any further with the truck. Public roads don't turn that way. We have to cut through these woods to the next destination, on foot." Ash noted she had forgotten not to make eye contact with him. She said her spiel, meeting Ash's dark eyes unflinchingly. It took Ash a moment to realize that perhaps she hadn't simply forgotten but was intentionally and wordlessly impressing Ash with the weight of decision they were making. The danger, the risk, all of it.

Once again, Ash was left with the impression that she knew far more than she claimed she did. Once again, Ash wondered if she saw someone else behind his eyes.

"As I said, that was always a possibility," came Gary's thoughtless interruption. "I just didn't know for sure until we got here."

Ash frowned and shook his head a little. "A little heads up would have been nice," he grumbled.

"And have to deal with you sulking the whole way here, no thank you."

Misty stood up suddenly, drawing all nearby eyes to her. "If it's inevitable then, I'm going with Ash."

Ash's heart lifted only to be swiftly kicked back down by Gary's quick retort of "Absolutely not."

"Why no-"

Gary gently tugged down on the brim of the cap she had on her head still. "You're our decoy, remember? A head shorter but still around the same proportions as Ash. We need you in the opposite party of Ash so that if we are followed, they aren't able to pick Ash out of our group."

Misty grumpily pulled her hat back from his grip. "Why can't you be a decoy?"

Gary ignored her, turning to Ash instead. Or so Ash thought. Gary's eyes were instead leveled on that of the pikachu on Ash's shoulder.

"Pikachu too," Gary said, gesturing to the surprised pokemon. "He's too recognizable. He'll need to travel with Misty to throw off the scent."

" _Oh hell no. Not again,"_  Pikachu spat. _"This is the stupidest plan, absolutely not."_

Ash turned his body to protectively place himself between Gary and his Pikachu. To save both from each other mostly. He didn't want to admit that Gary's plan actually seemed to make a lot of sense. He  _really_ didn't want to admit that. But Ash could see the logic in splitting their large party and in decreasing the chance that the group that he was in would be chased. Even if it made sense, Ash didn't have to like it.

"You're going to take my strongest pokemon from me and leave me defenseless?" Ash asked archly.

"Charizard?"

Ash shrugged, "Glass cannon. It's easy to exploit the weakness of a fire pokemon with an exposed fire element. Pikachu is still the best protection I have against White Ice."

Gary sighed in an unnecessarily long and exaggerated way. But he had already been pushed to his limits with the others. He didn't want to keep arguing. He twisted a pokeball off his belt and dropped it heavily into Ash's hand.

"Take Starfish."

Ash unintentionally wrinkled his nose. "A water pokemon?"

"No, dumbass. It's my Jolteon." Gary's cheeks were pink and he didn't meet Ash's questioning look. "I don't usually do nicknames but… you know…" It didn't take a genius to realize the significance of the pokemon. In a flash, Ash remembered the pictures he had seen on Misty's phone. Ash recalled in one of them, one of the clearly more couple-like pictures that Ash didn't want to linger on, Misty and Gary had been cooing over two identical baby eevees. Starfish. Jolteon and Vaporeon.

Ash frowned down at the pokeball, hating what it meant and hating himself for feeling that way. He shook the jealous feeling away. And then Pikachu stole his attention back by patting his cheek.

" _Hey_ Pikapi _. Don't tell me you're actually thinking of going through with this."_

"It might be for the best."

" _Ugh. You're seriously trading me for a Jolteon."_

"It's only temporary."

" _It better be."_

If it were anyone else, Ash doubted they would have been able to convince Pikachu to go. But because it was Misty… Pikachu would go. There was only one other person he trusted and loved as much as he loved his human partner. He always had a bit of a soft spot for girls. But Misty, in particular, she was just the right kind of human. The right kind of temperament and right kind of intelligence, Pikachu couldn't help but admire her aptitude for pokemon battles. She was a lot of things that Ash was not. It would have been perfect if he could have had both humans around all the time. This was all what Ash assumed Pikachu must have felt. Admittedly, he had never asked.

Although up until recently, he wouldn't have understood the reply.

"Take good care of her, okay? Don't let her be reckless," Ash muttered under his breath, careful to keep certain ears from hearing, before gently passing Pikachu off his shoulder and onto Misty's.

" _Like you?"_  Pikachu smirked.

"Yeah. Like me."

"Like who?"

"Nothing," Ash said quickly, retreating now that the exchange had been made. Misty looked about as thrilled of this plan as Ash was. She reluctantly accepted Pikachu with a friendly chin scratch but couldn't keep the disapproval from her face.

"This might fool White Ice but only White Ice," She grumbled.

Ash started at her words.  _He_ knew they had other enemies but what other enemies was  _she_ imagining?

The fight had been fizzled out of everyone. A long day of traveling had left them with short tempers but hardly any energy to act upon it. And while Ash had hoped they wouldn't split the party until morning, Gary found it imperative to put some distance between each other as soon as possible.

Ash had been surrendered over to a group that consisted mostly of Team Rocket, minus a Meowth and Boss. Giovanni, Gary, Misty, Pikachu, and Meowth would all walk as a separate party.

The truck was already gone. And since Ash and Jessie were both slow to unpack, their group was volunteered to take point. They would start walking for the rest of the evening, resting only once the sun had come up. Jessie had taken to complaining again, grumbling about lost beauty sleep despite having snored her way through most of the journey so far.

They had just been making some final preparations, reluctantly saying goodbye to a campsite they wouldn't be able to enjoy. Ash ran through a quick inventory check when James came up alongside and elbowed him hard.

Ash hadn't thought it was intentional first. But then, indignantly rubbing his side and looking up, Ash met James' raised eyebrow look. The man was nodding in Misty's direction. She sat by the campfire, her yellowed hair haloed by the low firelight. She was having a one-sided conversation with Pikachu and the pokemon appeared to be humoring her.

"Last chance," James whispered.

Ash resisted the urge to argue. Gary was nowhere in sight. It probably was his last chance.

Ignoring James' knowing smile he felt on his back, Ash reluctantly approached. She saw him coming and offered him a small smile.

"Can I sit?" Ash asked, pointing to a spot on the log just down from Pikachu.

Misty generously waved the whole log to him. "Be my guest."

He sat, looking nervously from his pokemon to his best friend in turn. Ash didn't know what James expected from him. Hell, Ash didn't even know what he was thinking himself. Now that he was faced with her, all the questions were just a burning twisted mess inside. He couldn't even begin to untangle one to ask the other. How did she feel about him? What did she actually know? Were she and Gary dating? Was she aware of Mew now? He just stared at her face until it got a bit too obvious and awkward. Then he stared at his feet.

"I think you… I think you are lying to me," Ash said at last. It seemed the accusation was the easiest to get out. It was always too easy to argue with her.

He half expected her to get angry as she always had in the past. Even the smallest passive criticism was bound to toss her into the throes of rage. But this time, her response was an even and calm, "Lying? What do you mean?"

Ash couldn't help but stare back at her suspiciously. She brazenly met his gaze. It was almost as she was expecting this conversation. That she had been preparing for it.

"You saw more than you claimed. Back when those pidgey attacked."

"I already told you what I saw, Ash. Was there supposed to be something more?"

Suddenly, Ash realized he was at a great disadvantage. Probing her for answers would force him to show his hand. And Ash suspected she knew this too. He looked helplessly to Pikachu. The pokemon only shrugged.

Ash ran a hand down his face and laughed weakly. "No… I guess not. Nevermind."

He sat only a moment more before climbing back to his feet. He held out a hand to his friend.

"I'll catch you later, Mist."

Misty smiled but it looked like a lot of effort. She took his hand. "Be safe, Ash."

"I always am."

* * *

To Be Continued...  
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